Karen,
Hello, It's hard to say how long recovery will take. The size of the tumor will probably be a determinate on type of surgery and recovery time. In my case, I had a large tumor (3cm) and had it removed in two stages (two operations). I was back to work (I'm a business executive) within two weeks part time and full time in about four weeks after each procedure. It has been two years since my operations and I have resumed a normal, active life about 4 months after my procedures.
It can be overwhelming, there are alot of options and things to consider. One of the big concerns is preservation of the facial nerve. Be sure to ask any surgeon you are considering to go with his/her results with complete preservation of facial nerve function. I talked to surgeons at two great ear clinics, the House Clinic and The Michigan Ear Institute. The philosophy of both specialist was preservation of facial function over preserving hearing. With your son being young, I would image that would be a major consideration as well.
I hope this helps, Please feel free to follow-up with any other questions. I'm not a doctor or expert by any means. However, when I was diagnosed my wife and I did alot of research, as you are doing now.
Tom C.