Author Topic: Today was a hard day  (Read 4902 times)

amymeri

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Today was a hard day
« on: December 28, 2006, 05:07:00 pm »
Today is the one year anniversary of the first--very sudden--onset of my AN symptom.  It was a 2.5 month journey to get the diagnosis but the worry and fear from 12.28.05 and this whole year has been life changing, difficult and scary.  I am fervently hoping 2007 will be a new and better year.  I have lost a lot of faith in my body and my health.

I am looking forward to a new year.  I hope it is a healthy and happy one for all of us.

Amy :D
Amy

4 cm right AN removed restrosigmoid 4/13/06
Partial facial paralysis, SSD and trigeminal numbness for now

Battyp

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2006, 05:07:56 pm »
I'll drink to that!  ;D :-*


Gennysmom

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2006, 05:50:50 pm »
Amy, I hope 2007 is better as well.  My journey started 3/1/06 when the Doctor called, rather surprized, that they had found something in the MRI that was just supposed to be ruling out anything other than damage from loud noises, as a reason for my gradual hearing loss.  In fact I was joking with my coworkers as I left for my MRI that I was going to make sure I didn't have a brain tumor...not so funny now that I think of it.  The one bonus is that I was an overachiever that had a hard time saying no, so I was always running to do something for someone else....my plate is now clear and I have a lot more time for me which I plan to make use of in 2007...."sorry, I just can't do that anymore, I'm still recovering" lets me do or not do things just for me. 

So, you've made the year, give yourself a big gold star on the calendar, and get ready for the toast on Sunday night, you deserve it!

Hugs!  Kathleen
3.1cm x 2.0cm x 2.1cm rt AN Translab 7/5/06
CSF leak 7/17/06 fixed by 8 day lumbar drain
Dr. Backous, Virgina Mason Seattle
12/26/07 started wearing TransEar

Jeanlea

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2006, 10:17:01 pm »
Amy,

Things will get better for you.  I'm now in my second year.  Things are better than this time last year.  Last year it was a big accomplishment to be able to work out on my treadmill.  Now I do it nearly daily.  Last year I wasn't even close to smiling.  This year I can sort of smile.  At least it's debatable whether or not it's a smile.  Last year there was no question about it.  My balance is much better too.  Tonight I really tested it out.  I was dusting a high shelf so I put a sort of wobbly footstool on the couch to reach the shelf.  The dusting got done and I didn't fall!
The year 2007 will be better for all of us.

Jean
translab on 3.5+ cm tumor
September 6, 2005
Drs. Friedland and Meyer
Milwaukee, WI
left-side facial paralysis and numbness
TransEar for SSD

Palace

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2006, 06:06:55 am »
 :D

Are you kidding?  IT WAS A HARD YEAR...........don't fear, Sunday is near!   ;)  (the big Mega Toast Out)



Pal
22 mm Acoustic Neuroma (right side)
Cyberknife, Nov. & Dec. 2006
Dr. Iris Gibbs & Dr. Blevins @ Stanford
single sided deafness

Jim Scott

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2006, 09:29:37 am »
Well, in terms of being diagnosed with a large AN (see my signature) it was a tough year. 

However, my surgery & radiation treatments were quite successful with few complications and even at almost 7 months post-op, I can still see minor improvements in my overall condition, which is always encouraging.  I also discovered the true affection many folks in my circle of friends and acquaintances held for me when they learned of my brain tumor.  My wife beautifully demonstrated her love and devotion to me during the entire process.  In addition, an experience such as this can sometimes lead you to strengthen your religious faith, and I have, to, what I consider, my benefit.

In light of all that, I cannot call my 2006 'AN experience' entirely bad, although I would have preferred to receive the positive attention for a different reason, minus the AN symptoms, hospitalization and my fight for a full recovery.  That being said, although I'm doing well, I'll always associate 2006 with my Acoustic Neuroma and so, I'm glad to see it end, and, like everyone here, I'm really looking forward to a new year (2007) and tumor-free MRI scans into the foreseeable future.   :)


Jim[/color]
4.5 cm AN diagnosed 5/06.  Retrosigmoid surgery 6/06.  Follow-up FSR completed 10/06.  Tumor shrinkage & necrosis noted on last MRI.  Life is good. 

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it is what makes the difference.

Patti

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2006, 09:54:06 am »
I feel that if I got through the AN removal and subsequent surgeries and long-term and life-long issues, that I will beet any thing that creeps up on me as I age.  Have no fear-the worst has been conquered.  Patti
4 cm AN removed 12/2000
subsequent brain swelling
removal of part of cerebellum
face, scalp,tongue numbness and partial paralysis
no corneal sensation and no tears-frequent eye issues
cognitive issues
Regrowth (3.1 x ..86 cm) treated by SRS on November 6, 2015

Denise

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2006, 10:00:15 am »
Amy,
I agree it was a tough year. My timeframe for diagnosis to surgery was 34 days.  I think I am finally finally coming to terms with my new face and other physical issues or b.s.  

I am in my second year, and at my one year anniversary in May, I found out my facial paralysis was permanent. Talk about having all your hopes dashed in one fell swoop!  Anyway, in August I had the 12/7 nerve switch surgery.   I think I am less droopy, but still have little or no movement.  Dr. says at six months should see movement. So watching and waiting.

I did have coffee with Kathy, (Obita) a couple weeks ago, and she swears she saw my upper lip move a few times, so again I am very hopeful.  

I HOPE AND PRAY YOU HAVE A BETTER 2007 AND YOU SEE IMPROVEMENT IN YOUR SITUATION ON A DAILY BASIS.  

I have been keeping a journal since my diagnosis and when I read my previous entries, I do see improvement in my symptoms and in my abilities to control my physical issues.  When I found this site after my surgery, everyone was saying patience it is a slow recovery, well, unfortunately, they were RIGHT!!!  Recovery is a long long process, it is easy to be down and loose hope, especially around the holidays.  But, thank goodness this site is here and there are so many others that understand what its like.

Have faith, Amy, we are all here for you!!!!!

Denise
4+ cm, left side
translab 5/9/2005
CSF leak repair 6/23/2005
platinum weight in left eye 11/9/05
12/7 nerve switch 8/3/06
Univ. of MN Drs. Levine/Haines

nancyann

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2006, 11:05:57 am »
Amy:
I know how you feel.  People gauk at me the way you do a car wreck !!  Not a nice feeling.  Also, my 'friend with benefits' of 7 years decided to end things - he said it wasn't because of my face, but I know it had ALOT to do with it.
I feel like my whole world's been turned upside down & inside out.
Dealing with the facial paralysis is a tough thing to go thru, especially when you're alone;   some days I'm okay, but lately I'm having more bad than good days, probably the holidays had something to do with it, being alone and all.

Anyway, I too am hoping and praying for a better year in 2007.

You're in my prayers too Amy.  Wishing you sunshine through the cloudy days, Nancy
2.2cm length x 1.7cm width x 1.3cm  depth
retrosigmoid 6/19/06
Gold weight 7/19/06, removed 3/07
lateral tarsel strip X3
T3 procedure 11/20/07
1.6 Gm platinum weight 7/10/08
lateral canthal sling 11/14/08
Jones tube insert right inner eye 2/27/09
2.4 Gm. Platinum chain 2017
right facial paralysis

amymeri

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2006, 12:56:51 pm »
Thank you everyone for your empathy and prayers.

Today I was better although I can still feel the residual anxiety. 

Good Things:  Found out I have many wonderful friends and family and felt really, really loved this year. 
                    Found 3 forums and communities that daily remind me of the strength and kindness of others.
                    Lost 25#   
                    Found a great doctor to help with my facial paralysis..which I have faith is getting-ever so slowly-better
                    My marriage found new life and new committment in the face of this crisis
                    I am a better medical provider who understands more than ever that compassion goes a long, long way.
                   
These are all things of great value to me, and most of the year I have recognized them and appreciated them.  But yesterday, lying on my bed with my face scrunched up in that ugly awful way as I shed tears from my "good side", I just couldn't remember that.  NONE of it seemed worth a brain tumor.

But we play the cards we are dealt.  I am really hoping to have a safe, healthy 2007 for my loved ones.  That's all I really care about anymore.

This forum and all of you are a Godsend.

Thank you!
« Last Edit: December 29, 2006, 12:58:35 pm by amymeri »
Amy

4 cm right AN removed restrosigmoid 4/13/06
Partial facial paralysis, SSD and trigeminal numbness for now

ppearl214

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Re: Today was a hard day
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2006, 08:28:38 pm »
amy, denise *blows kiss!* and to you all.... we reflect at this time of year, we look back on certain events, anniversaries, etc that have occurred... but, boy oh boy... look how far we have come! :)  I just love it!  Onward and upward all! :)

Happy new year!
xo
Phyl
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness", Capt Jack Sparrow - Davy Jones Locker, "Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End"