I really like what you said, Barbara. Sometimes we don't understand where someone is "coming from." And sometimes we may never know. What makes some people respond readily and with great compassion, and others~~whom we expect to be there for us in a big way~~don't seem to respond well at all? And it seems that this happens to so many people, too. My own experience was that almost everyone responded so wonderfully, so that the couple of people who didn't respond stuck out. One was a previously close cousin who to this day has not mentioned my surgery, even though she had my ear (oh, what a bad pun!) through her two hip surgeries and the death of her husband.
My sister, who was with me and my husband in L.A., acted strangely quiet and, to me, almost uncaring leading up to my surgery, but afterwards was totally compassionate and caring. I still don't know why, but have mostly decided that she was struggling with it all.
The good thing about this forum is that people lucky enough to find it pre-surgery, or in w/w, can learn from all of the many experiences talked about here. (I wish I'd known about it pre-surgery!)
![Smiley :)](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/smiley.gif)
The best to you/everyone,
Kathy