Hi ~
Your concerns are very typical when faced with an acoustic neuroma diagnosis. No one wants to make a wrong decision that may result in facial paralysis or other vexing issues. Doctor's will not make such a decision because it would, as Jan succinctly stated, make them liable to a lawsuit should anything go wrong, later. Ethically, as a competent adult, you - the patient - retain the prerogative to make such an important decision, not the doctor. Simply put: it's your body. The difficult aspect of having this responsibility is that any form of treatment carries some risk, due to the critical location of the tumor. There is no 'easy' choice. I wish there were.
In my case, by the time my AN was discovered, it was far too large for radiation and removing it surgically had become close to urgent. My neurosurgeon, well-experienced with ANs, offered a detailed plan for 'debulking' (reducing it's size and cutting off it's blood supply) then radiating the AN to avoid facial nerve damage. He posed this plan as his choice, in his words "if you decide to hire me". That kind of humility (from a mature, admired and respected neurosurgeon) and attention to detail (he had the plan ready when I arrived at his office, 24 hours after making a next-day appointment) convinced me of this doctor's compassion and concern. His credentials were impeccable (a part-time Yale med school instructor) and his experience removing ANs went back over 30 years. In short, he was an AN 'pro'. I hired him, he performed the debulking surgery with no complications and the planned follow-up radiation (FSR) went smoothly. My recovery was excellent and remains so, 4 years later. Of course, one person's experience doesn't guarantee another AN patient's will be the same - and I'm not claiming that. I simply wanted to point out that if you focus on what procedure will be best for your situation (not simply convenient) and, above all, retain a doctor that is highly experienced with ANs and respects your concerns (as my neurosurgeon did) you should be fine with your decision and regain some peace of mind, once the choice has been made. I hope these forums and whatever material you receive from the ANA will help you make that crucial treatment decision. Just know that, whatever you decide, we'll be here to support and encourage you. We don't second-guess or criticize another AN patient's treatment decision because we understand how difficult and personal that decision is. I hope you'll be able to make yours soon and get past this arduous period of your AN experience, as I know you will.
Jim