Job Treat You Differently?

[msuscottie]

After my first complication filled AN surgery I was out of work for almost 4 months and then after my last surgery I missed about 6 weeks and since I've returned to work I notice that I'm treated a little differently. After my first surgery there was a great deal of sympathy and support, but after going through everything again and missing 6 more weeks, people are treating me like I've taken 6 months of vacation in the past few years. It's hard for me to even get a few hours off to get to all of my Dr. appointments without getting those "missing MORE work?" looks. Maybe it's just me, but it feels like I've worked hard for this company for 5 years and some bad luck kind of ruined my reputation. My wife & I just had a baby and I took a week of for that and it was greatly frowned upon. I find myself wishing that they knew what it was like to have some life changing experiences like I have had over the past few years so that they understood. I just had an exchange with my boss who said that "now that all of my hospital time is over I should realize that work is my priority," to which I responded, "no, work is YOUR priority, my priorities are my family & my health, THEN work." I don't think he liked that answer, but I'm frustrated with it. I guess us survivors see life in a differnt light? Maybe it's just time for a new job and a fresh start

[Gennysmom]

I know that I've talked to several people about this lately.  I haven't even had surgery yet and my work is doing the opposite in a way...they're wanting me not to be stressed, so now I don't get involved in any discussions or decisions, and I feel like I'm invisible.  Which, I think, is even more stressful then letting me  handle things.  I've been in 3 times to try to coordinate things with my boss to make it easier for them when I leave and I get brushed off.  I don't know what they'll do when I come back.  At this rate, the invisible thing makes me feel unappreciated, and I don't want to come back, but have to pay the mortgage somehow.  It's so frustrating.  I've been here 17 years. 

[Battyp]

I feel like I have INVISIBLE tatooed on my forehead.
I think there is nothing worse than giving it all to your place of employment and them turning their back on you at at time like this.  I've bee with my company for 8 years..this is my 9th and I feel like I'm walking a tight rope trying to hang on and recover with all the problems I'm having.

Scott maybe a new start is the right answer but then again..if you're still needing to  miss time for appts that gets sticky too.  It's all so frustrating to me!

[ppearl214]

OH, Scott, I can sooooooo relate. Since I told my bosses of my diagnosis and since I had my CK procedure, not only are they watching me like a hawk but now have verbalized on many occassions, "if you don't feel you can do/handle it, we'll give the project to someone else". Trust me, my self-esteem is not easily tarnished, but I've been there for over 6 yrs, with glowing reviews and even rec'd "President's Award" on 2 occassions... and now this. Only since my diagnosis and procedure.

Private email is open if you need a good ear.

Phyl

[msuscottie]

Well, I'm sorry to hear that you guys are in the same boat, but at the same time it's nice to know I'm not alone. Invisible is a perfect word. I've been here 5 years and people that started in the past two years, when I was out recovering, treat me like I've been here a week. I was promoted 3 times before my first surgery, demoted twice after. It's not performance related ever, it's just that whole, if you're body can't take the 70 hour work weeks anymore, maybe this is a better position for you. So now I'm in a cube in the back corner of the office with very limited interaction with anyone. Two years ago I was the Director of Communications. I feel like Milton in Office Space  =)  Maybe we should all just start the National AN Society and work together, that would be a fun office  =)

[Gennysmom]

Or, we could make our own company!!!!!  Great idea!!!!!!!!!  We have enough creativity in here, I think we could do almost anything!

[msuscottie]

At least everyone would understand if we had to go to a Dr. appointment   

[Battyp]

LOL Lately I don't seem to understand much of anything!  I'm so tired of dealing with people and their problems who are fit enoguh to work, have no medical problems just live crisis to crisis through everyone else.    Ok, can we tell I'm having a bad day?  Found out first thing this morning denied for ssd, got chewed out from my boss, got chewed out from an employee, had to gently tell another she had no job as of today and the saga continues....CALGON.....think it will help?  or maybe heavy drinking?  I wanna a job where you don't have to intereract with people face to face, you don't have to dress up and put on professional attire (pantyhose  LOL) and you can take off for drs appts whenever you need to!

[msuscottie]

Well, when we open our office there will be no dress code, no set hours and no requirement to speak to anyone.

[matti]

I can relate to these issues on somewhat of a different level. I did an enourmous amount of volunteer work in my community for many years, spending 60+ hours a week. As soon as I was diagnosed and had surgery, I became invisible. I was not included on projects that I once headed and people questioned my ability. I constantly told them that I was ok, but I guess they never bought it. Pretty sad when you are fired from a volunteer position.

Msuscottie - Don't let em take your stapler  (great movie)

Battyp - I would try both the calgon and the heavy drinking LOL

Our own company...what a great idea. Definetly would be a fun place to work 

[Gennysmom]

Alright Tom, you're president.
msuscottie, you're CEO and head of the board for thinking of this.
Batty, you're in charge of booze and pill procurement.
Matti, you can be in charge of our volunteer department
Phyllis, you're our cheering squad and counselor.
I'll schedule everyone's doctor's appointments for them.
We don't need no stinkin' jobs!!!  We'll run this thing and make all the non-AN people work and bring us money!!!!  Or winning lottery tickets. 

[Battyp]

well we better get on it before I lose my house..my sanity I lost months ago  LOL

[Captain Deb]

I guess, in spite of frequent raging migraines, I am totally lucky to have the kind of job Batty just described. I don't even have to change outta my jammies to go to work, or outta my birthday suit if I don't wanta. Downside: no health benefits or regular paycheck! Or unemployment. Or paid vacation.

Can I be the art director for the new business and have medical, dental and a weekly paycheck?

Thanks,
Capt Deb

[Jeanlea]

I'm writing this for newly diagnosed people who may be worried about returning to work.  I had my AN surgery on September 6 and returned to work on October 31.  I guess I am very lucky that I am a teacher.  My superintendent arranged for me to come back half days my first two weeks, with the sub being there all day the first week.  If I had needed the sub the second week I could have had that also.  It was a great transition especially considering the fact that I had started the year in Kindergarten.  An opening occured in third grade right before my surgery so I took it.  My sub explained to my students what had happened to me.  So did the teacher across the hall.  The whole staff treated me as a fellow professional and were happy to see me return.  Even though I was, and still am, carrying the side effects of facial paralysis and numbness from the AN surgery nobody seemed to think any less of me.  Luckily my balance was fairly good and has steadily improved with time.
In addition to my regular teaching duties I also do some teaching for teachers.  The person in charge of this was thrilled that I was able to return.  Before my workshop she explained to the participants what I'd gone through.  Then we continued as normal. 
All in all, I'm grateful to be working with such wonderful people who still treat me as the professional I've always been.  I wish that all of us could  be working in such environments.

Jean

[Battyp]

Deb you havta paint purty pics for all our offices! (said with my best southern twang  LOL)

Jean how are you handeling the talking with your facial paraylsis?  My tongue is numb which is the root of my problems with speaking for long periods..do you have any of that going on?