Marg:
As another AN 'survivor' that lives with SSD and it's challenges, I completely understand your frustration. Fortunately, my wife is very cognizant of my SSD and, when we're out, always remembers to sit on my hearing side. Still, noisy environments will always be tough for us SSD folks.
Last year, we attended a dinner with 4 other people at a small restaurant that, unfortunately, had a live band. Once the band started playing, my ability to hear anyone at the table was down to, maybe, 5%. I compensated as best I could by leaning over or to the side to hear people across or next to me. It was a fairly effective strategy but still, the effort was tiring and the noise continually aggravating. My wife was very sympathetic and the people we were with were aware of my SSD and talked loudly to me and/or leaned toward me as I leaned toward them so I could hear. When your dinner companions are oblivious to your SSD and diminished hearing ability and your spouse seems insensitive to your plight, that has to be very aggravating. I trust your husband will be more sensitive to your SSD in any future situations like the one your related.
In defense of spouses and friends I have to mention that if our spouse has had a partner with normal hearing for years, it has to be a bit difficult to shift gears and suddenly be aware of our hearing deficit, then make the necessary accommodations in every instance. It has to be even harder for friends, especially if we don't see them all the time. They forget. Remember, they hear just fine and very likely knew you when you had full hearing, too. They need to be more sensitive to your SSD but education takes time to implement.
I hope this won't happen again but then, I also hope we'll all win Lotto someday.
Jim