Cathy Back to Work Full Time, Exhausted & Down

[Dog Lover]

I did the 5 full days this week. Not only did I go back to work this week, but started a new position too. Not the greatest timing, but you take a promotion when you get it.

I work for a big company, and although I'm in IT, we got moved us to a very big room (think small mall proportions) with LOTS of people and noise, although you learn to tune the noise out. The first couple of days were a bit hard - between the noise, the big open room, all the people and the fatigue. The room got easier as the week went on (the fatigue didn't) and doesn't really bother me anymore.

I did screw up last weekend though. I felt SO good, and I totally overdid it. And unfortunately I have been paying for it ever since.  I think last weekend was the first time I finally felt almost totally like myself. No heavy, foggy feelings in my head, plenty of energy, very little balance issues, etc. I went to the mall and it didn't bother me anymore (I was so excited), I mowed, power washed and stained decks, etc. I could kick myself now, but at the time it just felt so good to be outside doing all the things I love to do and haven't been able to for so long...

Took Tylenol PM Sun-Thurs in order to get to sleep earlier than I normally do because I have to get up so early, but by today I'm am exhausted. I did nothing today. Sat and rested and was a couch potato. Balance is a bit worse - I"m assuming because I'm tired. I know it always gets worse when I am. And the foggy feeling is also back.     It's not horrible, but it definately feels like I've taken a step or 2 backwards. The thing is, I'm tired, but I guess not enough to nap like I could in the few weeks following the surgery. On top of it all, I haven't slept very good the past 2 nights. This morning I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't get back to sleep.

It's kinda scary, but I keep telliing myself this to shall pass. I keep doing my PT, and I feel like I'm doing good there. I just think that if I could get a couple of good nights of sleep, and was planning to sleep in this both days this weekend, that I would feel much better. I don't know - maybe between the stress of going back to work, starting a new position, getting used to that big room, and driving back and forth each day has taken it's toll on me. I keep thinking that when I first started VPT she told me that I would feel worse for about a week before I felt better. I hope that this is similar.

Guess I just needed to vent. Don't have anyone but the pups here at home to vent to, and they're not real good at talking back unless it's dinner time and the one friend that would be my biggest support and listen to me forever if she needed is going through a very awful time - her husband has 3 forms of cancer and has reached a point that is very critical and there is a possibility that he may not make it this time. I'm being her support person right now. She needs me more than I need her right now. 

Thanks for listening. I'm so down today....

Cathy

[Kaybo]

Cathy~
I am sorry today is a down day - you are definitely entitled to them (just not for too long  ).  Sounds like you need to spend the weekend lazing around or in bed.  I think that the first few weeks back at work can be like that and that is OK!!!  This is not a contest and you don't have to have the same recovery that someone else did/does.  Get some rest - sounds like your friend is going to need the best that you can give her!  One day (or week) at a time...

K

[sgerrard]

It's hard to remember sometimes, but I think we all had up and down days even before we had ANs. Having had an AN definitely makes the down days downer, but the variation is not really that surprising. As long as you take more steps forward than back, you will recover fine over time.

Steve

[MAlegant]

Hi Cathy,
My first three weeks back to work full-time were not very productive (and I was exhausted).  Search my thread and you will see and hear what I'm talking about.  I cried every Friday for three weeks straight. It is only recently that I feel like I can handle my job and some days not so much.  So, I take advantage of the days I feel good, try not to beat myself up for the days I call myself a slacker and hope that it will continue to get better and better.  I had my surgery about a month before yours so I'm a little bit ahead of you on this.  Sleep as much as you are able and listen to your body.  If you can, go in late, or go home early on the days that you need to and work like a dynamo when you have energy.  I totally get what you are saying, PM me if you want to talk more and we chat on the phone.

Wishing you only the best,
Marci

[cin605]

You guys are way ahead of me.i have a cleaning busines & there is no way i could posibly vacume 150 stairs...let alone a long hallway.I am going to have to consider a change in occupation.
looking into vestubular rehad this week after i see head n neck specialist.

[mimoore]

Hi Cathy,
It is exciting when you can do something that you haven't done in a long time and reminding yourself you had 'brain surgery' is far from your mind. You were enjoying the moment, I get that.
I hope you are feeling better today and pampering yourself with a nice hot bubble bath. Life is good just slow down girlfriend. Everyday I am feeling a bit stronger and when I over do it my body reminds me "Hello you just had brain surgery, slow down" Okay I need to be reminded every once in a while and your body is reminding you. You have lots on your plate with work let the rest slide for a bit. I am working part time right now but am going full time in January (I am scared of my lack of energy) but like you said can't say no to a promotion. I plan on working and sleeping and if my house becomes a pit then hopefully the rest of the family will kick in.
I wish you sweet dreams - sleep - sleep - sleep. It will do wonders.
Michelle 

[leapyrtwins]

Cathy -

it's normal to have ups and downs post op.  There will be days you feel great and days you feel not so great for quite some time.

The important thing is to take time and rest - even when you don't feel fatigued.  You and your body have been through a lot.  Take care of yourself.

Jan

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Cathy:

Even though I'm a day late to this thread I'll extend my hope that today finds you much better in every way. 

I think every AN post-op patient can empathize with your desire to do things that were once routine for you, require physical exertion and so, have the potential to tire you out.  Your work situation is not uncommon for many AN post-op patients (noisy environment, responsibilities, etc).  On balance, your adventure with over-exertion may have been imprudent but not reckless and of course, this is a lesson learned.  The same lesson many of us had to learn the hard way; by experience.  You're only two months out of serious skull surgery and although you seem to be having a good recovery, your body isn't quite ready to resume every strenuous activity you once handled with relative ease.  Going back to work on a full-time basis and dealing with a new position, commuting and all the inherent stresses of a responsible job seem to be quite enough for you right now.  Being busy accomplishing needed chores that you like to do is totally understandable but as you now know, there often is a physical price to be paid for jumping into these jobs and frankly, it isn't worth it.  I'm sure that you would agree.  I would suggest that once you're feeling close to normal again (and you will), tackle smaller jobs or do just one, not everything you see that needs to be taken care of.  I realize this is easier said than done.  During my post operative period my state of mind was strained by my inherent impatience and it was difficult for me to ignore doing things that needed to be done.  Fortunately, I didn't suffer any serious set-backs to my recovery by overdoing it a bit in the first few months but you don't want to erect any self-made obstacles to your otherwise good recovery.  I hope you'll be back in good form, soon. 

Jim

[Syl]

Cathy,

I've been back to work full-time for 2 months now. Just this week I felt that I wasn't totally exhausted at the end of the day. It's a long journey, but progress is definitely showing for me. It will come for you too. Hang in there and vent away for someone's always listening around here.

Syl

[Dog Lover]

Thank you all for "listening" and responding. Yes, I did learn my lesson the hard way, darn it. And I knew better, too. 

I am feeling a little better today. I ventured out for a couple hours to the grocery store and to my favorite store Kohls (which may seem weird, but walking around looking at stuff there is relaxing for me). Otherwise, I have been a couch potato again. I did sleep much better last night and plan to get to bed early again tonight.

Yes, my house is turning into a pit, but I will just have to get used to it for a while, I guess.

Cathy

[wendysig]

Hi Cathy,
Since you've learned you can't be superwoman, I'm sure you'lll be feeling better.  Sometimes the little things like housework have to wait.  My house gets to be a bit of a disaster now and then just because it's not the most important thng on my list of things to do.  My husband and kids don't seem to care  either since they don't pick up the slack unless I say something.  When this happens, I just don't have anyone in the house until I feel up to shining it up again a few days later.

Hope you're feeling better,
Wendy

[Dog Lover]

Tonight is the end of my 2nd week of back to work full time. I have to admit that I feel much better than I did a week ago. Tired, yes, but not as bad as last week. Tomorrow I'm actually planning to go pick out the "pulls" (handles) for the dresser that my dad made for me. I was supposed to do that last weekend, but my body had other plans. Maybe I can slowly work on getting my house somewhat back in order, although I will still take plenty of time to rest and take it easy. I've learned my lesson the hard way!

Cathy

[Tumbleweed]

Hi, Cathy:

I can relate to your experiences. Although I had CK and not resection surgery, my experience post-treatment was similar. I pushed myself too hard 5 days after treatment and paid the price dearly for the next week and a half. Then I had a mission-critical series of business meetings -- involving travel and long hours of work -- two weeks post-CK; I pulled it off but was profoundly exhausted for two weeks afterwards.

I did finally recover my energy during the second month post-CK and generally feel great now in that regard. But I still have an occasional low-energy day. It's to be expected. Many many people on this forum have reported a "lumpy" recovery and not consistent improvement.

Have faith your energy will continue to generally rebound. Yours was a temporary setback.

Best wishes,
Tumbleweed

[leapyrtwins]

Cathy -

glad to hear you aren't as tired from working this week as you were last week.

In my experience, this coming week should find you even less fatigued.  Recovery takes time and sometimes the fatigue really sneaks up on you.  One minute you think you're fine, and the next you desparately need a nap 

Be good to yourself and take it easy.

Jan