Hi, Victoria ~
First, congratulations on securing a definite surgery date. Although no one anticipates AN surgery with much enthusiasm, once the decision to
have the surgery is settled, getting a firm date becomes sort of an accomplishment. Well, that was how I felt about it.
You'll find that as the Big Day approaches, you'll likely become much more aware of anything 'AN-related', including the fatigue, which is real and will be with you for some time, post-op, but eventually subsides. Playing word games with the tumor is common. Some folks prefer euphemisms for 'tumor', including giving the thing a name, i.e.
'George'. I just referred to it as my 'AN'. Still do, in fact, because that's what it is. I have no position on this and believe that whatever works ('AN', 'tumor', 'George' et al.) is fine.
Your doctor was correct regarding your hospital stay. 5 days is the norm. I was in the hospital for 5 days. Much of the first few days post-op are usually spent sleeping, napping and resting, if you get my drift. However, depending on your condition and your doctor's judgment, you could be out sooner. I was tempted to ask to be discharged early just to get away from daytime TV, but resisted the impulse.
Seriously, there are always lots of variables so just assume a 5 day stay and if it's less, all the better. It shouldn't be much more than that unless complications develop but with the good thoughts and prayers you'll be benefiting from, that shouldn't be a factor.
Being frightened is just proof that you're perfectly normal. Admitting it makes you as normal as a person can be. Honest too, an admirable trait. Pre-op, I wasn't exactly frightened but
definitely apprehensive. Still, like you, I had excellent family support, full confidence in my neurosurgeon and the prayers of many, many good people. They all combined to help me remain upbeat, even as my surgery day rapidly approached. One note of caution: the 'what-if's' will drive you crazy so try not to go there. If you can remain relatively positive and confident that you'll be O.K. (
this is how I felt) you'll likely do much better. Try to convey that assurance to your family. Yes, this is a serious operation but it's been performed thousands of times. It isn't fatal and the majority of AN patients experience good outcomes. In the weeks leading up to your surgery, I suggest that you try to do things you really enjoy, stay as fit as possible and look past the operation and recovery period and what you'll do, then. I employed this as a way to deal with anxiety, pre-op and the recovery period, that always seems to take too long, no matter how short it really is.
Your resolve to 'pay it forward' is admirable, too. Those of us who remain active on these forums long after our AN journey has effectively ended, receive a lot of pleasure in informing, advising and, most of all, supporting other AN patients. I know you will, too.
Jim 
