Hi Jeff
I'm was alittle older then yourself when I had a large tumor removed (6cm) with outcomes that also put me in the disabled catagory.  It's alot of issues to deal with. alot of losses. The tumor, outcomes and medical, plus loss of identity in who we are when we no longer have a job, financial losses, too many stresses that  can directly have a negative effect not only on ourselves but also on those closest to us. It's difficult to find our way and the right direction to take.  It can be overwhelming. ÂÂ
Things that worked for us.  On days when the big picture was to much, it helped to list the problems by need. ÂÂ
Starting with the most important, then working on down to the lesser things.  Focusing on one thing at a time helped to get me going.
Talk to your family, don't shut them out, work together..  Early on my wife stated that she had no idea what direction we were headed in, but we were going as a family!  There was alot of trial and error but we hung in there.  When everything was said and done.  I credit the doctors with saving my life, my wife and family for giving me back my  life.
Surprisingly  a good source of information on what programs are available within the community
that might be of help was a person within the agency on aging.  These people know everything!!
See what's out there that might be of help.
I think the financial concerns were the hardest to face.  I felt I was letting my family down.  Like you our finances was downsized by more then half.  My job had the health insurance benefits which we also lost.  Again, this is a family issue that needs to be discussed.  My wife was employed at the time and still continues to work which is what has helped the most.  Working together on where to cut expenses, and just talking it thru.  You mention Disability Insurance, is this private insurance or Social Security Disability?  You might want to also consider appling for SSD.
Jeff, hang in there, you're not alone and I do understand how you're feeling.  If I can be of help please feel free to email me.
Best to you
Chet