Dragging my feet?

[MDemisay]

Hello All,

I have new information about my journey. As many of you know a regrowth is shocking news....Something that we all deal with differently for sure! Something like the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross steps of death.....or similar to that....denial,anger,bargaining, resentment, and eventually acceptance. Did I skip a couple it is hard to remember!

I am not dragging my feet here , am I? It's just dealing with this and making a choice between doing nothing (definetly NOT doing that) and Gamma Knife and Cyber Knife has been extremely difficult. My bent is toward Gamma Knife because I don't want to be repeatedly sick as I would be with the cyber knife solution.

Anyway, it's been a long time deciding on how to proceed, certainly my neurosurgeon Dr.Sisti thinks I could procede based on this slow growing tumor that I should definitely do it in the calendar year of 2012. However, with what I learned yesterday in Dr. Golfinos office was that why wait that long? He would do the Gamma Knife soon.

I have resolved in my self to get another opinion that of Dr. Kondzuilka and Dr. Flickinger. I am going to see them both at once since it's Pittsburg and I live in NYC. My wife thinks that we could wait until June to have me radiated with Gamma Knife. She would prefer me to have it with Dr. Sisti because she fears any complications that I might have and Dr.Sisti has said he wouldn't follow me if I had the procedure done elsewhere.
But Dr.Sisti gave a glowing recommendation to Dr. Kondzuilka and that helped me decide to follow up with him.

It's just hard to schedule all of this into the time that we have right now, because my daughter will graduate from college in May and my wife thinks that it would be hard for me to be in a wheelchair because the wheelchair accommodations have already been made. She feels that after my last surgery, I took a long time to recover and she doesn't trust that this will be different.

I feel like a burden on my wife already! We are attending the graduation in the Dunkin Donuts Arena in Providence,Rhode Island. I have been deciding since January, she thinks this (the radiation)should have been done already, she says that I have had 3 months and she has to move on with my daughter and her graduation plans.

If I trust my gut, I go with Dr. Kondzuilka.

What would you do?

Mike

[Jim Scott]

Mike ~

I would trust my gut.

Jim

[rays]

Mike,

This may sound a little simplistic, but last week when I was at HEI trying to decide if I should or shouldn't have surgery I did something that my dad always did. I took a piece of paper and put a vertical line down the middle. I then wrote the "pros" for surgery on one side and the "cons" on the other.

Doing this took a lot of the emotional stuff out of it and left me with the facts.

Once I saw it written out like that it became very clear that surgery was the way to go for me.

If that doesn't work... go with your gut.

Ray

[MDemisay]

Jim and Ray,

It doesn't sound simplistic at all! I plan to do it that way! In terms of confidence Dr. Sisti wins so far but that could change, in terms of distance and follow up Dr. Sisti is closer so he wins again and he wouldn't follow me if I were to be treated in Pittsburgh. I have to see......In terms of expertise Dr. Kondzuilka wins, because he taught Dr. Sisti and he purportedly did more CT scan imaging. At this point I'm on eggshells. I know I've said if I go with my gut.....but! Perhaps the deciding factor will be how many gy I get, so far Dr. Sisti has said he wants the lowest dose possible which he has said is 12gy........

It's driving me nuts! Soon, I'll be a basket case.....Too late, I've already named my AN!

Mike

[leapyrtwins]

I rank trust your gut as #1, but think that the pro/con list is also a good idea.

It's what I did when making my decision.  My gut was the deciding factor, but my pro/con list reinforced it.

Jan

[MDemisay]

Jan,

Thanks for your advice and prayers as well, you have been very supportive throughout this AN adventure, in fact all of you have, now I have to go home and do some packing, packing and some affirmations and try and get some sleep!

Mike

[Ned]

Mike, did you consider FSR?  If so, what did you determine were the disadvantages compared with CK or GK, other than having to commit to the 26 day regiment.

Good luck,
Ned

[MDemisay]

Ned,

No, I have not considered FSR treatment as it is lengthy and I would rather get it over in one shot! I am just a big baby, I suppose! I have committed to Gamma Knife either in NY Presbytarian with Dr. Sisti (because I live only an hour and a half away by car) or in Pittsburgh with Dr. Kondziolka which is an hour and a half away by jet.

Mike