Help Around House

[Soundy]

Not sure where to stick this , but this seemed the best place

I was talking to a member in PMs and something came up...The sometimes useless feeling
we sometimes get when we can not get all the things done around the house that we
use to get done...

my house is still clean as in no pails of garbage or dirty dishes stacked up ... clothes are washed ...
but clutter of things I should be doing are growing... baskets of clean clothes that just don't
have energy to fold and store ,me and the kids went through their clothes to determine what
they have outgrown or just don't wear so it can he given to charity or put back in laundry stream...
that was two weeks ago and all we did was sort everyones in to piles of what belongs to who...
just got overwhelmed and stopped...husband said give it all away and start over 

The mail and it's following pile of things that need to be looked at and determine is it junk , something
that needs to be kept etc... I do manage to get bills paid as I have came up with a system for that ...
the rest seems over whelming... so I have a rubber-maid tote that is full of who knows what and a stack
of unread magazines

I am just always so tired I start something and don't finish... I bought a in/out tray last week and
started sorting mail as it comes in...and filing junk in file 13 as it comes in...that has helped but still have
a tub of two months worth that needs taken care of...there are some folded clothes in a book shelf... I
guess I just sat them there... there are some toys in my bedroom... I think kids brought them in when
I first came home from hospital and they got stuck in my shelves an drawers...

OK... I guess this is turning into a vent or rant

My question is does anyone have help to keep up??? ... My husband  suggested getting someone
once a week or so to help keep ahead of things...I said no because I am stubborn and think
it would make me feel even worse...

my husband helps ...he did dishes while I was in the hospital and after I first came home and
it took me a while to get things back in proper places... he helps with washing clothe but doesn't
fold...he is great with the kids ... but he is working two full time jobs ...one with the
Electric Company and then the farm..contrary to what some say he is not a part time farmer...
when you have 50 cows and 20 some odd calves to care for there is nothing part time about it ...

the kids do some things like keeping their rooms picked up and getting clothe sorted ... washing dishes a couple
nights a week and farm chores... they don't do house work every day but do farm chores daily... I think
a shift here would be a partial solution but they hate house work and love the farm... don't know if I
really want to upset their apple cart... most kids their age (8 and 10)that I know don't do nearly as
much as they do... most do homework and set in front of TV or video games ...

I am trying to work out something to pull more help from the family... if all three of us tackled something
for 30 minutes once a week that would make 2 hours of work ... three times a week 6 hours... or maybe
a thirty minute blitz mid week and an hour on Saturday ...so far no one wants to change schedules around
but they are annoyed by growing clutter...

Any ideas and experiences appreciated

[Jeanlea]

Wow Soundy, to me it sounds like you are already well-organized!  If it were me, I would get my kids involved, especially in areas like putting away their own clothes.  That is not asking too much of them.  Have them put what doesn't fit in a bag to donate.  The rest can be put away.  As for the piles of mail, take a tiny portion of it each day and sit in front of your filing system.  Doing this for 5 or 10 minutes each day will have the task done in no time.  Don't feel obligated to read all of the magazines right now.  Give yourself permission to let some things go.  Your energy will increase further down the road.  As for help, if you can afford it I would say go for it.  I couldn't justify paying someone to clean my house, but I had no problem with my mom helping out.  You may want to reflect on your standards for now.  It's okay if you can't find everything in the kitchen because hubby put it in a different place.  At least you won't be getting over-tired. 

Just my two-cents.
Jean

[Boppie]

Check out this site...lots of cute pictures and ideas.  Fun to log on every day.  Get the family involved with chores and organization.  FlyLady.net

[yardtick]

Hi Soundy,

I can relate to starting something and not having the energy to finish.  I paid my 16 yr old (my baby), $50.00 to clean out and organize the kitchen cupboards, (I can't put my head in them because the dizziness is enough to make me pass out), the two bathrooms cupboards and the hall closet.  He did a fine job and to me it was worth every penny.  I taught him how to do laundry, no folding, but thats okay, and how to prepare a few dinners.  My three older sons worked a lot over the summer so this gave Gabriel a little spending money. 

Over the past year I have had to delegate.  Thank goodness my husband washes the kitchen floor.  My oldest will grocery shop as well as my husband.  It is difficult to admitt you need help.  I work full time.  At times it almost kills me, but keeping busy keeps my mind off of things. 

Hang in there do what feels right for you and do not beat yourself up over it.  If it doesn't get done today there is always, tomorrow and the day after. 

Anne Marie

[Soundy]

We had a discussion last night and the girls are going to knock of Tuesday and Thursday farm
duty and be doing stuff around house... they are not too happy but neither am I ... truth be
known I would rather be doing farm chores than housework... I did help sort cows and calves for
sell a couple weeks ago and decided that a wobbly person has no business among 1000 plus pound
animals... even the 5 - 6 hundred pound calves seem big... wiped me put physically but was fun
in an odd sort of way... I sat on ground against the sorting pen fence at one point and
had a couple cows come over to check me out... they really look big when you look up at them
from the ground...we don't have any wild or mean animals or I would have been concerened...
instead I just looked back at them and ask them how they were...  my 8 year old told me they
don't speak English... 

A friend gave the Fly Lady address and I have gotten a couple of my ideas from there and
adjusted to my needs... we could afford help but I cannot in my mind justify it ... I would be thinking
what better use we could put the money to...

the girls catch a bus to school at 6:45 so don't do anything in the morning except pitch clothe in
hamper and make bed ... a typical day is home at 3:30 , snack , homework , down time if home work is done
and when their dad gets home around 5 off to do whatever needs doing around the farm , home to eat ,
showers and pick up room a couple times a week...also they each do dishes one night a week...

they love tagging after daddy and the farm in general... so do I , but they have got to see that I have had
a huge change and even though they didn't get a hole cut in their head the change has happened to them too...
so Thursday and Tuesday I get them...probably better to keep one each day as they work better seperated...
and then a whole family blitz through the house on Saturday morning after breakfast and before they scatter
to the winds for the day...(only showing up to be fed  ) ... gonna try this for a while and see how it goes...

A friend suggested I go on strike and only do bare minimum... after a week or two I wouldn't even be
able to see the craft counter which for some reason has really sprouted clutter... my dad thinks he is a
comedian and said to hinge all surfaces so I could put them  at a slant and no clutter could stick...

[Gennysmom]

Boy, I can relate...I work full time and take care of a house, yard and 4 animals and sometimes I just feel like it's all work and no play, especially right now during canning season.  I found for me what helped was that instead of spreading myself thin by trying to do everything, I worked at tackling the basics, then adding in what I could and just accepting that it may not be like it used to be as far as orderliness.  I'm in a real phase of getting rid of things I really don't need so that I can reduce clutter.  I would feel so overwhelmed when I tried to think of keeping up everything, that it would put me in a tailspin...just pick one or two things to concentrate on and get those done and move on.   It's messy now, but I know as soon as October comes and I'm not in the yard or harvesting as much, then the other work will get done. 

[Pembo]

I agree with the others, put those kids to work. Mine do wonders for cash. (11 & 9).

Also set one goal a day.

Rest when those kids are at school so you can be ready for them when they get home.

I'm sure you've had people say to you "if you need anything, just call" and of course you didn't. But take them up on their offer. Say I could use help with xyz. You'd be surprised at what people will do for you when you're down. It's hard to have to sit and recover when you are used to being active. I felt so guilty! However three years later, I could use some of that rest time again. lol

Best of luck to you and vent anytime you need to, we understand.

[Soundy]

Plan has helped some... also made a caper chart for girls like we do at Girl Scouts... mark stuff with
stickers as things are done...they already get some money for farm work and my in-laws give them
too much money every week cause they are their only two grandkids and they think they should
have everything... ( i kinda think less is more sometimes) anyway ...they want to work together
instead of one on Tuesday and one on Thursday ... I will see how that works and told them if they
can't work without fighting I will fine them  ... they are pooling money for something and every
penny counts

When the oldest was a baby and I had worries of backed up clutter someone gave me a framed picture
of me holding her in the hospital  with this poem under it ... they are not babies anymore , but the
message that there are more important things than a perfect house is still there... it was hanging in her
room but she took it down cause she was a big girl... I have rehung it in my office area...just a
reminder to slow down


Babies Don't Keep

Cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait till tomorrow

For babies grow up
We've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep.

[Pembo]

I had that same poem hanging in my laundry room!  Stay strong......