back to work

[patbiedermann]

well, I have made it through the first two weeks (fulltime hours) of work.  I am very tired.  I pretty much don't do anything once I get home in the afternoons.  There are times I just go to bed!  While it feels good to use my brain (I'm really surprised at how much I remember), it's been a difficult adjustment.  My "boss" and I use that term loosely (there are issues there) has failed to update on a lot of changes that took place during my absence, so at times I look really stupid because I don't know of the changes.  I have found that I have trouble getting across to people.  I know what I want to say, but it doesn't come out the way I want it to.  It is really frustrating.  I am not one to give up but have started wondering if going back to work was the right thing to do.  I love my job (at least the work I do), but I am beginning to wonder.  I see my Neurosurgeon on March 61th, and plan on talking to him about it.  Lately, I don't want to do anything but cry.  I feel like I am failing.  I did agree to give myself time to see if I can do my job.  Does anyone have any suggestions how long I should give myself?
Any encouragement/support is very much appreciated

[ombrerose4]

Hi,

You did not mention how long ago you had surgery and how long you were home recuperating. Everyone heals differently and our return to work is affected by many conditions. I am almost 2 1/2 yrs post op and only returned to work about 6 mos. ago. I had several post op problems, with the worst one being daily post op headaches. Many of us also feel more fatigued after surgery or have balance issues. You are not failing at anything- YOU ARE STILL HEALING and it is okay to cry!!! You just had major surgery and and as all of us who have been there know, you will have good days, bad days and better days. Please do not be so hard on yourself, take a deep breath, look in the mirror, smile and say "I am a survivor and I will get through this". We are all here for you, us ANers' stand together to support and encourage each other.

[CHD63]

I totally agree.  Each of us heals at a different rate and it is so tempting to measure ourselves against the "over-achievers."

Many on this forum will agree that it is an up and down recovery ..... not necessarily steadily uphill.  Some days I feel great ..... energetic and able to tackle big projects.  Some days are not so great ..... want to rest and/or sleep.  This is my body telling me it still needs time to recover and regroup.

Much of returning back to work is the type of work you do and/or responsibilities that go along with it that may be stressful.  I'm sure you know that if you are stressed at work, your brain is going to react by temporarily "shutting down" to rest itself.  This is normal.  That is part of a "fight or flight" reaction.

If you can, see if there are points during your work day where you can take a break away from the stress to do some deep breathing and consciously relax each part of your body (everyone has to go to the bathroom now and then  ).  If the stress is just too much, perhaps you can temporarily reduce the number of hours at a time you are working.

Many thoughts and prayers.

Clarice