Any advice for family?

[mrsc08]

My dad is going in August for his surgery.

Just wanted some advice from people who have had surgery...what can we do before, during, & after surgery to help him.

Or any experiences you would like to share would be nice.

Thanks~

[TJ]

I have did not have surgery, I had CK instead.  But let me just say the one thing you can do for your dad is:

Support  Support Support

He is going to have many different feelings, and will have some good days and some bad, just be there for him and try to understand what he is going through.

Best of luck

TJ

[MDemisay]

Dear mrsc08,

Welcome to the forum!
Hi as I am a former surgery patient (8 years ago) I can tell you that it was good to have a family that supported me in the weeks, months and years that came after.

 You would be advised to spell yourselves. If there are many of you it goes better. Designate days or visits on a voluntary basis then you can lessen them as time goes by. Designate tasks such as the purchase of supplies, home care (assistance to the bathroom), and up stairs (if you have them) can be daunting sometimes.

Make clear to your hospital discharge coordinator who will be there to support him, if there are stairs how many, if there are side rails going up stairs and that they need to be on both sides.

As TJ said support, support and support.

Glad to meet you. I am as far away as your computer. Please it is good to have family that cares. Come back often.


Mike

[leapyrtwins]

Support and patience.

I know that during my post op recovery I was frustrated by things I thought I could do, but couldn't (for a time).  Recovery can be one step forward and two steps back at times; patience is key - and I don't have a lot of that 

My caregivers - parents & older sister - had to put up with my moods on occasion.

Try to keep a sense of humor.

Jan

[Chances3]

Dear MRSC08,

Welcome to this forum.  I hope your dad uses it.  He will find it filled with very caring and understanding people.  As his recovery progresses, he might have some questions that people on this site might be able to answer, or advise him where to get those answers.

I was operated on 20 months ago.  No two recoveries are the same.  Your dad is going to need a lot of understanding from his love ones and from friends.  I hope your dad has a speedy and successful recovery, but for many of us here, we still suffer from many issues, be it balance, hearing, fatigue and comprehension.  For many of us, we look fine, but no one understands how we are suffering internally.  I hope that is not the case for your dad, but if it is, please have enormous patience and understanding.  Brain surgery is very challenging.  And finally, when you are driving him somewhere - take it easy on the pedals.  His balance system needs to recover, a heavy foot is brutal on a recovering AN patient. 

Keep us posted.

[Tod]

My favorite post-surgery story is this. After 32 hours of surgery and two weeks in ICU, I went home, weak and staggering. The ride home was almost nightmarish from my perspective. When I slid out of the truck and staggered along the sidewalk, my left hand on the bushes to keep a local vertical, I was soon standing in front of five steps to the front door. I had only been out of bed for five days and had precious little strength and all the way home had worried about how, even if, I could climb those steps. My wife went around me, up the steps, and held the door open.

And waited.

She did what she does as a special ed teacher and waited until I asked for help. Which I did not. That was what I needed, and wanted.

While your father will need help, it is important to respect his need for independence. Don't necessarily be in a rush to do everything for him, communicate with him to find his needs, particularly the balance he wants and needs.

I hope this is helpful,

Tod

[mrsc08]

Thanks so much for the advice.

I pray for a speedy and easy recovering since I'll be running the family business while he is out. Will definitely keep all this in mind.

[Alan Goldberg]

My wife had surgery 3 years ago.  Them most important thing to remember is patience, reassurance and support.

After surgery it takes some time to get back again - hearing and balance may be different and while they will recover, they need time to adjust.  Physical therapy and some counseling may help (for you too!)

 Reassure the patient that you're there for support - encourage them to do as much as they can for themselves but be there to help them get back to a normal routine.  It will happen.

support them by attending a local ANA support group in your area.  The support group is a great way to meet other AN patients, watch and wait and family members who give great advice and show you that it will be ok!

You're now part of a new family!

Good luck

[wwarr]

Mrsc08,                                                                                                                                                                                                     I wish your family the best and your dad with his upcoming surgery.  Being understanding and supportive of the upcoming changes is helpful.  Just be patient and let him heal at his own pace.

My daughter made a scrapbook of my friends and families words of encouragement and surprised me with it the morning of my brain surgery.  She evidently collected them on a facebook page.  She would read me them while I was healing.  It was a neat idea.  It is wonderful that you are helping him with the business while he is having surgery.  That is a big service you are doing for him.  I'm sure that is a relief for him.  Please let us know how he does and if you need anything!
Best wishes and good luck!
Wendy