Bad mood..?

[LeeS]

Is anyone besides me in a bad mood? I find having such limited energy very irritating. I have a lot I want to do with my life and putting it on hold for a year or however long it's going to take to feel energetic again is time I can't afford to lose. It's been nearly 2 1/2 months since my 3 cm AN was removed -- how much longer will the recovery take???

Thanks -- misery loves company so feel free to unleash your bad mood here....I hope that's okay!

Lee

[tony]

Sorry, but this really can a be a long haul
there are no prizes for first - but some top-dollar ones
if you rush it and get it wrong
I am now 24 mths out and yes it is better
- but it took some getting here
Best Regards
Tony

[Betsy]

Hi Lee,

I haven't had surgery so I can't relate to the recovery, but 2 1/2 months seems awfully soon to be back 100%.  Tony's right, it will take time.  Frustrating, I know.  Keep working at it, you WILL get there.  Try to make the most of what energy you do have.  Can you break up some of the things you want to do into smaller goals to give yourself a sense of accomplishment now?

Betsy

[Sam Rush]

Recovery is hard to predict. I bounced back from my trans-lab surgery and was at work in my medical office in 2 1/2 weeks!! with lots of energy, no complications except the expected SSD.  Now, 32 months later, I have developed a bad tinnitus and taste disturbance and fatigue.   My BAHA , which is considered minor surgery, took a year and a half to heal, and the skin site still requires rx. 2x daily,.

So, my point is being in a "bad mood" or depressed just throws another wrench into the 1/2 full or empty glass. By making an effort to be positive, and avoid depression, I keep my glass 90% full.!!!

When you are in a bad mood, spend more time on this forum, people have worse problems, and  especially good attitudes, esp. my new friends  Nancy-Ann and Batty Princess, and Phyl.

Think positive!!!   You have had a benign tumor, there are 12,000 worse things you could have had.

Regards

Sam

[Sam Rush]

P.S>  Forgot to mention my positive Canadian friend: Windsong!!!

[Joef]

Sam... what about me? 

It took me a good 6 or 8 months to feel "normal" again ... and now, 2 years later... I feel better now than I have in a long time... but.. I still have some eye and face issues... so its not perfect... but I'm back to working long hours.. fishing on the weekend... working in the yard ..back to living! 

everyone is a little different... how long was your surgery? ... mileage may differ.. but most are 1 week to 1 month for each hour of surgery.

[Sam Rush]

My surgery was 4 hrs. Hitzeleberger was out that day, or we would have had the same 4 Drs.   Joni Doherty left shortly after your surgery.  Dr. Steffan is an internist like me, he asked me how many AN's I've seen. I told him only mine,,,, He sees 300/year more than any other internist in the world.

I just referred a case to Dr. Brackmann, a 48 yr old woman w/ a 4cm mass in the jugular foramen, compressing the 8th 7th, 10th and 12th cranial nerves, ie: she is deaf, off balance, already w/ a facial paralysis., But Dr, B. thinks it's probably a meningioma, not a AN.  In his last book Otologic Surgery, he describes a similar case.  I'm still trying to find a case of AN from my own practice!!

Anyway, getting back to this thread, positive reports like yours are a good example of the futility of being in a bad mood or depressed.

[nancyann]

I hear you Lee - my moods have been fluctuating lately - feeling down about my facial paralysis & at times any little thing seems to set me off - seems to be happening more frequently lately.....  but the moods don't last long, hang in there.   I think it does come down to accepting the new you & figuring out how to still do the things you love, albeit with some limitations  (although Jeanlea is in a class all by herself - maybe in 1 more year I'll be able to do the things she's doing again !!!).  Gotta keep the faith, we've only got this one life to enjoy, & I won't let life pass me by !!!   Take care,   Nancy
ps:  Thanks for the compliment Sam - I needed the boost this morning & there it was !  Now it's off to work I go !!

[Omaschwannoma]

Lee,

I'm 2.5 years post surgery, and teach yoga for the last 1.5 years, with a daily practice of 1.5 hours at home.  I have exhaustion and certainly don't do as much physical work as I used to.  I too became frustrated at the 6 week mark out of surgery as I was told I should be good as before surgery by then (this rational has changed with doctors not putting a time frame on recovery).  After much frustration with my futile recovery I decided to face the "new" me, exhaustion and all, by changing my routine to best fit my physical and mental levels.  It was then that my recovery started to pick up momentum.  Unfortunately for the last 1.5 years I have come to realise I have been misdiagnosed about why my field of vision bounces when I walk (I attended the recent Symposium and spoke with my surgeon and another re this subject).  Turns out I have oscillopsia which opens up whole new ball game in treating/curing what is going on--could even be another tumor on good side.  Won't need to worry about this though (no one said yet to worry) as they are slow growing and I have MRI coming up end of this year.  So, Lee just turn around and face your exhaustion, in spite of your belief that you cannot afford to lose time.  Rest (even 5 minutes of eyes closed relaxed breathing) as much as you can, add an exercise program of something non-strenuous at first building up slowly to stronger routine (walking outside to start with), employ friends, co-workers, family to help out covering for what's not getting done (they've asked I'm sure).  It's very difficult to let go of where we were pre diagnosis and constant thoughts of wanting it back only hinders your recovery.  Succuming to that which you do not have will open the door to that which you can have.  Hope you will allow your "self" what it is telling you (it's tired and needs rest as rest is what heals) and honor this by doing what all of us have done or continue to do. 

[Jeanlea]

Lee,

We all have times when we feel sad, angry, or depressed that we are not where we hoped to be.  I know I have.  It's crappy that this happened,  but it did and I have to move on.  I realize that I have only "now" and need to keep it all in perspective.  So my face doesn't work the same or feel the same.  I'm not letting it stop me from doing anything.  I'm good at conserving energy when I need to so I have some when I need it.  lol  (That's just another way to say I'm good at being lazy when necessary.)  (Nancy, come and join my class anytime.  I'm a good teacher.  Hope you like ice cream.  It's a requirement.  lol)

Yesterday I conquored yet another activity that I was not sure I could do.  I went to a big waterpark.  I was really worried about my eye not closing fast enough to keep out the water.  I bought myself some sports goggles.  I switched between those and my sunglasses all day.  Even on the waterslides that dunked me at the end I was fine.  I made sure to put ointment in my eye every two hours.  We were there for about 7 hours.  I can feel the stairs in my legs today. 
Tomorrow I'm off to a conference with the Temperate Forest Foundation.  We get to hike in the woods.  My husband is picking me up from that on Saturday morning and we are going camping.  Just gotta keep on going.

Jean

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Lee:

As the previous posts make clear, recovery from AN surgery is a relatively slow process, so your frustration is justified. 

I think that Impatience is a common problem for many post-surgical AN patients.  I know that I experienced it.  Now, 13 months past my surgery and 9 months past radiation treatments my tumor has shrunk and shows signs of necrosis.  Frankly, although I thought that I was almost fully recovered six months ago, I'm actually much better today, in terms of my balance and strength.  As positive as I am and intend to remain, I realize that I won't ever be quite the same as I was prior to exhibiting the symptoms of my tumor.  That's probably easier to accept at my age than it might be for someone younger, but I think that accepting reality is really the best way to deal with frustration.

I understand your impatience and empathize with you but that won't make time go any faster, and healing does take time.  Try to relax.

Jim