Hi, Denise:
First:
Merry Christmas to you and yours and a
Happy New Year, too! No need for apologies. We're all busy and can't always get to the internet or have time for posting, when we do. I don't.
I suspect your seemingly irrational offer to host Christmas dinner for 18 people was part honest generosity and partly a distraction device to avoid concentrating on the AN you know you have to deal with, very soon. Nothing wrong with that, as I see it. It just shows that you're a cognizant human being. However, please don't allow your fears to control you beyond normal apprehension over upcoming surgery that involves the
brain.
At 1.5 centimeters, your AN is probably not doing a lot of damage and the surgery won't have to be immediate, as mine was. The good part of that is it gives you time to prepare. The bad part is it gives you time to worry and imagine all sorts of terrible outcomes. Don't allow yourself to do that. Although relatively rare, acoustic neuroma removals have been done thousands of times and modern methods make the surgery much safer than ever. The mortality rate is somewhere around 1% - or less. That means you have about as much chance of being run over by a reindeer as dying on the operating table while having your AN surgery.
As for the 'best' surgical method, I can't answer that, Denise. That is something you and your doctors have to decide, with the final decision up to you and you, alone. I had retro and it was very successful. My surgeon advised me that he had to retract the brainstem 'a bit', but that he didn't think it would be a problem...and it wasn't. I came through the surgery just fine and whatever minor problems I encountered were resolved within days or weeks.
Post-op, you'll be fatigued, as other posters have noted. This means that you'll need some help at home with the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc. as you won't be physically able to handle these things, no matter how much you want to. I speak from experience. I slept a lot my first few weeks at home but eventually got back to normal. I was driving again within two weeks. Self-motivation is a factor but of course, it can only do so much if your body needs to rest to heal...and it will. This is major surgery. It takes time to recover fully. Be prepared for that reality. Don't expect your recuperation to be a matter of days or even weeks. It can take months, although every day usually gets a little better.
Your immediate family should be fully informed and prepared for your post-op fatigue. Of course the children shouldn't get
too many details. For co-workers, friends, school teachers, etc. be sure to stress that this is a
benign tumor but in a place that makes it problematic, so it has to be removed. Tell them it's major surgery and the recovery period is a few months, at best. You may have to emphasize that you
don't have brain cancer, but a
benign tumor sitting right next to your brain that is growing and has to come out. That's how I explained it to my friends and family. Most understood. I trust that will be the case with your circle.
Post-op complications can include CSF leaks, headaches, balance problems, eye problems and the facial paralysis you referred to. I truly hope and pray that you escape most, if not all, of these, Denise. In any case, you have to realize that any of these could occur, and be mentally prepared. If you come through without complications, all the better. Good news is easy to deal with.
The feelings of mortality you're experiencing are common and quite normal. I had been very healthy all of my adult life until my AN symptoms surfaced in my early sixties. I was sort of insulted (how ridiculous is
that?) but found peace by realizing how many good years I had been given and realizing that it could have been something fatal, like cancer. Through the whole ordeal of tests, multiple doctor visits and subsequent surgery, hospitalization and recovery I had the good fortune of a supremely supportive spouse, and that made a
huge difference. I was loved, cared for and supported as I pushed myself to resume my normal life and put this 'AN thing' behind me. I bet you'll have a similar experience, Denise.
Finally, if you're still reading this, know that many of us on this forum have been exactly where you are, today. We got through it and most of us are O.K., now, if not somewhat changed by the experience. You have young children that need you so try to be strong and stay positive (but realistic). We're here for you and many prayers will go with you as you continue your 'journey'.
Please stay connected with the board - our link - and keep us up-to-date on whats happening with you, Denise. We do care and wish the best for you. I'm not a doctor, but I think you'll do just fine. I really do.
Jim
