24 hours post-op

[CupcakeQueen83]

My husband was diagnosed on Saturday, had his translab surgery all day Tuesday, and we've just hit 24 hours post-op.  He's 40 years old and otherwise very healthy/active, so I know this recovery process is going to be frustrating for him, at least in the beginning. 

I am also trying to keep myself together.  I'm kind of beside myself seeing him in so much pain.  So any advice on what I should be doing for him/with him over these next few days/weeks/months would be very much appreciated.  I feel like I've done my research (sitting all day in an ICU gives you time for that), but I know I can learn so much more from your experiences.  Thanks in advance!

[Suu]

Hiya Cupcake
The best advice that I can give is for you to believe everthing he says unconditionally.  That may sound strange at first but it's the thing that was missing in some of my recovery and everyone around me was waiting for me to be normal again.

I am normal. A new normal 

Hugs never go astray either.

If you show him this site he'll soon see that no matter what he may go through (good or bad) as a postie, he'll see that it's normal.

I love you for coming here to help yourself to help him. That's a very caring thing to do.

Hugs to you as well.
Suu xxoo

[Kathleen_Mc]

Listening.....very important to listen to what he says you can do to help, take clues from him.
Silence......at this time a lot of noise can be very agitating, just sit quietly, I think sometimes people think they always need to talk...not always the case.
A back rub always feels nice, hospital beds are not that comfortable and nurses don't have time for such things anymore (I know, I'm a nurse).
If he wants to be active remember if he pushes himself too hard he will have a set back, again take clues from him.
I remember in hospital it was nice just having someone there. Once I was home having company in limited amounts was nice, as long as it was just one or two people at a time and for shirt periods each day. I was happy once I could get out and walk, of cource I had to be escorted for the first wee while.
Just a few suggestions.
Kathleen

[Blags]

I am 1 week post op retro sigmoid today. Within a day or two he will feel better. First 48 suck-lots of Iv drugs for me for icu did it. The excruciating headache from having head in vice so so many hours it the real cause of pain. By 4 days I was only regular Tylenol only. Was lucky to preserver hearing but my vestibular nerve was severed and feel like on carousel all day. It will get better as he can move. Give him love and support. Keep things simple and quiet first few days. Honestly once out of hospital life is better bc no one waking/bothering u. You both will make it through it. My prayers are with you.

[Cheryl R]

The first couple weeks are the hardest and one can be scared they are going to feel that way forever!    It does get better.  I know from exerience that one should not over  push yourself just to prove that there is a normal life again.      There is and may or may not have to be a few adjustments.   It is hard later when one looks so normal again but it doesn't always feel that way.     One can have a good day and then a couple bad days and happens to all of us.    Feel free to ask us here all the questions you want.      I wish you both well!                     Cheryl R

[MatthewLH]

Cupcake,

I am 17 days Post-Op from Translab with a large AN, and was (am) a fairly healthy/active 42 year old male.  I believe being younger and starting in better health than the majority of AN patients set me up for a stronger and quicker recovery (still ongoing) than is typical.   Your husband sounds like he is equally "blessed."

I posted a what I wish I knew before surgery Post yesterday which may give a little insight to you on what your Husband is going through.   He did just have major surgery, and "brain surgery" at that, so expect him to need time both in and out of the hospital to work his way back.  It is also emotionally challenging because he (and you) don't know the post surgery hurdles he has to heal from and work to overcome.  Mentally not being able to prepare for that was the hardest part for me and may also be for him.  I'll hope for the best but take what I get, but I would like to have some time to mentally get ready for it.  Unfortunately, that is not how AN surgery works.

I was home from the hospital for 3-4 days when my Dad said I seemed to be "back".  He said I was more zombie like prior and I was now conversational and engaging.   What I didn't tell him is that I was always mentally back (my mind actually raced constantly) but that it took effort to look, talk, converse, have too many inputs and engage with people, and that all I wanted to do was use that energy to rest and heal.   Not make him feel better about me.   With losing the inner ear in Translab the brain has to rewire the eyes, balance, processing etc, so on top of the surgical incisions things seem a little like input overload initially.   Our bodies/brains are amazing things and incrementally this will improve, but it is initially pretty overwhelming on top of everything else.

One thing my post didn't mention is that you should let people help you and your family.  Family, friends etc want to help and while I had my sister and parents in town, this also meant there were 3 new mouths to feed and still 2 young kids (5 and 7) to get places.   Let people bring dinner to the family, help take kids to sports, or just skip a practice or game, and make the normal daily burdens less so.   The people helping will feel good about themselves and you will feel blessed to have the help and support.

Like they say everyones experience is different, but in a  few days your Husband will be at home kissing you (maybe kids ?) goodnight, and the tumor that was working it's way to killing him will be gone.   Regardless of what other bumps in the road he must overcome, that is a wonderful blessing.

[It is what it is]

He is fortunate to have you. 

karen