Sorry to hear your doctor's choice of words was so blunt and upsetting. I had a similar experience with my doctor on other issues I was having and it's made it so I don't want to go back to see him again.
I, too, didn't worry much about facial issues pre-op. It wasn't so much that I thought it wouldn't happen to me (facial paralysis), actually since my face was already showing some weakness I was pretty sure I would have some facial issues after surgery.. but I thought "eh, I can deal with a face that's a little droopy", not realizing it's so much more than that. The unblinking eye, having to remember eye drops and straws everywhere you go, trying not to chew your lip up as you eat, little children looking at you and then hiding with their mothers (okay, maybe that's only happened to me
), not being able to imitate your kids when they make funny expressions, not being able to whistle, etc - it all gets tiring and depressing. So I know where you're coming from. I know it's supposed to be "what's on the inside that counts" and all, but you never realize how much your facial expressions and appearance really affect how others understand you and how you feel about yourself, until something ruins it all!
I'm 4 months postop today and finally feeling okay about it. I don't have any movement yet, but resting tone is improving. Looking in the mirror is less shocking for me, but I hate looking at pictures of myself so I try not to let anyone take them. Hang in there! Here's hoping it gets better for both us of, and soon!