Hi Donna,
I wish you quickly go in and out of the surgery. While my post is, expressively not a medical advice, what I can tell based on my experience:
* 3 cm tumor is not small so micro-surgery is the best bet you can have.
For my 2.7 cm tumor, I consulted 6 doctors and only one said that he will partially debulk the tumor and then use Gamma-Knife (GK aka Cyber-Knife) to treat the tumor in order to protect facial nerve. 5 other surgeons said they will try to take out the maximum possible safely and will not go for GK because the tumor has creeped into my cerebellum and using GK could be damaging.
Preserving facial nerve should be your primary concern
Since every AN individual is different hence you should discuss this with your surgeon(s) in depth that how they intend to protect it. For example, in my case one surgeon said partial debulking while the surgeon who did the surgery said he was able to remove about 90% of the tumor in order to preserve the nerve. However, post-op 51 days my right part of face is still paralyzed.
Surgery approach
There are 3 approaches to the surgery and they are 1) retrosigmoid, 2) middle fossa, and 3) translabyrinthine -- approach is selected based on individual case and have their own upsides and downsides. Discuss with your surgeon which approach he is using, why and what are possible outcomes in terms of hearing loss and facial palsy.
Audiography
See if you can go for audiography tests before and after surgery to establish hearing loss.
Post-op
My story is in the link in my signatures but in short, I had mild level of hearing loss which is totally gone after surgery. I am living with facial palsy and since surgery day, I have no improvement at all. Still hopeful to recover as my surgeon told me recovery will start in about 4 to 6 months...
Children care, etc.
My employer was supportive and gave me 45 days off and even then offered me to work half days (at full pay); everything was covered by insurance and I had to drop my children (4 in total, three school going; one 18 months) at grandparents house who took care of them.
Hope my response helps. Good luck!