Caregivers... taking care of yourself, as well

[followingHim]

To be absolutely honest I haven't thought of myself as a carer until recently when others started referring to me as such and I thought "Oh, I suppose I am a carer". We are very blessed to have very good friends who keep in touch and we enjoy having them round or going out to visit them or go out with them.  They are very understanding and considerate.  We are now finding that there is more help available to us after years of being told we didn't qualify for anything.  It is really nice that there are professionals who come to the house and discuss our needs with us.     I particularly love this site as it is very easy to feel isolated as we only know of one other person who has had an AN, and that is through someone at church.  We know we are being looked after and we are very blessed.

[ppearl214]

you ARE very blessed! I know you both have been through so much!  Caregiving can be exceptionally difficult. I am thrilled to see the ANA recognizes the caregiver as a major part of this crappy journey. They are even having time dedicated to caregivers at next week's symposium.  Caregivers are to be commended... as we have to truly step up to the plate, take charge as needed... and provide love and understanding to those in our lives that rely on us so heavily.  So, I tip my Pirate/Steve's hat to you.. and Rob is SO very lucky to have a very special "one" in his life!   Just remember to take time for you! (A Radox bubble bath works for me )

Phyl

[ppearl214]

well, Erin noted/reminded in another thread (http://anausa.org/forum/index.php?topic=11605.msg134012#msg134012) that caregivers need to take care of themselves...... and boy, have I failed miserably at it recently.

Many here know that I am the major caregiver in a non-AN related situation.... and for the past weeks, I have neglected to eat properly, rest properly, our apt needs a backhoe and deep cleaning, bills have not been paid (shame on me!), relationships have gone by the wayside (although I know everyone is in the wings, ready to jump in to help), etc.

I know its much easier said then done that we need to take care of ourselves when our energies is so very focused on our loved ones (LO) during their time of need.

I know I have to kick myself to remind myself to take proper care of myself .... yet, our LO's need us so very badly.

the balancing act is far from easy.

So, for me, I guess I need to practice what I preach, as I've shared here in the "Caregivers Forum"...and for all you caregivers that have seemed to have found the balance, my moderator hat is tipped to you, in congrats for being able to do so.. and would love to hear your secrets on accomplishing it.

Phyl

[leapyrtwins]

Phyl -

I don't know how you do all that you do; you have a lot on your plate. 

Take some time for yourself - you deserve it 

Jan

[Rich56]

Hi Phyl,

I can’t imagine how tough it is for you.  I know I was extremely fortunate, in that Scarlett’s independence came back very quickly.  I am there mainly for support, and a good back rub

Please try not to be so hard on yourself.

The bills will be there when you get to them, the house won’t fall down if you it isn’t 100 % in order, and you said everyone is in the wings if you need them.

So grab a bite to eat, and something to drink as you go about your caregiving/work day, and remember to take care of the most important thing, YOU

Here’s a cyber hug from both Scarlett and I (),

Rich

[ppearl214]

Jan, Rich (and Scarlett)... truly.... thank you!     

I have been trying to take some time for myself... and my best friend (best friend for 45 years, granted... we are only 21!  ) has also stepped up to help me/us out.  You both are right and trying to dedicate some time to what I need to do to help keep myself on track so I can better assist with my LO.

Jan, you KNOW how much I say thank you!      Truly.

Rich, your words of wisdom hit a note with me and you are so very right.

Trying to stay on track and take care of myself.  Just when the tough got tougher, I never realized how difficult it is not to become so overwhelmed, to the point of ignoring one's own self.  Am working on it... I promise!

Thank you both for being there for me... and us......

Phyl

[leapyrtwins]

Right back at ya, Phyl 

[pjb]

Hi, just checking in to make sure you are eating and had a good bubble bath forget the spa... too expensive anyways... forget the cleaning, sort of forget the bills for a couple of weeks only and make sure you take care of yourself because if you don't you will not be of any help to yourself or your LO..... From one who knows I took care of my mom and dad for 4 years and it was hard but boy do I miss them and wish I could do it all over again and be more prepared. Wish they were here for me having to go through my AN journey just to vent to them now I am lost and lonely and wish I could take care of them all over again without any secret feelings of why me's and any other normal feelings that we have in being in this position as the caregiver. We have to stop and think of our LO also they do not want to be so dependent on their caregiver either so somehow you have to balance their feelings and yours and you will both get through this and you will be a stronger person but only if you take care of yourself first and your LO second.

Best Wishes,

Pat

[Doc]

Dr. Phyl Rocks! 

 
Doc