ANA Discussion Forum
AN Community => AN Community => Topic started by: arizonajack on April 01, 2013, 09:46:42 am
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Dateline: Geneva, Switzerland
At a press conference today in Geneva scientists at CERN announced a breakthrough in Tachyon research resulting in new treatment of tumors and other medical conditions.
The European Organization for Nuclear Research, known as CERN, is an international organization whose purpose is to operate the world's largest particle physics laboratory. Established in 1954, the organization is based in the northwest suburbs of Geneva on the Franco–Swiss border.
The laboratory employs just under 2,400 full-time employees, 1,500 part-time employees, and hosts some 10,000 visiting scientists and engineers, representing 608 universities and research facilities and 113 nationalities.
CERN's main function is to provide the particle accelerators and other infrastructure needed for high-energy physics research.
Several important achievements in particle physics have been made during experiments at CERN. They include:
1973: The discovery of neutral currents in the Gargamelle bubble chamber.
1983: The discovery of W and Z bosons in the UA1 and UA2 experiments.
1989: The determination of the number of light neutrino families at the Large Electron–Positron Collider (LEP) operating on the Z boson peak.
1995: The first creation of antihydrogen atoms in the PS210 experiment.
1999: The discovery of direct CP violation in the NA48 experiment.
2005: The verification of the existence of Tachyons.
2010: The isolation of 38 atoms of antihydrogen.
2011: Maintaining antihydrogen for over 15 minutes.
2012: A boson with mass around 125 GeV/c2 consistent with long-sought Higgs boson.
Since 2005 CERN has been conducting considerable research into the use of Tachyons in science and medicine.
A Tachyon is a sub-atomic particle that moves faster than light. As noted by Einstein, Tolman, and others, special relativity implies that faster than light particles could be used to communicate backwards in time.
However, this is not practical given the current state of technology so CERN turned its research to more practical and immediate areas and discovered that radiating a tumor with Tachyons created a temporal regression of the cells of the tumor restoring the tumor and the surrounding tissue to a point in time before the tumor existed, thus eliminating the tumor and restoring damaged nerves and tissue to their previously healthy state.
Professor Jeffrey T Spalding, a reknowned physicist, author and lecturer commented, “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
And reminded us that today is April Fools Day.
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Good one, Jack...
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Jack,
I think they took out my humor chip the last time they operated.........
Mike
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Does it just take the tumor back in time or your whole body, because there are some thing I would like to do over. Like in my 20's.
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Does it just take the tumor back in time or your whole body, because there are some thing I would like to do over. Like in my 20's.
They're working on that.
;D
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I'm fairly new to the forum but I've noted Arizonajack's good sense of humor in other posts. I'm proud to say that 3/4 of the way through the article description I saw this one coming. But I still laughed.
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I'm fairly new to the forum but I've noted Arizonajack's good sense of humor in other posts. I'm proud to say that 3/4 of the way through the article description I saw this one coming. But I still laughed.
3/4 of the way?
What gave it away?
;D
Anybody catch on sooner?
Later?
::)
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It was all over when I saw CERN...
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It was all over when I saw CERN...
How do you know CERN?
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Mostly from listening to Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory"... :)
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Mostly from listening to Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory"... :)
I haven't watched that but I learned about CERN reading the novel "Flash Forward" by Robert J Sawyer. Later made into a TV show that was great but barely resembled the novel.
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yes-I liked that show-not nearly enough good sci-fi on TV these days...but I'm thinking we could come up with something like "Invasion of the Gamma Knife People"....
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yes-I liked that show-not nearly enough good sci-fi on TV these days...but I'm thinking we could come up with something like "Invasion of the Gamma Knife People"....
"Plan 9 From Gamma Space"
Revolution is back on. Wasn't too good in its first run. I have two episodes tapes but haven't watched yet.
The Sci-Fi channel has had some good stuf for the last few years: Eureka, Haven (not quite sci-fi), Warehouse 13, Sanctuary, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate Universe. But they all seem to have run their course.
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Unfortunately, our budget doesn't allow for the scyfy channel, but my daughter taped all the "newer" Battlestar Gallactica seasons for me-loved that show...
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Unfortunately, our budget doesn't allow for the scyfy channel, but my daughter taped all the "newer" Battlestar Gallactica seasons for me-loved that show...
You can watch the SyFy channel shows on your computer.
http://www.syfy.com/rewind/?__source=Syfy_Global_Nav
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:o I was really beginning to think as I read this--what fool would believe this to be true?!! Surprise--I was the fool to believe it was a factual account of some kind of research.. Duh.. ::)
Thanks for a good laugh on myself--I needed that!!!
Regards,
GrammyMary-MLB :P
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The measure of a good April Fool story is how long it takes people to realize that it's an April Fool story.
I put a lot of thought into it.
Most of the article is true, including that there has been theorizing about the existence of tachyons though no evidence of their existence has yet to be found.
The part about the medical treatment, of course, was imaginary.
Glad you enjoyed it.