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Author Topic: How did you cope with waiting?  (Read 3007 times)

michelle

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How did you cope with waiting?
« on: May 21, 2010, 10:38:02 am »
I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm going about my normal routine, and trying to be the best mommy and wife I can be. The truth is though that I feel terrible, and I'm so preoccupied with these weird issues.

I have a constant headache in the lower part of my head behind my right ear. I can't stand the "Thud, thud, thud" in my right ear when I walk fast/ run/ bounce. It feels like my ear drum is detached or something and is bouncing up and down in my ear. The pressure is also getting worse and worse. Plus, this creepy sensation when I turn my head to the right really worries me. I hear/feel a grinding, squishing feeling at the base of my skull and up to my right ear. I hate this.

I called the primary dr. who sent me to the audiologist to check and see how the ENT referral is going. His nurse said he has not had a chance to send the referral yet! She said once he puts in the referral, it takes 7-10 business days to be approved. After that, I'll get a letter in the mail with the info for the ENT my insurance has approved and the info to call and make an appointment. Then, who knows how long it will take to actually be SEEN by the ENT?

I really just want to know what is going on. I just want all of this to go away, and I just want to feel well and normal. I can't stand this. :-(

I'm probably just venting to no one, but I have tried not to share any of this with anyone other than my hubby (and even downplaying my symptoms to him) and I can't stand keeping my fears all bottled up inside.

Now I'm going to go take some more tylenol/motrin/sudafed and work hard to enjoy the day with my kids when all I want to do is crawl into bed with a pillow over my head and sleep for a week.

-Michelle
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CHD63

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Re: How did you cope with waiting?
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2010, 10:45:53 am »
Michelle .....

So glad you vented to us.  This is one of the big pluses to this forum ...... we all understand the terror you are experiencing.  Waiting for the unknown to become known is probably the most stressful part of this whole journey.

Take slow, deep breaths and really try hard to focus on all of the good and positive things in your life right now ..... and keep yourself as busy as you are able to ...... diversion is a wonderful way to make time pass faster.  Right now you feel like you are walking in slow motion and nothing is being done.  However, it sounds like you have placed the "wheels in motion" for some answers.  It is so hard to be patient when you have such troubling, ever present symptoms.  We understand.

Now with the weather basically nice, try to get outdoors and enjoy your children.

Many thoughts and prayers.

Clarice
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Right MVD for trigeminal neuralgia, 1994, Pittsburgh, PA
Left retrosigmoid 2.6 cm AN removal, February, 2008, Duke U
Tumor regrew to 1.3 cm in February, 2011
Translab AN removal, May, 2011 at HEI, Friedman & Schwartz
Oticon Ponto Pro abutment implant at same time; processor added August, 2011

michelle

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Re: How did you cope with waiting?
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2010, 10:52:14 am »
Thanks so much for your quick reply Clarice!

I live in Los Angeles, Ca, so thankfully the weather here is almost always nice. :-) It is beautiful right now, and I have noticed that being outside with my little ones and enjoying them gets my mind off of other things. I have found that I feel much better after going swimming, so maybe we'll do that today!

My biggest fear, is that it's something more serious. Not an AN (which would still be horrible, as all of you are experiencing and I'm so sorry for that), but something life-threatening or more serious or something. I know that it's completely irrational, but I can't help but be fearful. I just want to know what's going on.

Thanks again so much for allowing me to vent my fears and frustrations here.

-Michelle
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Lizard

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Re: How did you cope with waiting?
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2010, 12:10:04 pm »
Michelle,
I'm sorry to hear you are still waiting for answers, but try to enjoy your beautiful children and the pristine weather.  Its hard because you can't turn the fear and anxiety off, but if you are distracted by your lovely children it might help some.  Also, I know you've stopped running because you can't stand the thud, but what about riding a bike. Even a stationary bike at the gym might get those endorphins kicking and may even give you some relief.
Hang in there I know its tough, but I'm still hoping you don't have an AN and its just something small and completely manageable.
And please do vent to us, we totally understand.
Liz

 :)
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Left AN 2.5CM,retrosigmoid 11/2008, second surgery to repair CSF leak. 
Headaches began immediately.  Dr. Ducic occipital nerve resection, December 2011!!!!!

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TJ

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Re: How did you cope with waiting?
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2010, 12:42:04 pm »
Michelle,

I know that waiting the unknown is very difficult to say the least.  But if you can take a deep breath and realize that whatever it is, you can find the correct doctor and get the correct care.  Also please know that when you do get your answers, take time to make the right decision.

Take Care
TJ
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michelle

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Re: How did you cope with waiting?
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2010, 09:41:07 am »
Thanks for all of the replies. I'm doing better with waiting right now. I had a nice weekend with my family, and I'm determined to just focus on them and enjoying them while I wait to find out what's going on with me. It's definitely frustrating though!

Thanks for all of the caring responses and good advice.

-Michelle
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