I'm Back!!

[kixit]

My mom has one of those grabber things. It's like her 3rd arm..errr hand.

I have a question. I have had since surgery a moment or two where I just want to ball (and I have). Is this normal? I still have a lot to deal with (my job is in jeopardy without having the BAHA and I'm fighting Anthem over it) even though a successful surgery is over and my recovery is going well. I don't feel depressed or anything, I think I'm thinking too much and it infuriates me of what could be such simple resolutions is being so difficult to resolve. ARRGHHHH!!!

[lrobie]

I have not gone through the surgery yet, but I've heard people go through ups and downs after their surgery.  Heck, I've done it during the time I spent trying to make a decision.  Bawling can be good for you, but then try to think of the positives.  One might be that your insurance covered the AN surgery.  I can't imagine the people that have had to pay for it out of pocket.  Have you had any feedback from Anthem?  (sorry, I didn't go back and read all your posts to know for sure)

Lisa

[kixit]

Cochlear sent in the appeal paperwork to Anthem on my behalf the day after my surgery. I had written my own letter to Anthem for Cochlear to include. Cochlear said it could take 30 to 60 days. I have until July 30th for an approval or I will lose my job.

[LizAN]

Cochlear sent in the appeal paperwork to Anthem on my behalf the day after my surgery. I had written my own letter to Anthem for Cochlear to include. Cochlear said it could take 30 to 60 days. I have until July 30th for an approval or I will lose my job.

kixit,

What does the Americans with Disabilities Act say about this?  Is there no reasonable accommodation that can be made for your hearing loss?  Will you at least get disability pay?

I'm sorry you are going through that anxiety and frustration.

I'm concerned about my upcoming surgery and especially the fact that I have no disability insurance in place.  Not short-term, not long-term.  Nothing.  And I just went back to work in April after being unemployed for a couple of months, so money is already tight and now we have to make the trip to LA and I have to be off work again, for who knows how long.

I, too, break down and cry once in awhile.  Actually, fairly often.  I don't always bawl, sometimes I just shed a few tears, but I let myself do it.  It passes and then I can be positive again.

I am grateful that I have insurance coverage for the surgery.  I don't know what I would do without that.

Keep us posted on what Anthem says.  Fingers crossed for you!

Liz

[kixit]

@LizAN,

I am in public safety therefore I have to be able to hear from both sides. Anthem has said 3 different excuses: exclusion in policy, not medically necessary and they don't cover hearing aids. Sounds like Inkin', Blinkin' and Nod need to get together and go over policy before making a denial, lol.

If I don't get approval for the BAHA I will lose my current job but will be placed elsewhere within city government. I love my job (even after 5 1/2 years) and it would be devastating if I lost it.

Thanks for the well wishes and support! 

[leapyrtwins]

Feeling like you want to bawl is common; so is depression among us ANers.

It it doesn't get better in a few weeks, don't be afraid to seek help.

Jan

[kixit]

Jan,

While drifting off to sleep last I got the nerve to touch gently behind my ear to "feel" where the surgery had taken place. I felt a soft spot where bone had used to be. Tears flowed, just for a minute. I think just then it hit me- I had had brain surgery. All this time I had been focused on what happens past the surgery and what happens to my job and so on.

I don't  know what I had been processing in my mind the past 2 1/1 months about the surgery. I guess at that moment last night it hit me. Then I thought, I made it through the surgery, recovery is going well--no worries, let it go and I drifted off 

I went into work yesterday to get paperwork faxed to UVA for signatures so I can return to work on Monday. Just so happens it was time for yearly evals for my job. My supervisor couldn't believe I was sitting there bright eyed and well..a lot off balance. Anyway to make a long story short he told me that he was glad I was coming back but to take care of me and NOT worry about my job or anything. It will work out.

This is hilarious (but wasn't at the moment): I went to grab a bite to eat with 2 co-workers. I ordered my fast food, (the price being 6.19 for combo) I wanted the #11 but ordered #6.  When they brought me my food I said I didn't order this. I went back up to the counter--they showed me I ordered #6. Ding ding me was thinking the 6 in the price was the number. I felt like an idiot but my co-workers got a kick out of it!! 

[LizAN]

kixit,

That is funny, although I am sure that it was not when it first happened.

I'm already dingy and on anti-depressants, pre-surgery, so it's a little scary what I may be like afterward. 

I do have to say that I have done a LOT of work on my attitude over the last few years.  I used to get suicidal very easily and drag along like that for months at a time, despite medication  (I went through some serious back-to-back traumas a few years ago).  Now, when I start to spiral downward, I am able to catch myself.  I don't stay down for long these days.  The fact that I am going through this crisis without a major bout of depression is pretty amazing to me.  I have learned to take responsibility for what I tell myself.  It's not just our experiences that determine our emotions - it's our interpretation of them that can make the difference, in some cases, between life and death.

Okay, remind me of what I just said, if I spiral downward after surgery. 

Liz