I think Bennie may have been a gift too ... I slowed down for a minute or two to absorb the news then went on with life ... after surgery a great deal changed but I plowed on even when I didn't feel like it ... I have learned a lot about the people around me by the noting the people who are no longer around me ... fair weather friends who when a problem arouse disappeared ... who needs them if they are not there when you really need them ... I have always been a very patient person ... that has been tested and wins most days ... even when moaning and groaning here about hearing , headaches , bad doctors , insurance etc ... I go on ... even when I maybe should slow down ...
I have learned that many who need a helping hand or friendly ear at times of crisis don't get it and try to help there as I can ... have always helped with causes that mean something to me ... now more into that ... Relay for Life , Heart Walks , St Jude’s ... and I am teaching my girls (not just the ones I gave birth to but my girl scout troop) to be more aware of those around them ... people have problems and if we can help some way we should ... be it the stuffed bears and pillow cases we made for the children’s ward at the hospital or the money raised for a local man with not insurance suffering from lung cancer ...make a difference where you can
this forum has given me more support than I have gotten from people around me and has shown me that people do care ... we are a select group and few people even know what an AN is , so not sure how to react so many retreat and avoided me … this has changed some since they have learned that aside from the wobble and inability to speak in clear sentences at times , I am still Me …changed but for most part Me
and I learned kids are great ... not just mine ... when school started back I got more hugs and high fives from the kids at school than I can count ... I had kept the AN and secret and very few people knew ... the night before my surgery , one teacher who did know emailed the whole school email list which includes parents on the email update list and asked for prayers ... I didn't know she did this until after surgery and people called ... parents told their kids and word passed I was OK … when school returned in August I was swamped by kids with hugs and high fives and questions …with my new balance issues being only a month our , this became a time I had to sit down and let little ones crawl all over me and older ones stop to squeeze a hand or give a high five or hug my shoulders … it was a bit embarrassing but felt good to …just knowing that these kids who range from great to driving me nuts cared … after hugs came the requests to see the scar
...kids ... what can I say
I am still learning to except what I can no longer do as I once did and finding new ways to do them …just bought a walking pole that looks like a ski pole … $13 at Wal-Mart in sporting goods …it has a spiked tip instead of the flat tip on my walking stick … going to attempt walking down hill with it , something I can’t do with out tumbling … not talking gentle downhill but steep hillsides on farm … will take husband along to put my hand on his back as a guide down if needed if the pole doesn’t work …
For me , my AN has been a gift , a hindrance or annoyance …but mostly a learning tool
