Hi pudding! Thank you for posting on the ANA Forums!
Just having the diagnosis of acoustic neuroma is enough for many, many men and women to have very serious emotional issues. There are many people who have posted on these boards who have shared how they needed to seek professional counseling to help them through the challenges, not only of the diagnosis, but also of the treatment and its after effects. As you know, pudding, there are tremendous benefits to having help from a professional to guide a person through the difficult journey of having an acoustic neuroma and sometimes quite serious results.
The problem is that you, as his wife, may not be the person who can convince him to seek professional care. The more you push him to do it, the more he may resist. The greatest thing you can do is to listen to his frustrations and show him love and support. That is not easy to do when he is nasty to you. You yourself might benefit from seeking counseling to help you deal with this situation because what you are dealing with as a spouse is very challenging.
What I hope would happen is that someone who is close to him (like a very good friend) would encourage him to seek emotional care and that seeking such care is not a failure as a man, but is the smartest thing to do when a person faces the difficulties of an acoustic neuroma and its after effects.
Best wishes for both you and your husband!
Don