new to forum and trying to stay afloat

[otispie]

Hi everyone -

I found this site tonight.  I am trying to do my new job at work - (sales) and haven't told anyone i can't hear too well -- however now know i am missing some things people say. 
My husband is not very compassionate about this and only recently said "you can't hear anything i say"
Not easy -

[mindyandy]

Welcome!!!! I do understand its not easy...however your husband should be more compaionate (sp)? Sorry my spelling has gone down hill....
If you ever need a shoulder to lean on....WE ARE HERE FOR YOU 

Take Care and write often!!!!!

[leapyrtwins]

Hi and welcome 

Have you been diagnosed with an Acoustic Neuroma? or do you just suspect you have one?

Jan

[GRACE1]

Before my AN, my husband was always the one who could not hear well due to working around loud machinery for so long.  After my diagnosis and gradual loss of hearing and SSD, I was always saying "Huh?" to everything.  My sweet husband would say that he knew it was not my fault, but it was irritating.  The way I got him to understand my loss of hearing was to go to the hearing isssues section and print the posts about ANer's trials and tribulations with how people reacted to them not being able to hear and understand.  Now he knows he has to not talk to me from other rooms, and he has to look directly at me if I am to understand him.   

[Nancy Drew]

Otispie,

Have you had a hearing test?  If so, maybe you can show the dang thing to your husband so he can see that you do in fact have hearing loss.  My husband was sort of the same way although I don't think he meant to be insensitive.  I think he tried to just normalize things as a way of denying that I had a brain tumor in the first place.  When I started having tinnitus, my husband would say he has it too.  It is a fact that people can have tinnitus without having a brain tumor.  I think when my husband went with me to the AN doc, the reality of the whole AN situation seemed to sink in for him.  I think these ANs are rare enough that people just don't "get it".  A lot of people think once I get GK I will get my hearing back.  I think people mean well most of the time--just not educated about ANs.  However, you might want to give your hubby some info to read and have him go with you when you see the AN doc. 

Good Luck,

Nancy

[Sue]

I agree with Nancy about the hearing test.  You should probably get one anyway to have a base line for comparison.  My ENT had me take a hearing test before he saw me.  My second hearing test clearly shows that my hearing had gone down.

I hope things are better for you soon.

Sue in Vancouver USA

[ppearl214]

Hi all, well, technology came through. This thread was moved to its proper home and we have been able to "merge" the 2 threads -- the original with the temp thread -- into one so all posts come through clearly. We appreciate your understanding and patience as this was being fixed. Thanks! Phyl

[LADavid]

Otispie
You have my sympathy and understanding.  I've been deaf on one side and very hard of hearing on the other side for 24 years.  I've been through all sorts of situations including friends and family who did not understand or accept it.  I've been accused of not listening.  I used to try to deal with mumblers.  I learned to read lips.  And I've had relationships end over it.  I totally understand your frustration.

Like the others have said, see an ENT and get a hearing test.  If you do have a hearing loss, consider a hearing aid -- they work wonders.  I have a behind the ear model.  It is very descreet and hardly noticible.  Also, do you have an AN?

David

[Jinxy]

Welcome to the forum! Everyone is so wonderful here.

Sorry to hear others aren't so understanding of your hearing loss. Definitely get a full audiogram when you can. You didn't say if you had AN or not. Depending on the type of hearing loss, you can get a hearing aid which can help you immensely.

I finally told my boss about my hearing loss and he sent an email out to the rest of the team. I find most try to speak up and make sure I can see their mouth when speaking but a few just seem to forget and I get pretty assertive.

This girl that sits across from me likes to talk to me but she mumbles so much I can't hear what she says. Finally I just say, "I can't hear you." LOL a little blunt but heck, she knows I'm hearing impaired.

You loved ones being impatient with you may be out of fear. They are worried about you and the changes that are taking place.

I think all you can do is gently help them get used to things. You need their support as you are trying to cope too.

[Nancy Drew]

I just tell folks to speak up because I have hearing problems.  With people I know well, I tell them I have an AN and explain the situation.  Others, I just tell them I have a hearing problem.  When I'm walking with someone, I walk on my good ear side.  I try to put myself in a situation where I am able to listen with my good ear, but it doesn't always work out that way.  Especially hard when you have people standing on both sides of you.  My hearing is fairly good right now, so it is not so bothersome.  I haven't had treatment yet so I don't know what I will be facing once that's done.  With my husband, I just keep telling him over and over to speak up.  I think he just forgets.  I also take control of the TV remote--MINE!!!  Hearing issues are frustrating, but it's something we have to live with.  I think if you preserve at least 50% of your hearing you can get a regular hearing aid.  If not, then you can get some other type of hearing device called a BAHA.  Others will chime in because I have no clue about the hearing aid issues.  Hang in there, and I would say be assertive. 

Nancy

[Jim Scott]

Otispie:

Hearing loss is often difficult to deal with and although we can and do compensate, it's inevitable that anyone who is SSD (Single Sided Deaf) will ' miss some things'.  I do.  Fortunately, there are special devices (BAHA - Bone Anchored Hearing Aids) to help, should this become a real problem.  I haven't had a need for one but those who have, swear by their BAHA.  I may have one some day. 

I have to echo Jan's (leapyrtwins) question as to whether you've been diagnosed with an acoustic neuroma, or are suffering from unilaterial hearing loss and suspect that you have an acoustic neuroma.  This information would help us to offer you more useful advice.  Please let us know via this forum. 

Jim