Sorry to have disappeared from view after my initial post in early April (I've been around as a lurker, but feeling too emotionally raw to say much!). I did reach a decision to opt for microsurgery and have it scheduled for June 2 (I've entered the date into the AN events calendar--important dates and milestones coming up for so many people there!). I wrestled with it for a looong time, but since I could never have been comfortable not getting the tumor "all out" (or at least trying to!), it made the most sense for me.
I had a repeat MRI this past Monday (horrible experience! MGH doesn't have an "open" machine, as it turns out, and my husband unfortunately wasn't able to come with me--I will definitely be planning any future MRIs a LOT more carefully...) , and will be getting my pre-admission testing and final review consult with Dr Martuza next Wednesday. I've faxed a request for my records from Ohio State University, where I had an MRI two years after my '89 AN surgery in Florida--I am hoping that even though the FL hospital destroyed (!) my records, OSU will still have charts on me which include a forwarded copy of the post-op note from the surgery. I really don't like the idea of going into surgery in June without my surgeons having all the facts (ie original size/position, method of approach, biopsy report, etc.), even though they've said that nothing they would find in the charts would change what they're going to do now.
The issues to resolve this month will be 1) to keep my pulmonary function in good shape (I'm asthmatic and my asthma doctor said my breathing was so crummy at a checkup 2 weeks ago that I wouldn't be a candidate for anesthesia--I've improved significantly since that appt with diligent use of meds!) and 2) to clarify my steroid sensitivity (I have an appt with a specialist in a couple of weeks). I can't tolerate prednizone (it's been prescribed for asthma flareups in the past with disastrous results) and need to make sure the steroids they use post-surgery are dissimilar enough not to cause problems.
though I hadn't been planning on telling my mother (who's quite ill if stable for now with metastatic breast cancer and has some real cognitive issues--though whether it's dementia from her many many meds or age-related we don't know) until it was absolutely necessary--and perhaps not even till I was out of the ICU--I ended up being forced to (long story...), and she took it surprisingly well. Now I just need to keep my fingers crossed that she stays in her present holding pattern for a while longer...
Anyway, I wanted to update you, and also thank everyone so much for their advice and support when I was really floundering. You are a wonderful bunch of people, and this forum is truly remarkable!
Carrie