Hi Kevin,
My experience did involve facial nerve so I will respond to your questions,, I did have AN not facial nerve tumor however, my tumor had grown into facial nerve so it was "sacrificed" to get the tumor out completely,,,
Truth is, it is not easy to deal with as you have indicated, I was very depressed after awakening to facial paralysis ,, I knew it was a possibility but not inevitable,, it took me quite awhile to adjust,, just being blunt here,,, I did have the 12/7 nerve graft 4 days after AN surgery,, I am assuming Dr has discussed this with you, if not ask him/her about it,, this will give you the possibility of regaining movement in you face over time ,, it is 12-18 months before the nerve regenerates so it is a VERY long process that requires that you develop patience and not expect "miracles" to happen quickly,,, again, this is what I experienced and was told would happen ,, not medical advice, I am not a Dr,,,I also had a gold weight implanted in my eyelid to help it close correctly ,, next week I have surgery to have it removed as Dr thinks I have regained enough facial movement to close it on my own,, I am very hopeful he is correct! It has been two years this month since my surgery but at rest you would hardly know anything is wrong with my face, my eye does close when I eat due to tongue movement controlling my AN side of face now,, and when I talk I look (to me anyway) kinda like a pirate ,,
,, the AN side of mouth does not open yet all the way and may never be quite what I'd like,,, however,,,, after much soul searching in the early months,, I have come to realize it could be much worse,,,, I have a wonderful support system in my family,, husband, kids, and grandchildren,, who still love me as is mad have been wonderful to push me through the hard times..
I am not saying this will be easy AT ALL,, but not impossible to adjust to either,,, just have reasonable expectations going in,, talk to your Dr and get all the info you can, and be resolved to the fact that you have a journey to take that is going to be long and hard but not undoable,,,,, talk this over with your fiancé and involve that person in the process and LET that person help you through it,, don't shut out the people who love you,,,,you will need the love and support of those who care for and love you now more than ever,, and they will be there for you,,, I wish you the very best,, I have been in your shoes and like many on here ,have made it through to the other side as a "postie" now and you will too!! I don't mean to scare you or "sugar-coat" the experience,, just my personal thoughts on what I have been through,,, you can PM me if you have other questions or if I can help,,,
Jane