Good point Pooter. Well, it's all theoretical to me, even when I stare at the MRI
The only real facts I can relate to are that I feel significant "instability", and I now have to do a double take every time I move, to keep my balance. I have asked others if they see any noticeable things in my stride, and one guy said only if he looks for it.
Inside, I know that there's an increase from when this first became a daily phenomenon in August. I actually reroofed my shed back then (climbed up and down a ladder on top of a backyard shed) for a day and a half, pausing at the top to regroup. I've continued to exercise since then (lifelong habit), 3-5 times a week, jumping rope, doing burpees (jumping squat thrusts), lifting weights overhead, etc. I've pushed through the imbalance. In the last month or 2 (or 3), I "feel" the imbalance has increased more. I feel it now sitting down, right now as I type. I remember the first day I felt it "while driving" .... it scared me. Today I feel more "comfortable" with my elbows on the desk .... it's more stable. And I'm pretty tired by the end of the night ..... I feel my brain is working overtime to compensate. And for the first week in years that I can remember, I haven't worked out for 4 consecutive days because of feeling "tired". Laying down is much more rewarding NOW than exercising later at night .... oh and FORGET about exercising in the morning. And lastly, picking up toys on the floor to put in the toy box is now an aversion (Ok it always was but now it;'s more
), and this morning I had to put the garbage out with lots of card board boxes to "cut up" that I in the past would have somewhat enjoyed ..... burden.
So maybe it's not fast growing, or that's not a good term that is medically accurate. But whatever this doctor meant to say, I can correlate it to my internal experiences that this is increasing without let up ..... I haven't had a self rated "low" instability day for the last 2 weeks.
Of course, I could be imagining all of this ..... that's what I thought over a year ago, and it wasn't until I got my MRI 3 weeks ago that people in my life took me seriously. I would love to have a 2nd MRI to substantiate and support and back up my internal, self-assessment .... really I would. The doctor's language was music to my ears - he "understood" what I was feeling. But in the end it, it would not influence my quality of life now in anyway whatsoever. It might make me try to get my surgery sooner / later (if fast growth was medically ascertained / debunked), but it won't help me now, and I'm a little worried that administrative hospital/insurance buearucracy will slow me down while the "progressive" bugger seems to be getting the best of me.
Right now the ball is in someone else's court as I await to see a 2nd / 3rd radiation doctor for consultation .... get a cat scan , then schedule my treatment. No worries here, I know I need P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E .... (and some more physical stability - wish they sold this in a pill ......
).
