Dear TW,
Thank you! It has been a blessing to me to journey back to this forum, certainly, it has been vastly helpful.
Without trying to make you feel sorry for me, I have been on this journey for a long time, it seems.
I have been very fortunate in my life, but, I do not want to experiment with myself, while I count myself as a very lucky survivor of an AVM surgery done in 1973 (that's when brain surgery was in it's infancy), I am not done, I can certainly inspire others to not give up, that the brain is a very remarkable instrument(organ), it is truly worth fighting for!
I will take everything that you have advised and will certainly think about it.
I try to live my life to the fullest, to live without fear, but this recurrent AN nightmare keeps pulling me back. Let me explain, in 2004, while I was confused about being diagnosed with an AN, I panicked and while I was gathering information I went to another website for Brain Tumors and I stayed there while I was there (that site is for helping those that are there primarily with metastatic brain tumors) I learned that since you only go around once, you may as well " eat all the chocolate you can while you have the chance", in other words live with no regrets or as little as possible.
That theory has proved useful, but I'm not done yet with this life! If I can inspire others to act, then so be it!
Usually, I am a very positive person( or so I see myself). My wife of 32 years doesn't agree and could use the caregivers forum on here.
So for now, thank you for what you have said, it will I think allow me to ask questions at least!
Mike
Ps. I will keep others informed about my choices, it's certainly good to be back among people who understand that as well as quality of life we want quantity!