Maybe I can think about getting information from vo-rehab and see how to deal with my employer. My job is very tedious and things need to be in order (at least that's how they like it and I can't say as I blame them). I don't feel like I am disabled, I can still do alot of things, but my job requires alot of cognitive skills which I feel that as the years go along since the surgery they are getting worse instead of better. As far as balance goes, you should see me pull into a parking space without anything on the sides to guide me! LOL I just need to get past this thing with my employer. I don't want to make them think I want pity or anything, I want to be able to do these things, I am just struggling right now and sometimes it's worse than others. People know of the surgery, and I get an "oh, it's been 2 years ago, you should be doing alot better by now", and I wonder why I am not :-\ I also don't know how to explain to someone that I am not doing better but will probably always be like this or, god forbid, worse, without feeling like I am looking for pity, which I am not. Dunno, guess I just feel kinda like I'm in a gutter right now. Maybe it's been too long of a winter, but I need to see a neurologist as opposed to my surgeon because surgery went fine as far as he's concerned (and it did), things are just changing and I am struggling with it like everyone else out there who has gone through these sorts of things with AN and other things. I am so glad this board is here so I can just type this stuff out. Sometimes just that seems to help me!ÂÂ