Rich and Scarlett,
Thank you so much for your well wishes - I can't tell you how much it really does make a difference. Thanks!
My CK ended up being moved up to yesterday (Tuesday, July 20th), today and tomorrow. On my first day, when we were taken to the room where I would lay for treatment and saw the robot - I started crying - I think it was the first time that I let my body feel wholeheartedly that I have a brain tumor and that I was about to receive radiation treatment for it.
and then came the preparation of laying down. was kindly offered warm blankets, but then i was strapped onto the table - two straps across my arms/body. it would have been nice to be given the heads up about the straps - it definitely felt surprising and a bit suffocating at first. and then the putting on of the mask, which thankfully I am not claustrophobic. The making of the mask is one thing, the wearing it for about an hour is another - and crying quietly for a little bit at the beginning didnt help - tears would just run down my face into my ears.
i have to say that oddly, when i could see the ck machine at my face, i sorta expected to see a ray of light (the radiation) go towards my head. of course, that didn't happen, but i did feel like i was in a scifi movie.
making my own cd mix made a huge difference - i just let myself be lost in the music and then before i knew it, treatment for the day was over. treated myself to a double hot chocolate in the lobby area and my friend drove us home.
i felt pretty tired on the way home, and then a few hours later, the right side of my face went numb, my jaw hurt on the right side, my ear felt popped (could not unpop it) and the ringing in my ears got worse and louder. told the radiation oncologist (dr. wara - which I cannot say enough good things about - he is absolutely phenomenal - within all of my medical experiences - he has the most amazing bed side manor and ability to share information and receive questions with compassion.) and the neurosurgeon (dr. tse) and they decided to give me a dose of decadron (steriods) after treatment today - to reduce the symptoms that i was experiencing from early onset of probably swelling.
after today's treatment, my symptoms were worse within the hour after treatment, took two tylenol, took away some of the discomfort i was having and then i passed out for a few hours. when i woke up the pain had subsided and the decadron also started to kick in - feeling pretty good right now. slight numbness feeling still there, but no where close to where it was, the ringing has also lessened.
one more day to go...
i hope that it was okay that i wrote all of this out on here... for some reason or another, it makes it feel more like reality that i can deal with - rather than an experience that i just keep to myself...
