Translab @ House Feb 12

[Pooter]

Kate,

Great news about Matt!  Thanks for the update!  As Steve likes to say, the first 3 days don't count.. There will be lots of rest in both your futures.  Give him our best.  You're definitely in good hands at House.  Keep us updated on his progress.

Regards,
Brian

[sweetpea]

Matt came out of icu last night. He had a rough night... Didn't feel well, irritated, restless, couldn't sleep.  He isn't the same person as normal. I understand how major of surgery he had Friday. Is it normal to be this restless and sorta mean? He has been the same today. They finally gave him ambien to get him to sleep.

He is eating really well and able to get up and use the restroom to pee. 

I know it's been almost 48 hours. I am hoping by the next 24 hours he will feel better. He is hating life right now and I am clueless with how to help.

Any thoughts?

Thanks again. Yall are a big help.

Kate

[sgerrard]

Hi Kate,

It is not unusual for surgery patients to be grumpy as they recover. Sometimes it can last for several weeks. They may seem ungrateful for all the attention and care they are receiving, but it passes. It may be due to all the anesthesia and drugs, or due to a feeling of being powerless to "fix" everything right away. If he is doing well physically, just put up with Matt's mood. He will show his appreciation for you soon enough. Just not on Valentine's Day.

Steve

[wendysig]

Hi Kate,

The first few days, at least, are very rough and many patients can to be rather grumpy.  I sometimes had awful headaches for the first couple of weeks and it can (short term) bring out the worst in some of us.  He needs to be patient with himself in his recovery and your patience is the best gift you can give him right now --- hopefully things will get better for everyone soon.

Best wishes,
Wendy

[leapyrtwins]

Kate -

grumpiness can be part of the post op routine.  There are lots of reasons for it.  From personal experience, here are just a few. 

You're totally out of your element - AN surgery is MAJOR surgery and as much as the doctor has stressed this pre op, hearing about it just isn't the same as experiencing it firsthand.

You are in the hospital which means that it's hard to get to sleep because you can't get comfortable and it's hard to stay asleep because medical personnel wake you up at all hours to make sure you are okay.

The fatigue is incredible - much more consuming than I expected - and it seems like even the smallest tasks requires a nap.

I also found it extremely frustrating that while I was willing to do things I normally did, physically I just couldn't.  It takes time - and lots of patience - to get back to normal.  And oftentimes normal is now different due to balance issues, hearing issues, etc.

It's a great sign that your boyfriend is eating well - especially since hospital food usually isn't the greatest - and it's another great sign that he's getting up to use the bathroom.  These may seem like small milestones, but they are actually quite huge in the scope of things.

I think a lot of his grumpiness will leave him when he's discharged from the hospital, but it may resurface as he tries to reach more recovery milestones.

Give him our best - and try to find some time to get some rest yourself.  It will help you deal with his grumpiness and you'll be less apt to become grumpy yourself.

Jan

[Jim Scott]

Kate:

I'm sorry that Matt is having a bit of a rough time and that he is transmitting that to you with his newly-grumpy persona.  According to my wife, I was the same way, post-op.  In fact, she's confided to me that at one point, she asked the neurosurgeon if the fact that he moved my brainstem ("just a tiny bit") could be a factor in my grumpy, hyper-impatient demeanor.  He said "maybe".  Fortunately (for my marriage), my grumpy attitude eventually faded and my usual charming personality asserted itself, once again. 

Jan ('leapyrtwins') hit on many of the probable causes for Matt's newly-grumpy behavior.  The fatigue, the total disruption of his normal routine, the inconvenience of being hospitalized and tolerating the many indignities and unwanted intrusions on your sleep and the loss of control can bring out the worst in us.  It did for me, and I'm usually the epitome of sweet reasonableness.  O.K., maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but although by nature an impatient person, immediately post-op (with an excellent outcome, too) I was definitely rivaling Oscar The Grouch for being misanthropic.  As I've noted, that passed (it took quite a few weeks, in my case) and I trust it will pass, even sooner, for Matt. 

Jim

[Rick Everingham]

I can only echo much of what has been posted here.  I know I was difficult to say the least for a while.  One of the key features being that anything effort simply exhausted me, I took more naps in the first 90 days then anytime in my life.  I was 3-4 months before naps and my usual awake/bedtimes were restored.  I can also say that it does change you somewhat, plus dealing with other issues such as balance and SSD, all effect your disposition.

[LADavid]

Two days in ICU at St Vincents made me grumpy too.  I really wanted to get out of there.

[sweetpea]

Hi y'all:

Sorry for the delay in posting. Matt was discharged last Monday only to have a small setback of a cerebral spinal fluid leak that put him back into surgery last Wednesday. He got discharged again this past Saturday and is doing much better. His moods are better now that he is not on the steroids nor pain meds. With having to fix the leak, they went back into his ear to fill the whole and also had to take more fat out of his ab area. Both incisions hurt worst than the original surgery. He gets his stitches removed tomorrow (Friday) which allows us to fly home to Dallas on Saturday. YAY! This has been a short, but somehow long journey these past few weeks.

His energy is actually fairly good. We made our way down to Long Beach for a few days to get out of the LA scene. Too many cars honking at my Dallas driving. The scenery here is awesome. He doesn't have as much pain anymore, but he is curious about his "out of it" feeling. He had it before the surgery, but now it's about 10x's worse, he says. Like a 'high' type feeling. Did any of y'all experience this? And how long did it last?

Thanks again for y'all's support and comments. It makes his feeings and my feelings more normal!
kate

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Kate - and thanks for the update on Matt.

I'm pleased to learn that things are improving and Matt is now out of the hospital and recovering.  Although the Los Angeles area has it's charms  (I lived there for 2 years, decades ago), I'm sure both you and Matt will be happy to return home to Dallas.  Those CSF leaks are notoriously common and while the incisions in Matt's abdomen must have been uncomfortable, with the stitches out, he'll heal and, one hopes, this will all fade into a rapidly-retreating memory before long.     

The 'out of it' feeling is common, post-op.  I had it, too, and I had a complication-free surgery.  I think it's a combination of anesthesia 'hangover', being in bed (inactivity) for days and, of course, the fact that our skull was opened up, (sometimes) our cerebellum moved (mine was) and the overall disassociation from normal life that being hospitalized and anesthetized can induce. My best advice, based on my experience, is that this will pass.  Matt will need rest (lots of naps) but he should try to be as active, within reason, as possible.  This will help re-acclimate him to normalcy, as long as he doesn't get too impatient and overdo it.  I'm sure you'll be a big help to him, but don't try to 'mother' him as he 'll likely resent that.  My loving wife was just a bit too solicitous when I came home from the hospital, following my surgery.  Frankly, I was anxious to get back to my normal life and resented - what I wrongly considered - her 'over-attentiveness'.   Fortunately, I was able to return to normalcy fairly quickly and within a few months, my usual sanguine disposition returned.  We're still married.    I think that you and Matt will also get through this just fine. 

Jim

               

[sweetpea]

Thanks, y'all. He's still having issues with a leak from his incision. He is at UT Southwestern meeting with a surgeon (who actually did his fellowship at House) right now because his incision started leaking. Friday he had his stitches removed, a leak was discovered that night and back to hospital Saturday morning. And now this a few days later.

I hope they can get this leak under control without another surgery. I feel bad for him!

He is pretty active and while he likes me to do things for him, he is doing a lot of things himself, within reason. He's not lifting/pushing anything. He just hates the idea of sitting around now doing much.

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Kate:

Please accept our appreciation for your updates on Matt.  We can all sympathize with your boyfriend going through the hassle of an incision leak and share your hope that this latest bump in the road to his recovery will be easily surmounted and Matt can continue to heal and recover.  I can understand his aversion to 'sitting around'.  I'm a lot older than Matt but I hate that, too.  I can only imagine how frustrating it would be for a young man.  I'm sure your help and encouragement are providing solace for your guy.  Keep it up - and keep looking ahead.  This will pass.

Jim

[sweetpea]

Hey Jim,

They admitted him last night and put in a lumbar drain in his spinal cord. He'll  be in the hospital about a week now. I am hoping they can get this issue under control. I'd hate for him to have surgery again with a shunt installed.

Thanks for the encouragement! In the spectrum of things, this is a small bump, but it seems like a mountain right now. I feel for him.

Thanks!
Kate

[Pooter]

Kate,

Bummer about going back in for a lumbar drain..  You're right that this is but a temporary bump in the road.  The drain should help relieve the pressure of CSF and allow where it's leaking to heal.  You both are in our thoughts during this time.  Keep strong.  He'll get through this and so will you.

Regards,
Brian

[bdsgurl]

Hi kate...i will respond to your email later on today, ive been a busy bee this weekend...but i wanted to ask, how is Matt doing? Any news?