HELP! GETTING MARRIED THIS YEAR AND HAVE SSD FEARS!

[sarahinPA]

I am getting married this year (novemeber 10th) and I have horrible fears about greeting my guests and being SSD.

Usually, i have no problem saying, "excuse me, I am deaf in this ear" and people always repeat themselves and we go on our merry way. But, my deaf side is the right side; where most people lean into when they hug you. I normally get nervous at parties and such when I know ill have to say "what" or "excuse me" alot, but this situation is terrifying me! Most of our family knows im deaf, but people forget, of course. Im mostly worried about my receiving line, and the hugs, as well as the bridal dance, when everyine hugs me, dances around and of course says something nice.
I feel so bad that theres a good chance I wont hear any of the guests congratulations and kind words.

any thoughts, or suggestions? anyone else get nervous when they have to be in busy places with lots of people?!

[Jim Scott]

Sarah ~

First, congratulations on your impending nuptials! 

I'm SSD and don't chose to use a BAHA or other aid, so I know exactly how you feel.  Busy social gatherings can be daunting.  You may not care for this suggestion but there are pins available from the ANA store (only $5,00) that indicate you are deaf on your right (or left) side. http://www.anausa.org/index.php/about-ana/patient-information-booklets?page=shop.browse&category_id=2 They are quite tasteful and might be a help to those who forget or don't know you are SSD.  I realize that you may not want to attach a pin to your wedding gown but I believe it is a way to 'work around' what could be an awkward situation.  I'm sure others will have additional suggestions.

Jim

[MDemisay]

Bravo Jim,

I was going to suggest that (pin), but sure enough, you beat me to it! Quick draw Jim! Good one!

Mike

[james e]

You can always lean towards your right, forcing them towards your left if you wish to not wear a pin. A good sales person can usually guide a sale...give it a try! Practice on your friends.

James

[mk]

Sarah,

congratulations on your marriage.
Although I have adjusted well to SSD, I did find it embarrassing that I couldn't tell when someone is talking to me on the deaf ear. I found that the Cros hearing aid is quite helpful in these situations. It is very discreet, and people can't tell that I am wearing it, unless I point it out. You can have a 60-90 day trial if you want to try it out. On the downside, it is not very effective in very noisy situations, but you can turn the volume down if needed.

Marianna

[Kathleen_Mc]

For the recieving line have the people come through the line approaching you on you good ear! might mean going the opposite way to the way you think it should go but then people are approaching you on the functioning ear side and by nature maybe they'll be more likely to talk on that side!
I have found, over the years, if people want to be heard they'll make sure they are.
Also rely on your, to be, husband to help you through this, your "hearing aid" so to speak!
Kathleen

[kareno]

Sarah,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  I agree with moving the receiving line and have it follow through with your good ear.  This is your special day and it should not cause you stress.  My husband always puts his good ear forward as well and this has helped him.  Enjoy!!

Karen 

[pjb]

I too started to write that yesterday to switch the line to the other side with your good ear and then was going to research it as to why if that is proper or some kind of good luck thing as to why it is always on the right as people are leaving but then I lost my train of thought and forgot to research...Sorry.

Best Wishes,

[lrobie]

Hi Sarah,

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.  A couple of things come to mind with your question...opt not to have a receiving line or put a little blurb in your wedding program about your SSD.  I know the second suggestion may not be a great idea, but I'm guessing that you will also have problems hearing at the reception.  Make a poem out of it thanking people for sharing your day (in case they feel like you've ignored their congrats).

Lisa

[sarahinPA]

thank you everyone for your suggestions! I am going to take them all into consideration! Ive got some time to think about how to approach this, but sometimes when you talk with someone who is not SSD they say "oh it will be fine, or dont worry" but they really have no idea that we CANT hear them!

I try to make light of the situation at all times, but it can be frustrating, like today, one of my employees was yelling across the lawn over 3 noisy pool pumps. i just smiled, and walked to the other side, and said, im sorry i couldnt hear you. HAHA he knows im deaf!! I think people forget so easily because its not a visable disability.

Thank you again everyone!!!

[Jim Scott]

I think people forget so easily because its not a visable disability.

Thank you again everyone!!!

You're welcome, Sarah.

I just wanted to mention that I think you hit upon the reason our family and friends seem to 'forget' that we're SSD; (a) just as you stated, our SSD isn't visible and, (b) because we can hear - and often quite well (up close) their perception is that we're not really 'deaf' e. g. "I was just talking to her (up close) and she heard me just fine".

Thanks for your astute observation.

Jim