Booked for surgery in 3-6 weeks

[dragonmama]

Well, I hoped to avoid this, but my AN has more than doubled in the last 18 months, so we're booking surgery. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with the fear? I don't want to send my family over the deep end in the lead up to the surgery.

[kmr1969]

DM,

Best wishes for a successful surgery.

Where are you going for surgery?

I had a lot of anxiety leading up to my surgery.  The best advice I can give you is to stay busy.  Work on your plans for your recovery and get all the loose ends tied up around your house.  Do some fun things with your friends and family.

Also, check out setting up a caringbridge page so that you can easily keep in touch with all of your supporters.  The messages my wife and I got before, during, and after my surgery were awesome.

Hang in there and hope to see a post from you soon that all went well.

Ken

[mk]

Hi Gael,

I am sorry to hear that you had growth.

I agree that keeping busy helps. You will have so many things to take care of, which can help keep your mind off the actual surgery. It also gives you some sense of control on things that you can actually control, such as organizing things around the house etc.

Regarding family, we kept everything simple for the kids. i.e. mommy has something in her ear and the doctors must remove it. Obviously it is important to share your thoughts and fears with adults in your family, if you think that you can find the support that you need. I must point out also that this forum is great for this kind of support, so take advantage of it.

Marianna

[dragonmama]

Any practical ideas for preparing would be appreciated. I'm going to make and freeze some meals so it's easy for hubby to feed us after the surgery. What other kinds of things have people done?

[Chances3]

Hi Dragonmamma,

Marianna mentioned this site - she couldn't be more right.  I had a ugly recovery, but the understanding and support people showed on this site was the encouragement that kept me hopeful.

Dealing with our emotions is not an easy thing, particularly fear.  My dentist used to tell me he had patients who were frightened to go to the dentist until they were in agony.  Facing brain surgery is obviously a lot different than the dentist.  First and foremost, realize that these operations are going on all the time, so you have to not dwell on any particular outcome, but realize that you're in good hands with the medical team you have chosen.  Second thing, it is a bit of a gut check, we're asked to be strong, and it's your turn in this stage of your life to be strong.  You will amaze yourself how strong you can really be.  Third, have a really good support system with your family and friends, they will help you through this.  Finally, if you're a person of faith, seek out God in prayer to help give you the tools to handle this.  I hope my post was of some help.  I will pray for you, to have the courage for this, and for a speedy recovery.

God Bless.

[dragonmama]

Thanks all!

Ken - I hear you about staying busy - looking around for all the practical things I can do to keep my mind of things.

Marianna - am trying to keep it simple for my kids. I did tell them to expect my eyes to be teary as I leak out my stress. My younger daughter knows all about how tears flush out the stress hormones, so she knows it's a good way to calm down and doesn't get worried.

Chances3, I am praying and welcome your prayers too. Thanks so much for these words of wisdom "First and foremost, realize that these operations are going on all the time, so you have to not dwell on any particular outcome, but realize that you're in good hands with the medical team you have chosen." - I will make this my mantra!!

As I was telling my friend today, hubby and I both have families that tend to look at all the pitfalls and risks and dwell on where things can go wrong. By some (fortuitous) chance, just last month after my MRI, I suddenly realized that like with driving, if we focus too much at where we don't want to end up, we can unintentionally steer ourselves that way. I've been telling myself "steer for the clear road" or "drive to where it's sunny and pleasant" ever since.