I am only 7 weeks post op and just now beginning to feel anything like my old self.. You don't mention what type of surgery you had, I had translab and the facial nerve had to be severed due to involvement of the tumor.. so I too encountered raw emotions after I "awoke" from the surgery. I even had two surgeries in 5 days,,, the right side of my face is numb, I don't smile like I did, my eye does not "work" like it did,, it has a gold weight in it to help it close , , my tongue is numb on one side,, and none of this was "supposed" to happen going into surgery although I knew it was a possibility... still does not make it any easier to accept.. one thing to keep in mind is your body is full of meds from hospital and anesthesia and possibly steroids and once those get out of your system you will feel much more like your old self.. it took me about three-four weeks to really feel much better. I believe, and I am not a Dr by any means,, but I think even your emotions will settle down in a few weeks. I remember the Dr telling me at discharge to remember that I would NOT always be like I was at that moment.. things would get better for me and I am sure it will for you. Also, I remember first time my husband took me out "in public" for dinner and I still to this day sit facing away from other customers, but I remember watching other people laugh and talk "normally" and I just started boo-hooing at the table.. cause I no longer "looked" that way nor did my face react that way.. it is better now,, I guess you just accept what you are facing at some point and start to move forward with a positive attitude that it WILL get better!
I hope you have family that is supportive and I agree a support group or even someone from the "willing to talk" list in your area would be most helpful for you right now.. PM me if you would like to talk or ask any questions and I will try to help...just remember that everything is so RAW right now and new,, and even though you don't think you can stand to wait any longer,, just take each day as it comes and get through it believing that it is better than yesterday.. Sorry you are dealing with a cold too,, that is not good, I hope that part is better too.. also be thankful and happy this Holiday season that you survived your surgery, have it behind you and are able to move forward and have that "dumb" thing out of your head!! That is how I survive bad days.... Best of luck to you, I remember just how you are feeling and it is hard to see a brighter side ,,, but it is there,, believe me!!! Jane
