my wife tries ... tries very hard! she will say that i can't hear when i just stare at the waitress. she would do about anything for me.... and has!
but she will almost always turn off the closed captioning on the TV as soon as the show is over. it interferes with her seeing. she will still talks when i can't see her. she will ask if i heard that bird call. etc...
this upsets me.
She has been there for me in the ways that she does get. when i remind her, she gets back to the ways that work for me.
and geeze i am still angry! i had Ck to not have the hearing loss, the numbness in the face, the wobbly feelings. the doctor could care less - just said to get on with life. i knew that you would loose your hearing, etc.
i go to a singing event last night - the songs were great - soft music. but i did not count on the clapping and the screechy calls and whistles. the my wife tried to introduce me to people afterwards. i could not hear a word in the noisy hall.
i have no usable hearing in the NA ear and wear an aid in the other. i have started to think about a BAHA aid
![Huh ???](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/huh.gif)
?? i am scared to do another proceedure ....
i felt bad as i did not wish to stay and listen to my wife. guilt added to anger.
this is how i try to get back to square one .... i remember that my wife had breast cancer 5 1/2 years ago. i had / have empathy for her. i was concerned. do i still have any idea as to what she went through?
![Huh ???](https://www.anausa.org/smf/Smileys/classic/huh.gif)
do i understand what it is like to get the annual exams / tests for follow up? do i understand anything that anyone else has gone through? do i know what anyone else here is going through? i may think that i do ---- but i just can think with my own biases interfering.
this article is making me think. i need to go home and ask her about her and then be willing to say what is on my mind. and i know to say what is on my mind will come with tears or anger (not at her). have i really said what i think - to her? i know hat ti have held back a bunch. too much?
hey Pooter - life is a bear isn't it? no answers - just my thoughts....on me
thanks for making me think!