Well, just like many others I received my denial letter for disability. They did state that they understand I have limitations that mean I can't resume operating my bakery, but I have the abilities to do retail work, such as I did five years ago for a year while recovering from a different surgery. However, there are two problems with that: 1, I can't stand-up for eight hours a day; and 2, I live in a very small town of 800 and we're lucky to have a tiny grocery store let alone a retail shop. The nearest town with commerce is 125 miles away.
I've been working since the age of 13, and I've never collected assistance. I thought things like disability benefits were there when you needed them, but I guess that's not reality.
It's really too bad because I was just coming to grips about accepting I can't handle my bakery this season (March - November). In fact, while making some things for dinner last night I remarked to myself how ridiculously dizzy I get just baking squash and potatoes. I thought, "Okay, this is ridiculous. You need to accept getting disability and concentrating on going to Salt Lake City (6-hours each way) to get the vestibular therapies I need to get pass this point of my recovery."
Now I feel defeated. I don't know how I'm going to be able to make trips to SLC without a little more money coming in. My husband is almost 70 and works part-time, fortunately at a job he loves.
In a town with so few opportunities, there is a part-time job at our little Post Office and a part-time job as a Victim's Assistant. I didn't know we had crime in town, so I don't know how many hours a victim's assistant would require, but I'd probably have to be able to drive 75-miles to the county seat, and I can't handle that type of driving. I honestly don't think I can handle any of these jobs, but I have to do something.
I don't want to let this defeatist attitude get me down, but I think I'm going to allow myself to be worried today, and in the words of Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day!" I plan on getting back to my normal attitude, if not my normal physical state.
I know in my gut that I need PT and OT to get better. My daily walks and mental activities are not doing enough for me. I don't understand why some therapies can't be done with Skype--it's technology that can be used today, so why not us it?
Thank you for letting me feel bad here. I'm an example of not getting post-op therapies, so schedule those appointments right away.
I am excited that I'm scheduled to get my eyelid weight and lower lid stitch on February ninth. That will be a step in the right direction.
