Thank you all for your understanding.
Yes, Jim, I agree that some of this (especially the "at least I won't kill you" statement) was intended as a "joke", but I wasn't amused at all. Like you stated, these are not jokes you tell a patient in this situation, and certainly not a lady. It was obvious that he didn't believe in a good outcome.
I don't think that he is an "old school" surgeon, he is quite young. I think that one problem might be lack of surgical experience in post-radiated tumors.
Clarice, the doctor's reasoning behind the 100% paralysis statement is that a facial radiated nerve has "thinned" out, so it is very difficult to avoid paralysis, given also the size. And he didn't seem willing to leave a tiny portion (contrary to what the neurotologist who works with him had said), because there is no option for radiation afterwards.
Of course we have heard about surgery being more difficult post radiation - I did read an article from the House sometime ago (I wish I could find it again), that had some evidence of this, but finally it concluded that the difference was not statistically significant.
Oh, and he also mentioned something about trying a combination of translab and retrosigmoid, has anyone heard of this before?
The good news is that I have three very well known and respected neurosurgeons lined up for the upcoming consultations - I tried very hard to get these referrals, and I think they are the best I can find in Canada. So I don't want to dwell on this negative experience too much, hoping that the next consultations will be more productive.
Jim, I hope your wife will manage to get her consultations soon.
Thank you for listening,
Marianna