Sheri,
I live in a suburb of Rochester and first went to URMC for testing due to hearing loss and fullness of the ear. My initial doctor was Dr. Wayman who diagnosed me with age related hearing loss and told me to come back in a year for a follow-up hearing test. After reading up on possible causes I setup an appointment with Dr. Crane (also at URMC) a month later for a 2nd opinion, requesting a MRI to rule out an AN. He agreed and ordered it. I have a bad taste for Dr. Wayman due to his initial misdiagnosis, but this is just my personal experience. Your experience sounds different, so maybe he has become more cautious.
Due to the low volume of AN patients in this area, I chose to go to the House Clinic in Los Angeles with Dr. Slattery (Neurotologist) and Dr. Schwartz (Neurosurgeon). Dr. Crane told me they only perform a few AN surgeries per year in Rochester, while high volume sites perform hundreds per year. Statistics show that high volume sites typically have the best outcomes, so I would strongly suggest you consider this if you can. Dr. Crane understood my decision and was more than happy to continue seeing me at URMC after surgery as my local physician. Dr. Schwartz is now back to working with Dr. Friedman at UC San Diego (
https://medschool.ucsd.edu/som/surgery/news-events/Pages/Rick-Friedman-and-Marc-Schwartz-to-Lead-Acoustic-Neuroma-Center-.aspx), who I believe are the best high volume AN physicians in the country, if not the world. Dr. Schwartz also provided me with stats on his results for my sized AN, which were very very good.
If you choose the radiosurgery path, Dr. Lunsford at UPMC would be a top choice.
The way the surgery worked at the House was that my wife and I flew to LA the day before the surgery and flew back about 10 days after due to a post-op appointment. Dr. Slattery (my Neurotologist) was away at a conference, otherwise it would have been shorter. The size of my AN was a little bit smaller than yours and I have had a great recovery. The flight was not an issue and I was able to continue recovering when I returned home. However, the trip did require my wife to work remotely from Los Angeles for the 10 days.
Feel free to PM me if you like. It is a difficult decision and pros/cons to each path.
I've not been to the local ANA meeting, but as suggested it would be a good source of information.