ANA Discussion Forum
Post-Treatment => Facial Issues => Topic started by: arkansasfarmgirl on June 08, 2009, 11:56:21 am
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It finally hit home for me that not everybody around me is as obsessed with my facial paralysis/recovery as I am. I have been smiling now, truly smiling with teeth and everything for about 3 weeks. Not a perfect smile, but I'm thrilled about it. 2 days ago, my MOTHER, who I see just about every single day, said "oh my goodness, you're smiling!" I'm like where have you been, Woman?? She said, sorry, I guess I haven't really looked at you lately. ROFL (you mean I'm not the center of her universe?? wth? hahaha)
Vonda
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Vonda,
That sounds just like something my mother would say! :D But you know that mom always knows her children are the most beautiful in the whole world, no matter what!
Enjoy your smiling - I hope you get lots of opportunities to use it! ;D
Lori
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Vonda~
So happy that things are working out for you and that you have a TOOTHY smile! I think that people get used to how it is and don't really think about the inadequacies like we do and then one day they really notice and then they are like, "WOW!" At least that is how it has been since my T3...
K ;D
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Vonda ~
Thanks for your post about perspective. It raises a good point.
I thinks it's axiomatic that as human beings (movie stars excepted) we're each focused on ourselves a lot more than anyone else may be. I don't think that's egotistical or vain, just reality. We care about how we look and feel on a minute-to minute basis because we have to live in our body. No one else does. Of course I care about how others around me, especially my family, feel - and if they don't look well, I'm concerned - and say so. That's doubly true for children. However, I'm even more concerned about how I'm feeling today because that will affect how I function. If I think I don't look good (well, 'presentable' will do) that will also affect my state of mind to some extent. In that regard, I think most of us are the same. Of course, I could be wrong.
I don't expect those around me to have the same level of concern for my health or appearance on as I do. I'm sure your mom was just being honest. Although you may be keenly aware of any facial mobility deficits, she isn't and just accepts you as the daughter she's always loved. That you can smile - with teeth showing - is great, but she probably thought you looked just fine even when you couldn't do that. At least, that's the way I would choose to look at it. It's a lot easier that way. ;)
Jim
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Vonda: great news about the smile ! ! I understand about the facial concern. I still am embarrassed to eat out b/c it doesn't look nice when I eat & I don't want to gross out other restaurant patrons. My friends think I'm being silly.....
Always good thoughts, Nancy
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Nancy-
I just ask for extra napkins and then when I eat, I just kind of put my hand in front of my mouth. That way I can still go & socialize but hopefully not gross anyone out! I know your friends would just love to have you there - give it a try!!
K
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That is so awesome!!! Post a photo! It can be so encouraging for those going through the graph!
Michelle ;D
Keep smiling Vonda!
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I didn't even know how bad I looked when eating until I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror at a restaurant. Now I do what Kay says, just cover my mouth with a napkin and try to take tiny bites. But I refuse to let it keep my away from socializing with my friends and family. I really don't think most people notice as much as we think they do. I am a den mother and was so afraid after surgery that I would scare my little 8 year olds. Ya know what, they couldn't care less. They are only interesting in if I made brownies or not. I honestly think we are our own worst critics.
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Yep, I'm a big fan of the hand alongside the mouth while eating! And, I never take a bite without "dabbing" my lip and chin with a napkin. You just never know what may be hanging off your chin at any moment in time! ;D
Patience.
Debbi
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Tiny bites....one good thing about the eating issue is that I don't eat as fast as I used to. I'm a big guy, my wife is small. In typical big guy fashion I used to frequently finish what she didn't eat when we would go out partially because I ate too fast, finished before her, and was still somewhat hungry. These days she typically finishes before I do. I find that I rarely finish hers....unless its something I really like of course.... ;D. Extra napkins is a must.