Author Topic: Nicer? The same? Meaner?  (Read 4842 times)

mcrue

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Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« on: September 29, 2016, 08:35:13 am »
I've read stories of people who have undergone Bariatric surgery and lost hundreds of pounds only for some of them to become "meaner" people after they lost all that weight.

I know AN's are completely different and this is comparing apples with oranges; however, I was wondering how you would rate yourself after your AN treatment has been resolved/completed?
Or even simply just after being diagnosed with an AN, and/or living with an AN.

How has it changed you, if at all?

Nicer?
The same?
Meaner?


« Last Edit: September 29, 2016, 08:42:15 am by mcrue »
5/19/2015 - 40% sudden hearing loss + tinnitus right ear

6/26/2015 - AN diagnosed by MRI - 14mm x 7mm + 3mm extension

8/26/2015 - WIDEX "ZEN" hearing aid for my catastrophic tinnitus

12/15/2015: 18mm x 9mm + 9mm extension (5mm AGGRESSIVE GROWTH in 5 months)

3/03/2016:   Gamma Knife - Dr. Sheehan

Trinityfilled

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Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2016, 07:18:32 pm »
When I first was diagnosed in April of this year, I was severely depressed. I had a 3 year old and a 5 month old at the time and I was devastated and terrified. I had surgery at the end of June and it removed about 85% of the tumor. I think I'm a lot less of a control freak now and try to go with the flow and appreciate my time here, since life is short. It gave me a different perspective on what really matters in life, which in my opinion, is all about we love and care for others. My friendships with people have deepened and my relationship and time with my family is number 1 now, no compromise! So I suppose I may appear nicer lol. I still get worried when I think about what the future could hold since I have tumor remaining, but I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.  :) Hope that helps.
-Aimee
Diagnosed AN on 4/18/16, 3.6x3.4cm
12hr Retrosigmoid surgery 6/24 removed 85%
Second surgery, 6hrs, with Friedman & Schwartz at UCSD 8/7/18 for regrowth 3.3x1.5cm. Small portion left to preserve facial nerve.
8/15/18 CSF leak from incision after suture removal. Sutures replaced.

Sheba

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Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2016, 10:42:03 pm »

I don't think the surgery caused any personality change. 

But I think the experience of the surgery, and learning so many people's stories on these sites, has made me more aware of the difficulties some folks are dealing with.  I feel very fortunate to be doing great post op.
Diagnosed 4/2016 1.4cm AN.  Mild hearing loss and tinnitus.
Removed 7/2016 at Keck, Drs. Freidman and Giannotta, Retrosig approach.  Lost hearing in AN ear, but no other negative outcomes.  Will investigate bone anchored hearing devices.

Highwireart

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  • AN is small. Surgery is 11/30/16. Out damn spot!
Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2016, 08:53:45 am »
I have yet to have surgery. It is scheduled for Nov 30, 2016. I find now, pre treatment, I am irritable at work. The noises and constant interruptions which are part of my job, hospital case manager, are no longer easy to deal with. It has affected my work where I once was a lead, and now, have had to go to 4 eight hour shifts a week, to maintain some healthy outlook about life and work/family balance. This has not been my normal state. I would say, 5 years ago, maybe even 3, I could multi-task, not worry about interruptions, could tolerate multiple sounds from various places, not trip over things, etc. Now, even though my AN is small, and that I now know there is a likely cause for all my troubles the last few years and with the acute hearing loss and constant ringing, I find myself somewhat relieved to know there is an answer to my dilemma. I was an ICU nurse and sailor. I could nimbly go about a moving sailboat heeled over and not lose my balance and could multi-task and tolerate all the bells and whistles in the ICU. No longer could or can I do those things. That was 10 years ago. So, I think I will find myself practicing more mindfulness and practicality will force a greater degree of acceptance of circumstances. I think I will be a nicer person. I find the recovering spirit of anyone is so individualized no matter the disease, whether acute or chronic. We must find support somehow, somewhere and humor. Mark Ruffalo said the one benefit of losing his hearing is when he lays down on his hearing ear, he can sleep like a baby and his children do not wake him up. You can find his interview on youtube.  :)
"It's always something." ~ Gilda Radner

thebirdsanc

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Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2016, 08:52:19 pm »
I had my surgery last week and have been hot and cold toward my family.  Part of it is them smothering me with support while I am trying to be independent and rehab on my own, part of it is probably the decadron making me agitated and overtired since I'm not sleeping. Patience....

ewhitese

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Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2016, 08:46:15 pm »
I am three years post gamma knife, so I have been through the pre-op, surgery, post-op, rehab, and now long term living with the AN stages.  Everyone reacts differently but my journey has included a wide range of meaner to nicer and everything in between. A good dose of depression is in there, especially when symptoms were so overwhelming all I could do was roll up in a ball. There's some post traumatic stress from trauma to the nerve and brain in there.  Fear of he unknown when the loss of control was overwhelming, example uncontrollable vomiting from vertigo unable to open my eyes with out vomiting for several days. I think the meanness came out more post op first six months during the time balance left and vertigo took hold, hearing went away and headaches were at their worst.  As I began to manage my symptoms and learned to live with them I began to adjust my attitude.  I walked my way to balance, just kept walking a little farther each day, eventually I didn't have to pay attention to each step. It didn't just happen I had to will myself to control my meanness.  I still have a pair of grumpy pants in the closet that come out when I'm over tired, in overwhelming stimuli, loud, crowd, too many people demanding my attention at once, weather transitions.  I take myself out of those situations if I can, avoid activities I think will be overwhelming.  But some times I just power through and let the chips fall where they may.  Currently year three living with AN, I am used to my symptoms or have forgotten what life was like with out them.  I no longer am depressed about physical change, I don't worry so much about my balance my brain has learned to compensate and it's like riding a bike I don't have to think about it or concentrate on standing as much as I did.  I have trouble in the dark, I know I have to keep my focus when negotiating uneven terrain, and I know my eyes have a large part in that transition. So my focus is different, that has changed my outlook and I think I have returned to a nicer personality.   Mostly because I am not looking back I am looking forward.  I challenge my symptoms every so often just to see where I stand and am increasing my activity level as much as I can.  I'm a mere shadow of my former pre-AN self, but I'm not 25 anymore and I am 100 times more active than I was two years ago.  So mean - nice it's a state of mind right?  Where would you rather live, some enjoy the mean camp and stay there longer because they are getting something from it.  I like what I get from the nice camp more so I try hard to stay there.  I don't want to be treated differently than I was so I don't share to much information with those around me.  Those close to me know when I need some space and they have grown accustom to my quirks.  Life is still good, just different than it was.  Make the best of what you have and your attitude will reflect your new outlook.  Hope these ramblings are useful, I feel better just putting it on paper so to speak.

Pembo

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Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2016, 09:53:13 am »
I had my surgery in 2004. My husband will tell you that I am less patient than before surgery. I also do  not "suffer fools well", meaning if you have a problem I am very impatient with people who don't do anything about it. I still have facial numbness and tingling and live with that everyday. I have seen improvements over these 12 years so all the being patient with myself doesn't allow me much patience with others.
Surgery June 3, 2004, University Hospitals Cleveland, BAHA received in 2005, Facial Therapy at UPMC 2006

leapyrtwins

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Re: Nicer? The same? Meaner?
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2016, 11:29:13 am »
No change in personality here, but I am more grateful and I don't take anything in life for granted.

Although an AN certainly isn't a wonderful thing to have, it's also not the end of the world.  And, personally, I feel blessed that what I was diagnosed with wasn't so much more - like a cancerous tumor. 

Being SSD (single-sided deaf) is something I can manage and I'm so thankful I didn't have more "issues" from my surgery.

Leading up to my surgery, I was a person who volunteered and donated to charities.  After my surgery I do even more of both.

Retrosig 5/31/07 Drs. Battista & Kazan (Hinsdale, Illinois)
Left AN 3.0 cm (1.5 cm @ diagnosis 6 wks prior) SSD. BAHA implant 3/4/08 (Dr. Battista) Divino 6/4/08  BP100 4/2010 BAHA 5 8/2015

I don't actually "make" trouble..just kind of attract it, fine tune it, and apply it in new and exciting ways