Author Topic: Thank you  (Read 2814 times)

Lainie181818

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Thank you
« on: March 19, 2007, 09:34:22 pm »
To everyone who reached out and responded to me, thank you so so much. I do not feel so alone and I received some very good suggestions. Yesterday, my daughter who spent the weekend with me, dragged me out of the house and we walked 4 miles. I felt so good [ and a little sore ] I know that I have to get my act together, so I am going to start with baby steps. Right now it would feel good to just not get uo out of bed each day, but I cannot give in to that. I hope you guys do not get sick of me as I will be using this websight again to talk to you. I feel that the AN journey is such a mental and physical condition, when I feel depressed my symptoms are much worse and then I get scared that I am regressing. does anyone else feel like this? I am coming up to my 1st year MRI and that is playing on my mind [ litterally ]. I do realise that I am a lot better off than some people, but it is hard trying to move forward.
Once again thank you all so much and I will try and respond personally.
Lainie.

Palace

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2007, 11:00:47 pm »
 8)

Hello Lainie,


It is good know you got out to walk.  Keep busy and if you can, get interested in some artwork.  Perhaps you can get involved in that and lost in other thoughts for a time.  (give you purpose if even temporary for now)  Go to art openings and find a medium that interests, you.  (just an idea since, I'm an artist and that helped me through some hard times) 

As I type this I have a horrible headache.  I'm not doing art right now, myself.  My neck aches so badly daily now, I can't turn it and the migraines are debilitating.  No, you aren't alone.  I have many, many life stories and it does add strength and character to you that other people might not have.

You are welcome from all of us on the forum and don't worry about writing personally.  I responded for awhile to people personally and then even that, got too much.  (later on)  I'm over-whelmed with things here at home, my symptoms and my husbands heath issues.  No, you are not alone.

Post when you like and we can all read here, at once.  That is what I'm doing now.  I don't have the time or effort to respond individually, like I did for awhile.  We all understand!



Keep busy...... ;)



Palace
22 mm Acoustic Neuroma (right side)
Cyberknife, Nov. & Dec. 2006
Dr. Iris Gibbs & Dr. Blevins @ Stanford
single sided deafness

er

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2007, 12:20:51 am »
hi lainie
I am also a new person on the web-site , I wish I would have found it sooner. I know I've bored all my friends tell them about what a wonderful sight I have found.
My girl friend went to my second MRI consultation Friday and she personally told my doctor that I have gotten in depression moods. which I didn't know that people could noticed. But I myself try to keep busy by going to school and volunteering, grading papers plus other things, it helps me out, the children really make me feel good.  I've not been working because a the few problems that I have been going through. Oh yes, another thing to help my depression along , but had been blessed , my husband of 63 years of age went through a 6 way bypass in September 7 2006 so I am still taking care of him so that has help my depression also.
I am also an artist except I've not been able to pick up a paint brush in a while I have not felt like painting
hang in there
eve

Jill Marie

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2007, 12:21:40 am »
Hi Lainie,

I too am new to the forum but not new to Neuroma's.  I had a Facial Nerve Neuroma removed 15 years ago, I didn't have the headaches you have but I do have the facial issues.  I'm really glad to hear that your daughter got you out of the house for a walk, getting out of the house really seems to help and addiing some exercise with it makes it twice as good.  My husband and I walk the dogs every weekend and now that the weather is getting better we will walk them almost everyday.  If you have a dog you might want to give it a try, if you don't perhaps you could get one.  They are great companions, they give you unconditional love & you are never alone when they are around.  If you walk them a couple of times they will make a point of letting you know that they want to go on a walk again which is good for both of you.  Just an idea! 

I know what you mean about being better off than some people but it still makes it hard to accept and deal with what you have.  Your life isn't going the way you thought it would and it's not because of anything you did. Have you been able to let the anger over what has happened to you get out of your system?  When I first came home from the hospital I was really depressed because I went in thinking I had an AN and would be fine.  I had know idea of what could be involved with the post op of an AN, then I added on the fact that it was a Facial Nerve Neuroma that added on more complications.  To top it off I broke my leg & ankle the month before my surgery and couldn't walk on it for 3 months.  All this after we had just bought a new home that we could only afford if I went to work parttime which I was ready to do as the boys were in the 4th and 6th grades.  We had only been in the new house a month when everything happened.  We managed to keep the house but it wasn't easy on either of us.  As for letting out the anger, my husband brought all the things from the hospital home with me.  At first I was mad as I didn't want anything around that reminded me of the surgery, as it turned out I was glad he brought them home as one day while I was alone I went into the spare bedroom and took everything from the hospital and put it on the floor with me.  I was still using crutches so it was easier to just sit on the floor with it all and bit by bit destroy all of it.  I busted the plastic pitcher, the plastic tray I threw up in and destoyred other things I know longer remember but I do remember well taking the scissors to the garmet bag I put my clothes in before my surgery.  That was the moment I closed the chapter to my old life and began to build a new life.  Not a crappy life or a better life but a different life then what I had. 

I'm glad that your daughter is there to support you and hope that your husband will be able to do the same.  In your first post you mentioned that he wants to leave you.  I'm hoping that is only something you feel he wants to do rather than that is what he said he wants to do.  I know now how hard it was on my husband to see me go through the problems I had after the surgery while trying to take care of me, the home and our boys.  Perhaps your husband is having a hard time as well, he sees what you are going through and there's not much he can do to help, sometimes being supportive isn't as easy as should be.  To top it off when he needed the money the most he got a pay cut, making it hard to support you and then to loose your house on top of it.  Perhaps he just needs time as you do to adjust to all the changes.  I know it might seem strange but maybe you might want to find a way to help him through this, it would give you something else to focus on and also show him that you know he is suffering too!  I say all of this because not long after my surgery my husband went through a strike and didn't have a regular job for almost 2 years, I helped him through it and that's when we realized just how much we needed each other.  Things are not always as they seem so give you and your husband a chance to work through all of this. Take Care, Jill Marie
« Last Edit: March 20, 2007, 09:36:40 pm by Jill Marie »
Facial Nerve Neuroma removed 6/15/92 by Dr. Charles Mangham, Seattle Ear Clinic. Deaf/left ear, left eye doesn't water.

Pembo

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Re: Thank you
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2007, 09:55:05 am »
Just a welcome to all you newbies and after almost 3 years on this site I have found lots of compassion. My mantra is "This is my new normal". I still grieve for the old me and when I have to get my drivers license picture retaken I'll be very depressed. I had the current pic taken 1 week before surgery. My head is tilted but I am smiling big!

Stay strong........
Surgery June 3, 2004, University Hospitals Cleveland, BAHA received in 2005, Facial Therapy at UPMC 2006