Author Topic: Very Depressed...  (Read 5646 times)

LADavid

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2008, 07:55:32 pm »
Vicki
As a 20 year vet of corporate life, I have two questions.
How long has your supervisor been with the company?
Is her supervisor a male?
Cynical as it may be, I've seen office affairs get out of control like this.  Someone is covering someones butt.  My daughter went through the same situation several years ago.  She fought her way through it -- her tormentor is now gone -- and she's thriving in the company.
Have you ever considered transferring to another department in your company?  Is it an option?  Have you contacted your company's insurance company about the possibility of AN surgery?
Have a good Monday.
David
Right ear tinnitus w/80% hearing loss 1985.
Left ear 40% hearing loss 8/07.
1.5 CM Translab Rt ear.
Sort of quiet around here.
http://my.calendars.net/AN_Treatments

vicki1967

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2008, 08:42:51 pm »
The individuals causing the chaos are both female. There are only a few men in our department, and they are all very nice. The office admin looks very similar to Whoopi Goldberg, and she may be suffering from low-self esteem. I just don't know what to think, anymore. I am fearful of my life due to (the office admin's) going OUT OF HER WAY to make me miserable, and embarrass me. It seems as though she lies in bed each night - concocting things she wants to say to me. I feel somewhat 'stalked' by her. She seriously goes out of her way to make me look like a fool. I have more respect for other's around me, so I'm not going to create a UFC match while at work. I would like to set a good example for my son. Sometimes, I feel so beaten-down that I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out. It's not fair to my son that I just can't make myself seem happy on some days.

Glenda

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #17 on: March 23, 2008, 09:42:16 pm »
Vicki,
It simply amazes me the way some (Adult) people can act.  I have been in situations like this before but was always backed up when someone in higher authority was notified.  It is simply horrid that HR is allowing this kind of behavior to go on. 
I agree with Nancy Ann's thought about checking with the American Disabilities Act.  Maybe there is something they can do.  Other than that maybe you can make a decision about surgery and be away from them all, and when the surgery is over and you have healed,  you can find a new job where you can actually work with some nice and kind people.  I will pray things get better for you.  Keep us all informed.....We Care.....
Glenda
« Last Edit: March 24, 2008, 06:48:51 pm by Glenda »
Diagnosed 5 mm AN  Jan 2008
Deep in IAC
June 2010 7 mm
July 2011 8.5 mm
July 2012 1.1 cm
Nov 28, 2012 Mid Fossa Surgery Wake Forest Baptist Hospital-Winston-Salem NC, Dr John Wilson and Dr Eric Oliver


SSD tinnitus dizziness

vicki1967

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2008, 02:12:35 am »
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, it means a lot to me. It must, because I'm up at 4:00 in the morning, reading all this advice! It's like therapy for me. Right now I feel like my situation at work is causing me more grief than the tumor itself. I realize I should take advantage of this time that I cannot sleep and start searching for a specialist online. I just feel like - if I can be assured there is hope, and caring people, out there - maybe I can move to issue #2. This discussion forum is just the beginning for me.

I'm just worried about my life in regards to this individual tormentor. I carry all of the cruel words that were said to me on a day to day basis. I feel like I'm damaged for life because I can't get those things of out my mind. I often wonder what I did to deserve this. I feel like a freak of nature. I wonder why 'I' was chosen to be victimized (not that anyone else should have deserved this). I believe I need more prayers than anything. I haven't been to church because I feel as if I am mad at God for not watching over me. Also, church brings me to tears when I think about all this. I don't want to cause a 'scene' among others, as I hate crying in public. I am so incredibly mad that HR didn't do anything for the complaint, or the retaliation. If I ever stop posting here, with no explanation, please use my words on this forum to show my fears - if something ever happens to me and it makes the news. I have close friends that I talk to, but I don't feel like they would come forward in the event of an investigation. I'm certainly not holding anyone accountable for watching the news, and waiting for something to happen to a girl named Vicki, in Cleveland, but I feel like I have some 'reassurance' that people know my concerns for my own safety - in case I cannot speak for myself.

Thanks, again. 

Lorenzo

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2008, 02:24:27 am »
HI Vicki,

You haven't done ANYTHING to deserve this. NOBODY deserves anything like this. It's not you, it's them inflicting this on somebody, possibly the entire office, through you! Once this is over, you will move on, not forget because that will be difficult to do, but things will change! Why you? Probably because you are so much better than they are and a threat to them because of that. How far this will go is anybody's guess. I doubt they would push to extremes! If they are under 'orders' they won't go too far. Can you take some steps to not be alone around them at all times?

Nothing is worth this, no job, no insurance cover, nothing. Your mental and physical security takes precedent!! If you have fears like that, can you seek some help from the police? I know we can here in this country. I certainly would talk to my lawyer about all this and make statements if it was that bad!

Lastly, whatever works for you for comfort, be it church, tears, the forum, all those are good. Seek strength wherever you can!

Lorenzo
CK, Stanford, Drs Chang and Hancock, Dec 04,
doing great now.

Dana

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #20 on: March 24, 2008, 05:17:39 pm »
Vicki,

Below is what my friend who's director of the human resources dept at a large government agency in Calif said.  Unfortunately, I don't think it adds much to what you already know or have done:

"I am just appalled at this e-mail and the treatment this person is being
subjected too, it's 2008!!!!

I would suggest she go back to her HR office, she should be protected
against retaliation - that is what they are there to do, protect her.
Also, she should go on line an review her rights under "ADA" Americans
with Disabilities Act - arm herself.  If her HR dept is not able to help
her I would then look into DFEH (Department of Fair Employment and
Housing) - and look into filing a complaint.  Her HR is there to protect
her, but it doesn't sound like they are.   She can find both of these
agencies on line."


The DFEH is a State of California dept, so that doesn't help you.  As others have said, I would check to see if there's anything in ADA that might help, in addition to the EEOC complaint you've filed. 

I think today was the day when your tormentor(s) were going to be absent, so.... I hope you had a better day.  My heart goes out to you.  Please continue to use our Board to unload how you feel, in the hopes that it helps a little bit.

More hugs,
Dana
1.5 cm AN diagnosed June 2007.   GammaKnife July 19, 2007 at Univ. of Washington/Harborview GK Center, Drs. Rockhill, Rostomily. 
After yearly MRIs for 5 years, it hadn't died. So I'm now leaning strongly toward surgery.

thornapple

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2008, 06:46:05 pm »
 >:(

They have created a hostile work environment for you by abusing you for having a disability. Sounds like they would cause a hostile situation for anyone, be that person gay, short, fat, skinny, etc. You just happen to be the one most available. This is the social culture of the place you work? I would get the H out of there if I were you. If this is going on, the whole place is sick to the rotten core.

The disability act only deals with accomodations for people with disabilities, and in not discriminating against them in hiring practices.

The act does not have an answer about what to do to people behaving like yahoos towards someone with a disability.

However, the treatment you are experiencing from the staff there is the kind of thing muckrackers love to rake. I mean, this is MUCK. Before you call in the muckrakers (last resort), find out what the procedure is you need to follow to manage this kind of thing. It obviously isn't being managed, or it wouldn't be happening.

Indeed, there must be something in such a large company about dealing with inappropriate and unacceptable behavior in the workplace ( I am in an office of 7 people, and we have one). Get a copy from the HR department. Read it. There will also be a whole chain of command of what to do to address a grievance; speak to your supervisor, speak to that person's supervisor, make a formal complaint to yadda yadda; it is written in a manual somewhere, trust me. Follow prodedure. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING, every comment, every inappropriate behavior, for several weeks, in writing; with dates, times, what was said, who said it. See if you can find another person who will witness these incidents and agree to document them as well. Then you have ammunition.

They don't allow bullying in schools; why does a majorly huge business permit it in the workplace? It is completely unacceptable.

The following factors determine whether a workplace constitutes a hostile work environment: (1) the frequency of the discriminatory conduct; (2) its severity; whether it is physically threatening or humiliating, or a mere offensive utterance; and (3) whether it unreasonably interferes with an employee’s work performance.

So you MUST DOCUMENT it. Get a nice weekly planner (or actually it sounds like you need a daily one with a full page for each) and start documenting.


http://www.ada-ohio.org/

Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio, Wisconsin

DBTAC – Great Lakes ADA Center
University of Illinois/Chicago
Department on Disability and Human Development
1640 West Roosevelt Road, Room 405
Chicago, Illinois 60608
Phone: (312) 413-1407 (V/TTY)
Fax: (312) 413-1856
E-mail: gldbtac@uic.edu
Web site: www.adagreatlakes.org


Well, I went back and read some more....seems like you already did everything you were supposed to do. I would still document everything, then get a lawyer and a muckraker and start raking muck.


« Last Edit: March 24, 2008, 06:50:24 pm by thornapple »

thornapple

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2008, 06:58:39 pm »
« Last Edit: March 24, 2008, 08:31:58 pm by thornapple »

Denisex2boys

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #23 on: March 25, 2008, 08:02:03 am »
Oh my - I am absolutely appalled by this!  I can't even imagine that this would go on in this day and age.  I have had nothing but support from my Company.  To me this seems almost like a 'stalker/aggravated' assault case and if you are getting no where with the HR Dept. then I would not hesitate in the least - (if it were me) - to involve the police - - I have never heard of anything so extreme before.

((((HUGS)))) to you!
- Oct. 16/08 - 12 hour 'blob-ectomy' at LHSC in London, ON - Dr. Lownie and Parnes
- Some internal facial numbness (cheek, tongue, eye), SSD, headaches (getting better), dry eye, some balance issues..... but othwise AWESOME!

leapyrtwins

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Re: Very Depressed...
« Reply #24 on: March 25, 2008, 08:46:47 am »
Thornapple -

very interesting links.

Thanks,

Jan
Retrosig 5/31/07 Drs. Battista & Kazan (Hinsdale, Illinois)
Left AN 3.0 cm (1.5 cm @ diagnosis 6 wks prior) SSD. BAHA implant 3/4/08 (Dr. Battista) Divino 6/4/08  BP100 4/2010 BAHA 5 8/2015

I don't actually "make" trouble..just kind of attract it, fine tune it, and apply it in new and exciting ways