What to expect!

[DarleneN]

Hi Folks,

My son, Paul, is scheduled to have retrosig surgery to remove his 3.5 cm AN tumor on January 21, 2010, which is coming up very soon now!  I will be going up to help take care of him and his sons, ages 6 and 4 years old, while he is recovering.  His wife is an accountant.  Since this is her busy time of the year, she probably won't be able to get time off.  I'm hoping to be able to go to a motel close by shortly after his wife gets home from work and return before she leaves the next day--to give us all a break!  Is that reasonable?  What will Paul likely be like after his surgery?  Any ideas to prepare me for what I'm in for!!

Thanks,
Darlene

[Adrienne]

My mom flew in and basically did the same job you're about to do.  My hubby spent every day at the hospital with me, and she stayed behind and watched our 2 kids (5 and 9 at the time).  She was a LIFESAVER.  She basically just did everything that I would normally do.  Laundry, cooking, kids off to school, light tidying, etc.  She stayed for 3 weeks.  She didn't necessarily need to do anything for ME specifically, other than run the household (!!!).  I spent a lot of time the first few days sleeping and/or resting.  She came with me for short walks when I was feeling up to it.  He also isn't going to be able to drive for a while, so if you can drive him to follow up appts, etc. (ie: stitches out, pain med run, etc) that would be helpful.

I hope Paul doesn't have too many balance issues post surgery.  If he does, that may change the game a bit.  I was lucky and didn't need my mom for balance help to get to/from the washroom or anywhere-so maybe that will change the game a bit.  Hopefully someone else can speak specifically to that issue.

Good luck to Paul!  What a great help you will be.  How nice that you're able to go assist!

Adrienne

[leapyrtwins]

Darlene -

my mom moved in with me and my children for 6 weeks post op and like Adrienne's mom she was a lifesaver.  I'm a single parent and I honestly couldn't have gotten through my surgery and my recovery without her, my father, and one of my sisters.

My children were 10 at the time and in 5th grade, so my mom's chief responsibilities were "managing" them and their schedules (homework, after school activities, etc.,) playing chauffeur to them - and to me when I had to go to a doc appt., and when I returned to work (before I started driving again) - and she was also the person who kept our household running.  She did laundry, cooked, cleaned, etc. 

I'd imagine that your daughter-in-law will take care of most of the household chores, but since she works you'll be instrumental in taking care of your young grandsons.  Your son's biggest issues when he returns home will probably be balance and fatigue.  Also, he may be sensitive to loud noises and he will have restrictions on lifting heavy things and putting his head below his knees (basically bending at the waist). 

Being there for him - and for your daughter-in-law - is one of the best things you can do for him, in my opinion.

Jan

[pjb]

I have nothing further to add others said exactly what to expect I just wanted to offer my prayers for your son's upcoming surgery.

Regards,

Pat

[alicia]

I have just read your posts and agree that your doing a great thing!  You son will need someone around and then his wife can go to work knowing he will be safe.  Napping alot, taking walks, eating regularly, and relaxing will be the most important.  Hang in there.  My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks in CA and 3 weeks once we got back home.  All that time was not completely needed, but she is from out of town and needed to know her baby was "out of the woods" before she left.  Just ask if you want more specifics 
Alicia