Author Topic: My AN journey and everyone here will help  (Read 5702 times)

cathyroe

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My AN journey and everyone here will help
« on: December 16, 2013, 06:28:08 pm »
For those new, or trying to decide, and also for those who have knowledge and experience, I hope to open a discussion and also journal some information that took me quite a while to collect. I came to this forum feeling isolated, confused and pretty scared. Everyone here has been extremely supportive and kind.
 The thing you read over and over is  “do your research” and “everyone is unique”. True... but below are some things I think may be helpful no matter how unique we all are.

The journey of being diagnosed with an AN begins the moment you hear the words. It’s been a year now since I was confirmed to “be in the club no body wants to be in” and there is a long way to go. But I have discovered some things that hopefully if by sharing here will save people not as far along the AN path a little time and trouble;  Things like doctors, who are some of the best and where are they? And fatigue, is there any remedy? And that wonky feeling, can it be helped? And tinnitus, is there any relief? And also things like confusion, fear, isolation. Not that I have all the answers by ANY means, but I have discovered some tidbits that work for me, and I realize may ONLY work for me, but just in case someone else can find an iota of relief from my findings, here goes.

I might mention I am currently “watching and waiting” but that may change soon.

Tinnitus - In May, mine sounded like a freight train, or someone blowing a whistle in my ear 24/7. I couldn’t meditate or say a prayer or go inward in any manner. Too LOUD. I went to the ANA symposium in August and Dr. Richard Wiet gave a lecture on Tinnitus with this profound tip: Sleep.  Actually, I found the topic of “SLEEP” came up over and over again at the symposium. So I started sleeping more  and I mean LOTS more. Like 10 - 11 - even 12 hours a night. Anyone that wanted to criticize or roll their eyes at this lifestyle change could just “talk to the hand” because it is ME going crazy from the noise, and I ignored the “how can you go to bed at 7 pm?”  (I don’t have children which I realize would make this impossible) Within a few weeks, the tinnitus was about half as loud. Now I have days where I can actually ignore it for a few hours at a time. I would say it is even “mild” first thing in the morning. (after lots of sleep). 

Other things that help are ear plugs, I never let anything LOUD enter my head through my AN ear! Hair dyers, vacuum cleaner, my husband’s baritone voice and especially the loud music at the gym all get filtered through a little tan/flesh colored spongy earplug that you can get at Walgreens.

Stress- Guided Meditation. I can’t meditate on my own. My mind goes absolutely everywhere and ends up in some gutter of stress and problem solving. But I discovered Guided Meditation podcasts and recordings available on itunes. My favorite (and they are free podcasts on itunes) is Mary Maddux with Meditation Oasis. You can download them right on your iphone, ipod, etc. Every afternoon I get very tired around 2:00, I lay down and listen to Mary’s guided meditations for at least 45 minutes. I must say, I am renewed afterwards. I feel rested and have a little reserve of energy restored. There are many Guided Meditations to choose from on itunes and other places. Just google “Guided Meditations” an tons are available for download free or purchase.

Fatigue - it could be the stress, it could be the tumor, it could be “fill in the blank” with whatever, but mine was so real that I couldn’t stay up for more than a few hours and thought maybe I had chronic fatigue.(before I found out about the AN) I felt like I had a hangover everyday. The first thing I discovered was a little packet called Emergen-C. It’s 1000 mg of vitamin C, and also folic acid and B vitamins. I noticed I felt a little better about an hour after taking a packet in water, I upped it to 2-3 a day (spread out) and I started noticing some improvement. I got the Emergen C at Whole foods, but you can get it on Amazon. Still felt “hungover-ish” and exhausted most of the time, though.
I make a protein shake every morning, and have for years, but I started adding more to it. I buy Ultra Energy Shake from Amazon with 25 grams of protein.  I always put in blueberries, banana, apple, raw spinach, flax seeds for Omega 3, chia seeds for energy,  and believe it or not... my new best discovery.... a teaspoon of meta-musal. The stress and worry is very, well.... you know. Constipation on top of everything else is utterly uncomfortable.  At least I fixed that!
Still experiencing fatigue, even with all this, I said a serious prayer to please be guided to a solution so I could find the daily strength to work, and also to research my AN. I got the idea to get a facial during a prayer. While at my facial,  I told the esthetician I was really stressed out and tired, I felt exhausted and headachy most every day.
Now this sounds so much like a “commercial” that I am reluctant to even say it, but she told me she couldn’t get through her work week without her Juice Plus. I inwardly raised an eyebrow and rolled my eyes and thought skeptical thoughts. But as I lay there, I thought... “I’ll try anything”. She gave me a week’s worth of her own stash (the chewables). I actually felt better in about 3 days. So now I have been taking them for three weeks and the difference is astonishing. A grizzly bear couldn’t wrestle them away from me. I think it is helping, and definitely the answer to that prayer.
Another tip came from my family doctor yeas ago when I complained of fatigue. She told me to boil anything with bones (beef or chicken) and make a broth. I have found I always feel much better the days I drink the broth. I buy Organic whole chicken, boil it for at least 5 hours, strain it, use the meat and make soups. It helps me enormously.

Exercise - In know... hard when you feel dizzy or “wonky”. I have been a professional dancer all my life, and teach ballet, jazz, yoga, all forms of exercise. I think that is why I don’t have balance issues. But I definitely DO have “wonky” issues. Exercise is a fix for me. Especially Yoga. Cardio is a must at least a few times a week, and coupled with the Yoga, it seems to make the “wonky” feeling subside.

Research - Uhhhgg!... just approaching the research and reading google, forums, you name it... makes me feel faint and my “frighten factor” go in to orbit. It’s scary, all you can learn. But we all know we have to do it. In my next blog I’ll start with what I have learned about Docs, where they are, who are the ones whose names I find come up a lot in positive sounding outcomes that people post, what happened when I contacted them, and who is on my “still to contact” list.

Again, none of this is advice! It is just an account of what has happened on my own journey, and an account I wish I could have found somewhere a year ago just to get some insight in to what direction an AN perusal might demand.

Prayers and best wishes to all who are here, and in the light of the season, may I say “God bless us, every one”.
11/02/12  Diagnosed with AN  11mm X 5mm
05/29/13  MRI reports no change, stable
11/20/13  MRI reports 13mm X 7mm X5mm
5/20/14 MRI reports 14mm x 8 mm x 6 mm
7/29/14 GK at UPMC Lunsford. Now a Postie Toastie
1/14/15 Six Month MRI growth. 16mm X 8 mm
11/09/15  16 mm X 9 mm
9/15/16   17 mm x 11 mm x 8

terisandler

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2013, 07:03:47 pm »
I'll take my chicken soup with matzoh balls, please!  :D 

All kidding aside, I think sharing some of the positives, or at least the things that help us individually on our AN journeys, is a great way to channel the downside of the diagnosis into something helpful.  Since I cannot change the fact that I have an AN, I think it is much more productive to focus on the things that help me rather than how crappy I feel.
3/25/13- dx 18x11x14 mm AN, hearing loss in right ear x 5+ years, 5 sessions of CK completed May 2013, now a "post toastie".  Follow up MRI 4/14/14 - 15x19x11 mm. Stable with some signs of necrosis.
 Yippee!

luvzmutt

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2013, 08:58:43 pm »
Cathy,

I've never listened to a meditation podcast before.  There are a lot of the meditation oasis ones, is there one or two in particular you recommed?
Right side AN diagnosed 7/10 - 6.1 mm x 7.8 mm
1st follow-up MRI 1/10/11 - 0.9 x 0.3 x 0.4 cm
2nd follow-up MRI 7/11/11 - 1.0 x 0.7 x 0.6 cm
Follow-Up 12/20/11 - no noticeable change
MRI 11/26/12 - .5x1.0x.6 cm
MRI 10//21/13 - 0.8 x 1.0 x 0.7
Some hearing loss AN side and tinnitus
NF1 & optic glioma

joanna_an

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will Help
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2013, 04:59:58 am »
Yes, I would like to agree with cardio exercises.. In October, when I was diagnosed I was very dizzy, like walking on a boat. I was basically stumbling in my aerobic class.. But I kept active, swimming, walking and aerobic classes and the dizziness went away in less than 2 weeks.. Balance is almost perfect.. I tend to not walk in perfect line if i look to the sides... Or I tend to hit the person walking along with me :) They make fun of me.. "Are you trying to hold my hand?" :) But these are minor issues and I am fine with them.. I still haven't done a treatment but I think I'll go for surgery cause I am young, 31 years old.. Moral of the story is: keep active!
31 years old female
Left AN 18x16x13mm diagnosed on the 17th of October 2013
21mm on the 19th of February 2014
Hearing loss, tinnitus
SRT 12th March 2014

cathyroe

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2013, 07:07:40 am »
Thanks everyone for your replies and input!
There are lots of guided meditation podcasts on itunes (free) but the one I like is from mediation oasis, the woman who guides the meditation is Mary Maddux. I find her voice really comforting and I like her messages.  She has a website as well, you can check her out at www.meditationoasis.com
Here is the page with her free guided meditations.  Just click on the topic and it plays! Mary can't possibly know what a huge help and blessing she is in day.

www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/

Okay Teri, I am boiling a chicken right now! Ready for soup?
11/02/12  Diagnosed with AN  11mm X 5mm
05/29/13  MRI reports no change, stable
11/20/13  MRI reports 13mm X 7mm X5mm
5/20/14 MRI reports 14mm x 8 mm x 6 mm
7/29/14 GK at UPMC Lunsford. Now a Postie Toastie
1/14/15 Six Month MRI growth. 16mm X 8 mm
11/09/15  16 mm X 9 mm
9/15/16   17 mm x 11 mm x 8

Echo

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2013, 11:34:30 am »
Great post Cathy!!

I especially agree with getting lots of rest and sleep.  Makes a big difference for me. Without enough rest all my symptoms and issues become intensified.  I do a 10 to 15 minute guided meditation every day at noon with my i-pod and it works wonders.  If I try and get through my work day without taking that little rest at noon, then I'm pretty much out of steam between 3 and 4 p.m.

Cathie
Diagnosed: June 2012, right side AN 1.8cm
June 2013: AN has grown to 2.4 cm.
Gamma Knife: Sept. 11, 2013 Toronto Western Hospital

MDemisay

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2013, 03:21:59 pm »
Dear Cathy,

Keep up the good work! It certainly helps others to be positive about our AN diagnosis! Journaling it will certainly help! It helped me as well! It helps to pay particular attention to your YELLOW FLAGS (they mean slow down). I blogged about it( look up THE YELLOW FLAGS) unfortunately quite early in my life I suffered a stroke which left me partially paralized on my right side I never fully recovered as a result my bones in my right hand became brittle from lack of use which is why they were so easy to break when I fell.

It is certainly easy to cop an attitude of why is this happening to me at this point in my life?

 The point is by sharing with each other what works and what doesn't in a forum like this with so many people on line to support you, you can easilly feel comforted.

Don't settle for injuries or breaking bones as I did( I broke all of my fingers in my right hand twice) over many months before I realized that this wasn't normal that I had a severe balance problem.

 Over the years my wife and I had been to rock concerts and I thought I was becoming deaf on one side because of standing too close to the speakers, when I went for my hearing test the doctor prescribed a hearing aid without the proper hearing exam! Fortunately, or unfortunately I lost my first hearing aid that triggered another hearing test and that is how I discovered my AN. Unfortunately for me, it sent me into a panic. I explored and researched without the benefit of this forum.

 A most lonely journey of 6 months! after what seemed like ages interviewing 14 doctors from around the country, I had my AN operation in 2004 around Thankgiving and I began a long journey back to near normalcy. Walking with a cane having a difficult time walking in the dark (something I never do now) nightlights are your friend and being totally deaf in my left ear. I thought everything was near normal until my AN started growing again in 2011. I procrastinated about the doctor I wanted but I eventually went back to Dr. Sisti at NY Presybeterian to have the Gamma Knife procedure.

All I can say is use this site as a fountain of information. and use us indidually! While we can all commiserate with you (because we are in various stages of discovery ourselves) we cannot experience it for you.....that you have to do for yourself as all watcher and waiters do. Unfortunately, I did not get the benefit of watch and wait by the time it was discovered my AN "Irving" had already grown too large to do anything else than operate. Then early in 2012 I discovered the Acoustic Neuroma Association and this wonderful website!!!

It helps to keep aware of your balance, that you are an exercise teacher is particularly good as you probably have a toned body, you are already one up on many people here. Remember your YELOW FLAGS. I was extremely fortunate to receive more than my fair share of them.

Good luck with your journey, unfortunately, as they say in an old song "you've only just begun......." Stick with it and research, research, research. It helps at this point if you are faithful.

The good news is that you will survive this, it's going to be a "long and winding road" to coin another song. But it will help as you have many helpful souls (including me) to guide you along the way as I have had.

Welcome to the club that no one wants to belong to! I was a member of the post-op club after surgery and am now a member of the Postie Toasies (those who have had focused radiation to their once regrowing tumors). Now after helping many people I am what they call a Hero Member (although I certainly don't feel like it).

It helped me immensely to give my neuroma a disgusting name, that way I objectified it and made it smaller as I waited for my surgery, after surgery it became "Ir" it grew a little and became "Irv", after radiation it silenced and became "DEAD IRV"

One day you too will be able "to pay-it-forward" by documenting your journey in a journal, you will be helping countless newbies. Thank you for volunteering, you can IM me anytime.

Mike
1974 - Dr. Michelson  Colombia Presbyterian removal of 3 Arterio Venous Malformations
2004- Dr. Sisti  NY Presbyterian subtotal removal of 3.1 cm AN,
2012 - June 11th Dr. Sisti Gamma Knife (easy-breasily done)"DEAD IRV" play taps!
Research, research, research then decide and trust in God's Hands!

terisandler

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2013, 09:14:28 pm »
I'll bring the matzoh balls, Cathy.
3/25/13- dx 18x11x14 mm AN, hearing loss in right ear x 5+ years, 5 sessions of CK completed May 2013, now a "post toastie".  Follow up MRI 4/14/14 - 15x19x11 mm. Stable with some signs of necrosis.
 Yippee!

TexasSprinter

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2013, 09:46:57 pm »
Cathy--Thanks for sharing. Information like this is very helpful. I discovered the ANA Forum 1 year ago and very much appreciate the free flow of information, which has helped me tremendously on my AN journey.

cathyroe

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2014, 04:19:42 pm »
Okay... on with my blog.
I know, especially for the newbie, how at a loss one feels when the task of finding a physician to treat your AN becomes necessary. It’s like the search never leaves your psyche, day or night. The research is stressful, I think, because you are hyper focused on your AN the whole time, and that is many, many MANY hours.

Every day, for many years, I’ve said a prayer that God will surround me with incredible people that will make me better spiritually, professionally, physiologically, emotionally. Now I add “make me better physically” , and I mean it literally. I search and search for the right doctors and visualize them surrounding me and saying “I think you will breeze right through radiation” and/or  “your surgery was a slam dunk.”

I am blogging my perusal in hopes of easing anyone else’s stress in any way. A name, an address, a tidbit that might resonate.

From the start:

I had a very good ENT, Dr. Douglas Leipert  in South Bend, IN. I say he’s good because I went to him thinking I just needed some wax build up taken out of my ear (hearing loss) and he nailed it as an AN that very visit. He gave me a hearing test, looked at the results ( I still had 88% and could hear okay ) and said he suspected an AN, sent me straight to an MRI.  No messing around; so many people take years to get diagnosed properly. Dr. L sent me to Dr. Michael Disher, a board-certified neurotologist at Indiana Ear in Fort Wayne, IN. 

Dr. Disher and Dr. Chang, Fort Wayne Indiana

I find Dr. Disher extremely easy to talk to, very calming and caring. Dr. Disher told me my three options. (you know what they are) and I decided to watch and wait. He agreed. Dr. Disher’s advise to me, now that I have seen him three times during watch and wait, is to continue to wait. He said my tumor is still “small” and my symptoms are not severe. He suggested that rushing in to a choice of radiation or surgery isn’t necessary at this point, and he told me that he has a colleague at Ohio State that is working on a medication that would shrink ANs. He suggested that I try to relax and stop stressing so much, that my stress was probably my worst symptom. I agree with that! Thus, I find Dr. Disher to be “conservative”. I like him very much. But.... I think I need to explore treatment. He told me in that case, he thought I would do well with cyber knife. His office made an appointment for me with Dr. Brian Chang
at a graduate of Johns Hopkins University and Tufts University School of Medicine.  Dr. Chang has been at Radiation Oncology Associates at Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne since 2007. Dr. Chang must be very busy, I couldn’t get an appointment until February. I’ll let you know.... In the meantime, here is Dr. Chang talking about Cyber Knife

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw1qqN5hR34

Dr. Brown and Dr. Hass, Winthrop Hospital, Long Island NY

My first “interview” with a doctor and radiologist was in Long Island, NY.  I heard of a doc through a friend that is a brilliant neurosurgeon and director of cyber knife at Winthrop Hospital in Long Island. Here is a link:

http://www.winthrop.org/departments/clinical/cyberknife/physician.cfm?jeffrey-brown


I found Dr. Brown to be as brilliant as his reputation (in the short 20 minute meeting I had with him at his Long Island office). Dr. Brown told me that he recommends cyber knife, and he does BOTH GK and CK, and preferred CK for me. When I asked about surgery is said “no, I do not recommend surgery for you!”
I asked if I should watch and wait and he said “why? why have this hanging over your head? Get it over with!” He said he wanted me to meet his “team” and sent me over to Winthrop Hospital where I met Dr. Hass, the radiologist that works with Dr. Brown. Loved Dr. Hass. He once again went over my options, and told me that “you can still watch and wait, your tumor is small”. And he added “ but if you decide on cyber knife, we will take very good care of you.”

I liked the team of Dr. Hass and Dr. Brown at Winthrop University Hospital. My hesitation in choosing this team is:
My insurance covers Dr. Hass but not Dr. Brown
Long Island and Winthrop Hospital are not easy to travel to from Michigan. The travel involves planes, subways, trains, hotels that are not close to the hospital.
Most importantly, Dr. Brown is a brilliant, wonderful doctor and specializes in brain tumors, facial pain, Neurosurgery and Cyber Knife. But his specialty is not the treatment of ANs. When I asked him how many he had treated, he said “about a dozen”. I was hoping he would say “about a thousand”.  Still, if my insurance covered Dr. Brown, I might choose to go to Winthrop. I immediately trusted him and Dr. Hass, too.

This is my doc search up until July. Lots more to come, but I’ll post this to get started. Next up... I sent out 8 packets (My MRI and all hearing tests) to the most well respected, AN experienced docs I could find, many of them supposedly review for free. Hmmmm... I’ll tell you how all that is going next!

Have a wonderful weekend and here is something funny..... my cell phone was ringing a few minutes ago, but I thought it was my ear ringing so I didn’t answer it. :) But yep, there is a message saying “missed call”.
11/02/12  Diagnosed with AN  11mm X 5mm
05/29/13  MRI reports no change, stable
11/20/13  MRI reports 13mm X 7mm X5mm
5/20/14 MRI reports 14mm x 8 mm x 6 mm
7/29/14 GK at UPMC Lunsford. Now a Postie Toastie
1/14/15 Six Month MRI growth. 16mm X 8 mm
11/09/15  16 mm X 9 mm
9/15/16   17 mm x 11 mm x 8

terisandler

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Re: My AN journey and everyone here will help
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2014, 06:38:44 pm »
Cathy, what is Dr Brown's specialty and is there a specialist in the same field nearby who does what he does?  Dr Crawford at Parkview Oncology is not in my network but the closest radiation oncologist in network is located in Indianapolis.  My insurance covered him as a network provider due to their policy of treating out-of-network providers as in-network providers if there is no doctor in  the same specialty within 50 miles of the insured's home.  Thankfully, Dr Crawford's office accepted the in-network discounted payment without holdin me responsible for the balance. 

Another thought - frequently a doctor not listed in the network has the claim submitted under the name of a network provider in the same practice.  You might want to explore these options unless you don't think you're up to the planes, trains, and automobiles schlep out there.
3/25/13- dx 18x11x14 mm AN, hearing loss in right ear x 5+ years, 5 sessions of CK completed May 2013, now a "post toastie".  Follow up MRI 4/14/14 - 15x19x11 mm. Stable with some signs of necrosis.
 Yippee!