My Grandmom's 80th birthday at a LOUD restuarant

[mikjul1]

Had my Grandmom's birthday today I wish I could hear everything but it was so loud in the restaurant that I could not hear her opening her presents could not move because to many people around man I hate loud places when you are trying to hear that is what sucks about SSD.Family were trying to ask me things and my wife keep saying just agree because I could not hear.The servers would come and ask what I wanted to eat I felt like a top spinning looking to see if someone was going to ask me something. Just thought I would vent I am sure I am not alone on this subject.
                                              Mike Corso

[jlamborn]

I totally understand your frustration.  Others in the group just don't understand.  I can only stand just so long in a crowded restaurant, and even in the birthday get-togethers at work.  It just builds to the point where I have to just tune out and mute or turn down my hearing aid.  My husband is usually with me at restaurants and just orders for me, or explains for me because he knows I have repeating it over and over. 

Also for me besides the hearing over load, with my translab and the cutting of the hearing and balance nerve, walking around in Wal-Mart really throws me; those large areas and the white floor just throws me off where I have to hang on to a basket to keep from weaving all around and makes me dizzy.  It was strange, I was at a Wal-Mart in Denver a few weeks ago and they had a tan floor everywhere and it was so much better.  Much be something about all that white space and reflection.

[CHD63]

Mike .....

I can totally identify with the loud restaurant frustration.  I frequently just let my husband intercede for me ...... much easier.  However, I refuse to become a recluse (and stay home) because I cannot distinguish what people are saying so I just go along ..... when our family or friends get the "blank look," they know to repeat with clearer enunciation (louder does not help).  Even our 4-year-old granddaughter has learned to speak more clearly to me.

I am amazed how some people react to hearing deficits.  Tonight I was helping our granddaughter in Vacation Bible School and standing in the middle of a large group of chattering children, when another adult came up to me and began talking ..... I explained that I could not understand her in that environment, but she continued to talk anyway so I just nodded and gave her the "blank look."   

Clarice

[Cheryl R]

I know quite too well about how many surfaces are hard to walk on with the no balance nerve.              I do best on carpet and am grateful that some malls have that.     The too shiny tile and all smooth floors really bother me.      I do use a cart in the discount stores as that does help.                             Yesterday our family went to Iowa amusement park, Adventureland.  Most of the walkway was smooth and dark gray and of course lots of people.    Not a huge place luckily.         I was probably 20 feet behind my family when we had to walk a ways.               Only rarely did anyone look to see where I was as they had the kids in a stroller and didn't go too slow.               Very maddening.                                     Cheryl R                                             

[Syl]

Mike:

I totally understand. I have sirious to severe hearing loss in my AN ear and it's the same way for me in crowded places. When I'm in line at the pharmacy waiting to be called, my head constantly turns left to right, back and forth, back and forth waiting for a clerk to call the next person in line, hoping not to miss it when it's my turn.

I took a trip recently. I've always had trouble understanding what is said over the intercom in an airport. This time it was worse than ever. It was my 1st time at an airport with my hearing loss. Luckily, I wasn't alone, so I had more sets of ears helping me out.

I went to a retirement party recently. It was so loud that I found myself reading the lips of the people next to me, especially the one on my AN side.

Syl

[leapyrtwins]

Mike -

you are DEFINITELY not alone on this - it happens to the best of us.

Kudos to you for attending - and not just choosing to sit this one out.  I'm sure your grandmom was glad you were there; and I'm sure you were glad too!

Jan

[Jim Scott]

Mike ~

No, you're certainly not alone in dealing with SSD in noisy restaurants and similar situations .  I'm tempted to use the phrase "welcome to the wonderful world of SSD" - but I won't.    As you now know - all too well, SSD quickly becomes a real problem in loud environments.  We all cope in different ways in these situations.  I usually focus on one person at a time and chat with them, exclusively,  moving on as the conversation lags.  My wife, who is usually with me in social situations, fills me in when I miss things, which helps.  She always reminds me to tell the person sitting on my deaf side that I cannot hear in that ear and to just tap me on the shoulder if they want to talk to me.  Admittedly, now and then a few people (sitting on my deaf side) have chosen to ignore me rather than do that - but most go along.  I don't always succeed but I try to make the conversation interesting.  Of course, this can heavily depend on my 'audience'. 

SSD can sometimes be a struggle but unless you spend a lot of time in noisy environments, it is manageable.  At least I've found that to be the case.  Again, we're unique individuals and what is manageable for one SSD person may be impossible for another.  Of course, the BAHA is a big help for many SSD folks but like any device, it isn't magic and does have limitations. 

By the way, Mike, venting is freely allowed here. 

Jim

[Kathy M]

We're in a great place here to be able to vent and folks know exactly what you mean!!!!  I still keep going because I'm determined not to let my life be limited and miss out, but sometimes it is really hard.  I smile and nod a lot and try not to agree to anything for fear I missed what was asked!

My neurotologist said that tables or booths along a wall really helps - he is right.  I try to ask for one if it looks like they are not too busy. 

Feel free to vent - you're always among friends here.

Kathy

[mikjul1]

Thanks all for your messages back the place we went was like a hall so there was no booths and it was crowded most of the people I know and family know to talk to me on the left side can not wait for the processor. Again Jim thanks for the change in the calender.I  keep telling myself that I am different then normal hearing people I wish I knew what it is like to hear out of both ears oh well.
                                       
                                                                                              Mike Corso

[alicia]

Being in loud places is frustrating for me too!  I hate to admit to people that I have no idea what they are talking about.  I also have trouble understanding people on my answering machine.  I sometime have to play it 2 or 3 times or ask my kids what is being said!

You have dealt with this for a long time...can't wait to hear what your BAHA experience is!

[Esperanza]

Hello,
SSD can be awful sometimes even when we cope well generally.
I've been invited to a hen party and have an evening wedding reception to attend in a couple of weeks and I must
admit I am thinking of inventing excuses to avoid both... which is sad really and I am - well I used to be! a very social person
who enjoyed meeting new people.  I tend to stear clear of places with big groups of people I don't know now 

[ChrisB]

Just one more post to say, "Hang in there, Mike."  While I still prefer not to go in noisey restaurants (and some other places), it's gotten much better since being "aided."  I suspect you'll begin to hear/feel the difference as you get used to your BAHA.  I happen to have a TransEar, and a couple of months ago upgraded to the new model with much better frequency response characteristics, and it's helped a great deal.  Not having anything was a really bad experience after 58 years of binaural hearing suddenly (literally overnight) going to SSD.  It was 6 months before I got my first TransEar, and despite some problems with the audiologist not programming it properly, etc., it was still a great help.  And with the technology improvements since, it's another major step. 

Probably the most dramatic change I noticed a couple of months ago was in a Sunday school class my wife and I teach.  I've learned to hate that particular room, but there are no alternatives.  The air conditioner fan is far too powerful for our system, apparently, and the sound of the air coming through the vent in the room is louder than any A/C or heating system I've ever heard before.  The air pressure from it is so strong that it's very difficult for anyone other than a good-sized adult to open the door - literally.  Needless to say, everyone here can probably relate to just how much I was able to comprehend in that room - maybe 30-40%, and only then if the instructor was loud, no one else was talking, or any comments were from people close and on my "good side."  I've struggled with teaching the class with my wife in that room, because I hate to keep asking class members to keep repeating answers simply because I can't hear them.  The first Sunday I went in after getting my new generation TransEar a couple of months ago, I literally thought some A/C tech had finally found a way to turn down the volume of air being blown into that room - I could certainly hear it, but it was much softer, relative to the other sounds.  My comprehension is considerably up, and repetition rates are correspondingly down.  It's nice.

So everything's perfect now?  Not even close.  But I'm avoiding much less than even 3 months ago, and I suspect your BAHA will provide you with a similar experience once you're used to it.  While not having had the BAHA experience, it's the same basic principle my device uses (bone conduction), and I've noticed that technology is being advanced with the BAHA too.  Hopefully you'll have the same types of experiences many of us have had, making life much more comfortable, and intolerable situations more tolerable at minimum.

Chris