Which is worse?

[ppearl214]

Denise,

I apologize for being late in chiming in on this thread, as I was in treatment last week and am trying to catch up on all here.  Anything other than what others have shared here will be senseless, but know that I chime in with the love and support you so need at this time.   I have also learned that venting is great... actually, manditory, in handling all stresses in our lives. Nothing I could say right now can help with the anquish you are feeling but I can share this.... that I thank the lord each day that I awake with a lung full of breath, just as you do.  I thank the lord that I am loved, just as you are loved.  I thank the lord that it's truly ok to feel this way, just as you do. I thank the lord for the wonderful folks here on this site that encourage us to hang tough, gives us huggles (sorry batty!) when needed, listen, console and truly extend open arms when we need them.

Know that I do walk with you, as we all do.  Know that we remain here to support you if you need us.. or even if you don't.... but know that we are all part of your family and family is thicker than anything... we are the one's that truly do understand.

Please hang in there.. and know that I'm sending wishes and thoughts your way that tomorrow will be a brighter one.

xoxox
Phyl

[positive]

Denise, I do understand how you are feeling.  I have gone through the same emotions and feelings....Why me? 
When I returned to work people starred and giggled as if something was wrong with me.  Is it a crime to be sick?

But I try to think of all that I have to be thankful for.

Maybe you can limit where you go for a while until you feel more confident.

I don't have an answer but I do know that this is grieving process.  We have lost something that we may or may not be able to reclaim. 
My heart goes out to you and I hope that you will find peace soon. 

Love you.

[DeniseSmith]

Again, thank you so much for the support!   

I am still very angry about my situation.  I have set up an appointment with a counselor and will be seeing her on the 25th. Hopefully, I will find some way to deal with all of this. 

I think my anger over my situation is adversely affecting my relationship with my family.  It seems my sister that i am closest to, i have four, is the only person who answers me honestly when I am upset.  She doesn't sugar coat anything, but she is tactful and supportive.   I am lucky to have her. 

I will be on the phone call tonight and look forward to talking to the ladies of AN. 

I think I need to get a punching bag and put it in my basement, and kick the sh-t out of it when i am angry.  Maybe even print out that disgusting picture of the AN from one of the previous threads and tape it on the bag! HA HA! Wouldn't that be fun!   Okay, so now you probably think i am some psycho violent person.  I really am not.  I am just frustrated.  I was told 12-18 months and I should be seeing some improvement, well its just short of 12 months and I still look bad.   Okay, i will quite whinning.   

Thanks again for listening to me and for the supportive emails and comments.

Denise   

[ppearl214]

Hey Denise,

SOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to saying hi to you tonight!

xoxoxoxo
Phyllis

[Gennysmom]

Denise....I like the punching bag idea....good plan, you should go for it, really!!!!  I think it would be very cathartic.