Life beyond treatment

[Raydean]

The words " you have a tumor" touches every part of a person's being.  Physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I don't think anyone ever forgets the early days of diagnoses.  The shock, fears of the known and the unknown, struggling with the decision making process of Doctors and treatment options.  The search for unbias information. It's a very stressful time period.  It's hard to see life beyond the AN. 

Those that  have had treatment or have chosen wait and watch and are further along on this journey often see ourselves in the postings of the newly diagnosed.  In the replies i see wisdom, compassion and understanding.  What hasn't been shared is our lifes beyond treatment, or life living with a AN if wait and watch is option chosen.

My question is "How how your life been changed for the better?"  What lessons or things have you  learned about yourself or your life that has changed you for the better because of the AN journey.

All the best
Raydean

 

[becknell]

Hi, Raydean. Thanks for making this post. I have actually been thinking about this particular issue for some time now. My husband has a 3.5 cm tumor, diagnosed on Memorial Day. After a summer of visiting doctors and doing research, we have scheduled his surgery for Aug. 22 at Duke University. Before the diagnosis, we were a busy family with 2 children, often going in 4 different directions. Life was stressful, but good. But the diagnosis has forced us to focus more on each other and our lives together. I love my husband so much and I will never, ever take our lives together for granted again! Also, we have found compassion and strength in the people around us -- at work, at church, in our neighborhood. And we are grateful for that. It's made us focus on what's important, and we don't sweat the small stuff. We still have a journey ahead with treatment and recovery, but we'll do it together. We just appreciate each other so much more. And for that, I am grateful! Jennifer

[russ]

Hi Raydean

  I'd love to be positive but honestly can't think of a thing for "the better" right now. Maybe increased psychic pain tolerance and increased ability to endure medical testing?
  Take care!
  Russ

  PS  Hi Chet!!

[becknell]

Certainly, it has been an emotionally draining experience, to say the least! I'd not volunteer for it. But I'm one who wants to look on the bright side. And I've seen how wonderful and supportive the people around us are. And I've found strength inside me that I didn't know I had. All along, my husband and I have said to each other that it could be worse - it could be maligant and his time could be limited. That it's not (malignant) is something we'll be forever grateful for, no matter what happens. My husband has never once felt sorry for himself or been angry or asked why me? He has never lost his sense of humor, either. And that's really admirable, I think. 

[steph]

I had my daughters two year old birthday party yesterday, last year at this time i wondered if I would be here to celebrate her next birthday, that is what gets me thru. I have really bad days and I would not have chosen this given the choice but I am trying to make this experience worth it, to enjoy every day I have on this earth and to let the little things go. we have been blessed with the opportunity to see who are true friends are and how much people truly love us. this is a gift.
I dont feel like this everyday and some days are harder than others to remind myself of it but I work hard at it.

[wanderer]

well I probably wouldn't have chosen it.   But it makes one heck of a story.    All great people need a story.   Overcoming the great obstacle makes people look on in awe.


No one though much about lance armstrong until after cancer.  Now he is on top. because he went on to do something.

I now am just looking for the next chapter of my story.   I can tell it's gonna be interesting.

[gemaste]

I am 5 days post surgery,  Gemaste
I will say that everything has changed after my surgery. 
I will never look at the same old things the sameway.
I will look at them much better.........
I will appreciate them much more.....................
i will be a much better person....................
I am 100% Deaf in the right side and very dizzy when walking and consider myself very lucky. 
I give the Lord all the credit     It could have been a lot worse

Gemaste

[luv2teachsped]

Loved your post!!  Only when we are looking for the better, will we see it!  I went through a difficult divorce at the same time as my surgery.  I too found my friends were right there when I needed them.   I am a special education teacher who has always advocated for my students.  I am not "hearing impaired" and have to advocate for my self too.   A very tough thing to do!   Losing my hearing in one ear has taught me to be a better listener,to listen to others, to my self and most of all to God.God does have his hand in everything.    luv2teach

[becknell]

gemaste - how are you doing? I have been thinking about you and cookiesecond as you were supposed to have your surgeries Aug. 2. was praying for you on that date. Hope you are recovering well. Jennifer

[sonshine]

I am one to try and look positive at most things and after my AN surgeries, still do.  But I have to admit having a AN made me see people that are in my life differently.  I am very sorry to say that the people that I would expect to be there for me, for the most part ......have not!  And those that I would not expect to care.....did,......... and many of those people were strangers, believe it or not.  This has been very painful for me especially as many of these people are family members!

Three years after having my tumor removed plus more surgery because of it, there are people that should have been there for me in the bad times that have avoided me like the plague.  I can not figure this out to this day.  The only thing that makes any sense to me is, sometimes people do not know what to say to someone in the bad times, such as when a death has occured and or a serious illness comes into one's life, so maybe to avoid me is easier for them.  Who knows!  Then there are those that I seldom see that cannot do enough for me1  Go figure?  I can say that after returning to my church after a long period of time because I just felt so lousy to go........that there was not one Sunday for at least 4 months that someone would not let me leave without a hug and many people that I would not expect it from told me how much they aways liked me and cared so much about me!  This is what has kept me going.  If it had not been for the kindness of other people an faith in God I don't know what I would have done.

Sonshine