Hi, elderbirds:
Your concerns regarding the consequences of surgery (or radiation) to address your AN diagnosis are normal and quite valid.
Although occasionally an acoustic neuroma tumor will cease growing, with yours at close to 2 centimeters, you may not be that fortunate. Please note that is pure speculation on my part, without any medical evidence, based on other's experience. However, a 'watch-and-wait' approach may be feasible if you can use the time to come to grips with the eventual necessity of undergoing surgery or radiation. Of course, this is a personal decision and your doctor's recommendation is far more important than what anyone says on this forum, but we try to be honest and realistic.
We've all experienced the scary thought of walking into a hospital feeling relatively 'fine', then undergoing surgery or radiation and coming out with myriad complications that would negatively impact our quality of life. Realistically, this scenario can and does happen, for a wide variety of reasons. Yes, the doctors can remove or kill the benign-but-dangerous tumor (dangerous due to it's placement) but the risk of unpleasant consequences of such procedures remains a reality we all have to face prior to entering the hospital. Putting off surgery or radiation is not a solution. Coping with our fears, is.
We usually urge that a 'newbie' (newly diagnosed AN patient) educate themselves as much as possible, taking the fear of the unknown out of the equation. Even a medical professional like yourself needs to focus on the facts, not simply assume the worst-case scenario. That doesn't mean ignoring the possibility of post-op hearing loss (very likely, with or without treatment, as the AN is wrapped around the 8th nerve), equilibrium problems, dizziness, facial paralysis and CSF leaks. Surgery always involves anesthesia and, as you know, that means some after-effects. I had no appetite and felt fatigued for a few days, post-surgery, which is not unusual, as my surgery was almost 9 hours. I recuperated from that and went on to a full recovery, although my hearing was permanently lost in the AN-affected ear some time (years) before my 'retrosigmoid approach' surgery.
The cold, hard fact is that you'll have to physically address the reality of having a acoustic neuroma tumor - some day. You can probably postpone that day for awhile but you'll risk continued hearing loss and other problems if you attempt to do so for too long. Bi-annual MRI scans will be a necessity if you take the 'watch-and-wait' approach (with the approval of your doctor, of course). You state that the thought of things getting worse 'terrifies you', which is entirely rational. That kind of fear should be used as a motivation for you to address the AN as soon as feasible, before such damage can occur. We always caution recently-diagnosed AN patients to choose their doctor/surgeon very, very carefully. Their experience in treating acoustic neuroma tumors is vital. If a surgeon/radiation oncologist doesn't have extensive experience in treating/operating on AN tumors, he or she has to be considered someone that you should sensibly avoid. You cannot afford to simply defer to a particular doctors opinion. As a person working in the medical profession, I'm sure you know that. I just felt it imperative to mention, as the AN diagnosis can sometimes cloud a patients mind with emotions and make sensible decisions harder. I trust that won't be the case for you.
Bottom line: You have to address your AN. Your feeling of well-being will inevitably turn out to be temporary and too much delay in treating the tumor will have negative results. Your fear of unpleasant, life-altering post-op consequences is based on reality. Do the necessary research. Choose your doctor/surgeon very carefully. Your position as a medical professional should make that easier. Face the possibility that treating your tumor will be somewhat of a gamble...as results can never be guaranteed. Think about how you'll deal with the post-op problems you've mentioned. Then, realize that because some AN patients have post-op/radiation complications, many do not. I had a few minor issues that all resolved within six months. My AN was twice as big as yours and I was over 60 when diagnosed. I also had a suburb neurosurgeon, was in very good health and had a positive attitude. I'm fine, now. I trust you'll have a similar experience.
Please feel fee to use this forum to ask questions, vent and, most of all, simply stay connected to those who have 'been there' and can empathize with your fears, worries and concerns.
Jim
