Made a decision.....but still scared....

[sloxana]

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in awhile.  Not since my AN was diagnosed in 2007.  After the first " I can't believe it" and obtaing as much info as I could, I decided to take the "wait and see" approach.  After another MRI back in Feb, Dr. Haynes said my tumor was growing and I needed to think about deciding on the next step....radiation or sugery.  I decided on surgery for a lot of different reasons, but once the decision was made it was a huge relief.  Since my surgery was not scheduled until September I tried to put it out of my mind.  Well, the date is fast approaching....less than 2 months now....and I am starting to get verrrryyy nervous.  I am a high anxiety person anyway and the worry is about more than I can handle....and that's with anxiety medication! :-)  I worry about a lot of things but mostly I worry about my children...ages 14 and 17.  (I have another son but he's 24 and living on his own).  I've made arrangements for someone to be at my house every day to handle whatever help I may need, but I wish I knew how long it will be before I can manage things on my own.  Any advice out there?  Thanks for helping me.
Susan

[Jim Scott]

Hi, Susan ~

First, let me assure you that your growing anxiety as Surgery Day approaches is completely normal.  Although I'm sure you're in good (medical) hands and will do just fine, the thought of the inherent risks and the challenge facing the doctors who'll perform the surgery can be daunting.  Of course, you'll be unconscious so your part is pretty easy! 

I have to mention the fact that your worrying will not affect the outcome of the surgery one tiny bit.  If it goes well, as I expect it will, the worry will have been all for nothing.  Even if things don't go perfectly and/or you encounter some complications during or after the surgery, your previous worries will still have no effect on anything, except to have unnecessarily burdened yourself.  Although you state that you're a 'high anxiety person' by nature, I believe we can all control our emotions  to some extent.  Basically, you have to choose not to worry.  Not easy or simple, I know.  We all worry when facing a serious event such as your upcoming AN surgery.  Many people posting here have gone through the AN removal operation (including me) and come out quite well, even if a few problems emerged at some point.  Nothing is insurmountable unless we allow it to become so.

I suggest you make a real attempt to banish the 'what-if's' from your consciousness as much as possible. That line of thinking is a dead end.  Keep busy and try not to focus on your upcoming surgery all the time. Your kids will be fine.  You should be out of the hospital within 5 days and although not up to much right away, within a few weeks you should be getting around O.K.  Maybe sooner.  As unique individuals, we all recover a bit differently.  Most AN post-surgery patients can function on their own within two weeks.  I'll bet you do even better!

I hope some of what I've offered here is helpful and of course, you'll be the thoughts and prayers of many people before, during and after your surgery.  You have friends here, Susan.   

Jim   

[leapyrtwins]

Susan -

my best advice is don't second guess your decision.  Have confidence in the choice you have made and in your doctors.

The first days post op are pretty rough, but they pass quickly and from my experience I can honestly say that things tend to get better daily. 

Try not to get frustrated, try to have patience, and take advantage of any help that is offered to you - everything from house cleaning to babysitting.  I found that most people are more than happy to help you out if you just ask. 

Jan

[turbomom]

Hi Susan,
You have taken the first big step-----making a decision. I noticed that you were originally diagnosed 7/9/2007. Well I was diagnosed 7/9/2009 and after waiting a year decided on surgerey which was just last week on 7/7/10. I also have 3 children, ages 14,17,21(all boys). As for me personally, I basically told my boys that I had a growth on my hearing nerve that I had to get removed before it got too large and created too many problems. I tried to keep it simple and basic for them. I think that the biggest struggle for them has been watching me move at a turtle's pace and having to have help with my walking. However, 10 days post surgery I can take the steps on my own and get around the house unassisted.
As for being nervous, I would ask myself "why". In my opinion it is important to be at peace with your decision. Take time for yourself each day and pray or mediatate or just do something that relaxes you. Try and spend time with your friends that lift you up and encourage you. Know what it is that you hope to gain from the surgery. For me it was as simple as getting the "thing" out of my head and being able to still smile and hopefully hear.
I have had meals brought for the past 5 days and more to come next week. Thanks to a great network of friends I tend to not ask for alot of help, but I have a great friend that took charge and told me meals were coming whether I liked it or not .
I hope this helps you some. Feel free to ask if you have more questions.
Remember, this is a bump in the road of life. Stay positive, seek peace, and move forward with a positive attitude.
Lisa (aka; turbomom)
There will always be bumps in the road and as I told my boys, "It's a bump in the road, but with good friends, God's grace and positive attitu

[CHD63]

Susan .....

As Jim said, it is very normal to experience anxiety as you await the surgery date.  Try to spend your time doing fun things with your family, as well as planning ahead for how things can be simplified for the post-surgery days.

Recovery time is very individual but many of us were back to taking care of our own needs within two to three weeks (some sooner, some longer).  You may have some lingering issues but they usually are manageable by a month after surgery.

Best thoughts and prayers.

Clarice

[moe]

Welcome Susan,
Good advice from everyone. Keep the positive attitude. Your bugger will be out before you know it.
The what ifs can scare you, but yours is still on the small size, so I bet you're back on your feet in no time.
My kids were all teens when I had mine out, and they did fine. Helps to get them involved when you come home, fixing sandwiches, or eggs or whatever. Walking will be the best thing post op, and if you can stay in shape and exercise before surgery, that's even better.
Try to stay busy, focused, have fun with your kids (if they'll still let you )
We care!
Maureen

[NancyMc]

Susan,
I was back doing everything around the house and yard as soon as I was released (three days post-op) and driving within two weeks or so.  Your kids will be fine.  You will be fine.  Enjoy a lot of physical activity in these two months since you may want to be a wee bit cautious post-op while you're still bandaged.   Get the pre-op details out of the way and then go out and play!
Best of luck!
Nancy

[opp2]

My case was similar to Susan. I was away from home for the first two weeks. My kids (8&5) were with their Grandmother thankfully. The woman is a saint.

We went from Vancouver BC to Whistler on day 5. While in Whistler I walked a little every day. We didn't buy much but we shopped. I slept every day and I've never been one to nap.

I arrived back home here this past Friday night. It was great. The flight was good, I wasn't tired. I was so happy to see my kids. I've been out driving since then (Monday) and went for a few groceries. I've been picking up after the kids, but no heavy lifting. I feel great. I'm a little slow out the gate in the morning, and my kids have been awesome, coming in and staying with me from the time they get up until I'm ready to drag my butt out of the sack.

It is soooooo good to be home, and to be moving forward.

Nikki